Hopefully - just a little phase I'm going through!

I really hate that sudden feeling of confusion, an un-preparedness to pursue that task or goal which, only a few moments before, you knew you were fully capable of fulfilling. It's not even anything out of the usual, perhaps even part of a regular routine, that suddenly becomes daunting. Even one's thoughts seem to be jumbled up, impossible to decipher. 

Quite a while since I last experienced that but, yesterday, it suddenly hit me and I can't even remember what the task was that I either completed or cancelled. At lunch-time today it seemed more like a panic attack as I began preparation for this evenings meal; I'm rather pleased with myself that I was able to continue despite a sense of emotional exhaustion.

Glands, at side of my neck and under my chin, have been feeling a kind of sharp bruised tenderness for a couple of days now whilst my eyes have reacted with extreme sensitivity, spasmodically and hopefully very temporarily, towards any light source -  a kind of sensory overload. Sudden waves of overwhelming exhaustion, as if something's achingly gnawing through my bones as well as muscles, serve to remind me of my quite routine state of being for months at a time during the past decade.

The bright side is that it has made me feel most grateful for a fairly sustained run of reasonably good days. I'm just hoping and praying that I'm not heading for a total relapse.

Emetic Virus - alarming symptoms from overexposure

With ever increasing exposure to its spouting puce physiognomy, one can't help but feel that there is very little hope for those in society without the necessary wealth inheriting, tax avoiding, gene. This is a bold virus that strives to batter the economically unfortunate, and the disabled, into submission rather than replicating itself. Other viruses of similar status tend to thrive as bloodsuckers.

This particular virus emanated from Eton, transmitted via  an Oxford-Bullingdon Syndrome, and is sustained through excessive exposure on BBC and some other TV channels.

Whenever this vile puce spouting physiognomy appears, my immediate response is an urgent desire to vomit, accompanied by an uncontrollabble explosion of expletives. Surely someone with a mature humanitarian conscience could produce an antidote for this pernicious disease. 

EASTER DAY

 

Colour comes back into life – overwhelms the morbid grey – despite their defeat with the death of their leader, it wasn’t long before the disciples were enabled to boldly proclaim the good news – something miraculous had occurred, these frightened and despairing social misfits were transformed – that’s the experience of RESURRECTION!

Easter Greetings

Mal moans and murmurs

I've just put a new posting, shake me and I'll rattle - but I don't know when, on my Mal's Murmuring blog. It's on the topics of aches, pains and medications.

Moany Moany not Mony Mony

"Which way do I turn?" and "dare I turn?"; these related questions come to the fore at erratically scattered instants of day or night. In the past few days, tortuous pains have danced from left side of the back (a hollow bruising ache just below the shoulder blade, as if one was undergoing a sequence of blows from a felt coated lead lump hammer) to a more acute nagging pain in the left side of the back just above hip level. These sensations tend to overlap with a more constantly recurring gnawing ache just under the rib cage and, other old familiars returning with a vengeance. 

 A nausea inducing throbbing pain, on the inner side of the upper left arm - accompanied by a tenderness in the armpit, frequently prevents my attaining an appropriate period of rest during the night. As exhaustion overtakes me mid-afternoon, a gnawing ache, occasionally becoming more acute, in wrists and elbows necessitates the donning of wrist splints (both arms) and the taking of additional pain killers.Today, this discomfort in upper limbs vied for honours with a throbbing pain around the knees which seemed to ease slightly with the donning of elastic supports.

 A sensation of giddy light-headedness, alongside not infrequent griping reminders of my IBS and diverticular problems, does little to help me feel at ease. Despite all the above, I did manage to enjoy a celebratory lunch at The Park yesterday for our wedding anniversary but, even that didn't come payback free!

quite a beak full!

back to NORMALITY?

So much of our lives are spent simply letting regular life experiences wash over us. Passive recipients of what ever opportunities life offers us we, of necessity, avoid reacting to most peripheral events. Life goes on as normal but we may suddenly be ambushed by limitations to what has, so far, been our normality. On many occasions the limitation may simply be with regard to the specific situation, in which one finds oneself, for which we have had no prior experience or necessary practice. 

Variety happens but, it does not always seem to add spice to life; as a matter of fact much of the variety may be of an unwelcome kind. Health-wise it has been a case of swings and roundabouts; just as one celebrates alleviation of a particular neurological symptom they seem to stumble upon a variant manifestation of the same underlying condition.

This morning, my body reminded me of the limitations imposed by a combination of neurological illness and the general aging process. It is almost as if there are (at least) two distinct normalities, that of the mind and spirit struggling with that of pure corporeality.

 It is several years now since I first had to learn, experientially (the hard way), how to pace myself; having reluctantly accepted that I must now function on/from a lower plateau, than was my earlier norm, I still feel a sense of shock when any jolting reminder of this limitation catches me out.

As the sun was shining, I set out this morning, with a walking-stick supported spring in my step, to collect a prescription from my GP’s surgery, a loaf of bread and a bottle of milk. The Surgery isn’t any  more than a seven to eight minute walk (even accounting for my limitations) and the bakery and grocery stores are passed en route. That would seem to be a little light exercise but, I hadn’t accounted for meeting up with a couple of friends during this restricted travel. I stopped and spoke to my first friend J for two to three minutes and a couple of minutes further on in the expedition encountered  friend C with whom I had a little chat. 

On arriving at the Surgery’s reception I had a couple of minutes wait before I picked up my prescription; by this time I was feeling quite light-headed and aching limbed. What I’d forgotten was that, as part of my current ‘normality’, standing to chat seems to reduce my stamina levels more swiftly than the brief walk itself! It was with great relief that I was able to sit down for ten minutes at the local pharmacy, in the same parade of shops as the grocery and bakery shops’ whilst they dispensed my sundry medications. By the time I got back home I was feeling achingly shattered!

*****

I suppose that this ‘shatteredness’ shouldn’t have been so surprising, considering that the previous couple of days had been quite eventful, even incorporating a visit to A&E and a consequent overnight stay in the hospital.

Saturday morning, at about 2.30am, a sudden sharp bruised pain down the left hand side of my rib cage, accompanied by an acute stitch-like pain emphatically (horizontally) underlining the breast bone. The pain seemed to ease as I clasped the painful area with my right hand and, it eventually disappeared after about fifteen minutes. So far, so good but, the bruised aching pain kept nagging away at regular intervals in the course of the day. Around 8.00pm, the pain returned with a pallor inducing vengeance; a hollow giddiness occupying head and torso left me feeling quite disembodied. At this time my beloved repeated an earlier offer to take me down to A&E and, this time, I instantly accepted.

The receptionist (at A&E) thought I needed to sit down and said that ma belle could log me in. Although my blood pressure went soaring, I was relieved that the ECG showed normal coronary activity. When the doctor examined me she suggested that I had a chest x-ray and blood tests but, as a follow up blood test would be required in the middle of the night, had me admitted to hospital. The doctor had inserted a cannula in the back of my hand which unfortunately, and somewhat dramatically, fell out as I moved into the X-Ray department leaving a splendid crimson blood trail on the floor. The nurse swiftly grabbed a pad to which I applied pressure to stop the flow from the distended vein, whilst he swiftly mopped and disinfected the contaminated floor area.    

Eventually a porter wheeled me up to Bolton Ward where they initially set me up on a heart monitor. Everyone with whom I had contact on this ward made me feel like a person, rather than a client, leaving me most impressed with their friendly and efficient attention to their duties. The clinical support auxiliary very swiftly, and without any fuss, cannulated the median cubital vein; nursing staff always seem to perform these tasks better than doctors, presumably because they have more experience.

My second lot of blood samples were taken at around 3.00am on Sunday and later the doctor told me that the tests were negative. Once this was ascertained a nurse came and removed the heart monitor. By 10.50am my discharge papers had been prepared and, I only had to await ma belle chauffeuse to whisk me back home. I was assured by both ward sister and the duty consultant that, even though the pain was musculoskeletal rather than cardiac in origin, ma belle had done exactly the right thing in taking me to A&E.

It was wonderful, and seemed extra special, to share Sunday lunch (which I had partially prepared the previous afternoon) with my beloved but then, every moment shared with my better half is very special.

FRAUD ALERT - Nutriberry Slim and Vita Cleanse

Having been enticed and misled by their (Nutriberry Slim and Vita Cleanse) advert on a Facebook page, at the end of August, my beloved sent for a free sample of each product, albeit for an extortionate post and packaging charge.

Shortly after receiving them her blood pressure was raised from her normal reading and her GP confirmed that there were ingredients which could have that effect.

Meanwhile I looked up the product online* and found that this company was defrauding people of substantial sums of money. They treat the request for a sample as a subscription agreement, so, we began to worry and immediately contacted the credit card company,
with a view to closing the credit card account/cancelling the card, but a lady assured her that they would block any attempt to take further payment.

On 9 September we received notification of RMA numbers from Nutriberry and Vita Cleanse to use with our returned product as follows:

From: Nutriberry Slim <502@helpdesk.emailcenterpro.com>
Date: 10 September 2013 15:32
Subject: RMA Notification #XXXXX
To: XXXXXXXX

RMA Notification

Order Number: XXXXXX Ordered on 08/31/2013 03:37am   Dear xxxxxxxx, This email is to inform you that we have received your request to return your order of Nutriberry Slim - Trial, which was originally purchased on 08/31/2013 03:37am for the total amount of £4.95. We have also issued you an RMA number: XXXXXXXXXX  that you can use for future reference. If you have any questions about this notification or if you feel you are receiving this in error, please feel free to contact our Customer Service team.

From: Vita Cleanse <503@helpdesk.emailcenterpro.com>
Date: 10 September 2013 15:32
Subject: RMA Notification #XXXXX
To: XXXXXXXXX  

RMA Notification

Order Number: XXXXX Ordered on 08/31/2013 03:40am   Dear XXXXXXXXX, This email is to inform you that we have received your request to return your order of Vita Cleanse - Trial, which was originally purchased on 08/31/2013 03:40am for the total amount of £5.95. We have also issued you an RMA number: XXXXXXXXXXXXX  that you can use for future reference. If you have any questions about this notification or if you feel you are receiving this in error, please feel free to contact our Customer Service team.

The next day, 10 September, ma belle dispatched the returned products by the most expensive Next Day postal delivery (where the parcel had to be signed for on receipt}.

The company waited, however, until 1.28am on 10 October before sending      confirmation of cancellation.

From: Nutriberry Slim <502@helpdesk.emailcenterpro.com>
Date: 10 October 2013 06:28
Subject: Cancellation Notification #XXXXXX
To: XXXXXXX

Cancellation Notification

Order Number: XXXXXX Ordered on 10/10/2013 01:28am   Dear XXXXXXX, Thank you for using Nutriberry Slim - Rebill. This email is to inform you that your subscription status has been recently updated and any ongoing or all future charges have been cancelled as per your request. If you have any questions about the cancellation of this subscription, or if you would like to re-activate the same in the future, please feel free to contact our Customer Service team.

From: Vita Cleanse <503@helpdesk.emailcenterpro.com>
Date: 10 October 2013 06:28
Subject: Cancellation Notification #XXXXXX
To: xxxxxxxxxx@xxxxx>

Cancellation Notification

Order Number: xxxxxx Ordered on 10/10/2013 01:28am   Dear xxxxx, Thank you for using Vita Cleanse - Rebill. This email is to inform you that your subscription status has been recently updated and any ongoing or all future charges have been cancelled as per your request. If you have any questions about the cancellation of this subscription, or if you would like to re-activate the same in the future, please feel free to contact our Customer Service team.

When my beloved received a statement from her credit card company, today, she was dismayed to find that £84.99 (Nutriberry Slim) and £69.95 (Vita Cleanse) had been charged to her account on the 10 October despite the sample product having been returned one full month earlier. So much for the credit card personnel who assured her that the would block any such attempt to charge for a product which we neither receive or use!

This evening my extremely upset wife has had to contact her credit card company once more.

*********
*

*For more information concerning this scam visit http://www.dietpillswatchdog.com/nutriberry-slim-review/

you'd hardly believe it ...

www.stash-the-cash.com - it's well worth a visit!

the young visitor

this young sparrowhawk stopped by, Sunday lunchtime, for a rest on our summerhouse!

minor travel major travail

Just where is that emotional stamina hiding; come to that, it would be useful if I could uncover a resource for topping up my rather limited levels of the physical variety. After a short trip across the Pennines, about which more later, even my already constrained ability to concentrate on any sustained reading has gone into abeyance. At least I’m hoping it will return! No matter how much I enjoy looking out onto the garden, the heavily overcast and frequent rain-sodden days do little for one’s morale.

 

After a morning of extremely vividly disconcerting dreams, I finally felt sufficiently alert to remove myself from the bedclothes at around 11.15am, thirteen hours after availing myself of their embrace. As my beloved doesn’t go to her place of employment on a Wednesday it made the rest of the day more bearable. By about 4.30pm I felt it necessary to rest my eyes, at which point ma belle enquired whether I needed to lay myself down on the sofa. At the time it didn’t really seem at all necessary but, within half-an-hour my legs began to suffer a dull throbbing ache, feeling as if they’d been waterlogged.

 

Finally I had to admit my OH was right and, I really did need to lie down; no sooner had I reclined, in supine posture, than my wrists began their far too familiar nagging ache requiring a swift application of splint supports. Just another ordinary day!

 

                                                  ***

 

Now comes the report on that trans-Pennine journey, although, in terms of mileage, it was a short drive, to me the outward journey seemed a far too protracted arduous nightmare. Spastic colon, and acute diverticular discomfort set the tone of the adventure; within the parameters of a 70 mile route, I most urgently required a loo break on three occasions, the first of which required a diversion from the route we were travelling.

 

The SatNav redirected us, via the Old Skipton Road, across desolate sodden moorland. This route didn’t help at all as a kind of agoraphobic panic attack overwhelmed that attention which had previously focussed on my painfully aching abdomen. When we eventually arrived at the hostelry where we’d be spending the night, it was encouraging to see they had at least four draught ales on offer. As we approached our upstairs accommodation the heat in the hallway proved overwhelming, as was that which greeted us in the room.

 

That evening we attended a wedding party, the purpose of our visit, at a nearby Jacobean venue. On arriving at the venue, I managed ( whilst leaving the badly lit car parking space) to trip on a protruding step as ma belle and I sought the relevant hall entrance. The entrance was attained via an ill lit awning tent and, once again I tripped as my foot fell from the edge of the footway.

Not a good start; since my days as a union steward I’ve been well aware of health and safety issues, and the ill lit irregular causeway would certainly have been a major concern. As I’m prone to giddiness, and an associated fear of falling (such that I will only take a shower when my beloved’s around), I wasn’t able to relax at all.

 

Inside, the venue was disconcertingly sprawling and, we failed to find the quieter lounge. We spent best part of an hour, but seemed much longer, sat at a table in the bar area chatting with one or two family members. Just the noise of chatter became overwhelming; part of my illness means that I find it difficult to cope with crowds or noise so, really, I was in the wrong place. My total alcohol intake was less than half of the pint of ale I’d imagined I would enjoy.

 

Ten years on from succumbing to this condition (moderate Myalgic Encephalomyelitis), it becomes increasingly hard to understand that I once, not only coped with but, whole heartedly, enjoyed a quite gregarious lifestyle, pubbing, clubbing, politicking, wining and dining, leading  house groups and more!

 

Back at the inn, the landlady turned down the radiator at our request and supplied us with an electric fan and opened the skylight, the only window in the room, to allow some air to circulate. Most of the night was spent restlessly on top of the bed; music from nearby filled the air until 2.00am after which I became aware of the swoosh of traffic, presumably from the motorway. Further distraction was proffered in the form of other guests returning to the inn, as the floorboards groaned and roared their disapproval of human footfall. A worn out washer on the hot tap in our en suite, erratically appliquéd a kind of water torture onto the other aggravating layers of distraction.

 

Having missed out on food the night before, I was looking forward to breakfast but even this hope remained unfulfilled. Still feeling rather stressed, and upset by and commenting on my trip up experience of the previous evening, I interpreted a nervous smile from Helen’s brother as a sneer and duly threatened to deck him. At that point I quit the breakfast room.

 

Our journey back across the Pennines was a far happier experience, travelling predominantly on motorways advocated by the disembodied voice of the SatNav.

the space-hopper weighed down

A deep lethargic spirit consumes my very being; a lead weighted space-hopper would be about right as a description of my personage at 11.30 am. Last night was the worst of those seemingly endless, restless, nauseatingly painful nights that I’ve experienced in a long time. Don’t get me wrong, a disconcertingly discomforted restless night is currently par for the course, but last night was topped with added painfulness. Even my regular pre-emptive strike against nocturnal discomfort, amitriptylene and tramadol taken an hour or so before snuggling under the duvet, seems of little if any avail these days.

 

As I fitfully tossed, turned and squirmed au lit, post-nasal drip and gastro-oesophageal reflux added a further frustrating layer of dis-ease to the tenderness of cervical and axillary lymph nodes. Invisible clog dancers throbbed their way from armpit to elbow, elbow to wrist, before treating the rib cage as a xylophone. As I stretched my legs over the end of the mattress, my toes burnt as if they were being scrubbed with a wire brush. Once the nagging aches pulsed through my hands I decided to don my wrist splints which, somehow, seemed to gradually alleviate the pains in my upper arms.

 

Even the weather seemed to conspire against sleep, the roar of the wind was disturbingly amplified as I lay there, watching the flickering shadows which took on a somewhat threatening character in the darkened bedroom. An irrational childhood fear of the dark seems to have re-emerged recently, although it only applies to darkness within a building not in the great outdoors. Switching on a bedside lamp almost miraculously eased some of the bodily tension but, even then, only quite short snatches of sleep, from around 4.00am,were on the menu. It seems to be the rule that only unrefreshing sleep may be proffered to yours truly! The past couple of weeks have also seen an alarming resurgence of diverticular and spastic colon symptoms, no doubt contributing towards the sudden all enveloping exhaustion which erratically disrupts my daytime routine (or lack of such).

 

I am of course in that period of my life when I start to question how many of my ailments, or to what degree, they are symptoms of an ageing body as much as the manifestation of an underlying chronic illness?

 

Now, here’s the surprise. In spite of all the foregoing ailments I still manage to enjoy life, constantly amazed by the intricacy and complexity of the world around us, attempting to interpret one’s relationship not only to the earth and one’s immediate vicinity but, how we fit into the whole cosmic scheme. The joy that I gain by observing the sheer variety of flora and fauna, even just within the confines of our garden, still fills me with a sense of wonderment. That there is something, rather than nothing, into which we have been thrown, is cause enough for celebration; the love I share with ma belle Bright Light ultimately overwhelms a one time tendency of mine towards cynicism.

Changing Conditions

 

Sometimes conditions affect one in unexpected ways. I found it difficult to cope with the heat on the warmest of our summer days, flagging with fatigue after less than half-an-hour sat out in the garden, in the shade of a parasol. The only answer was to retreat into the house, draw the curtains, and switch on the
oscillating fan.

 

As daytime temperatures have cooled down, and an occasional chilly dampness returned to the equation, some of the old familiar aches and pains have decided to re-inhabit my corporeal being. This correlation of events, leads to a suspicion that these aching components are perhaps more to do do with arthritic and rheumatic twinges than the underlying neurological condition. No sooner have I proffered that suspicion than I recognised that a different interpretation was also plausible.

 

As more moderate temperatures returned, the temptation to tackle a few additional ‘light’ gardening and household tasks was all too easy to yield to. My main problem is a tendency to only listen to my body when I’ve almost drained my low stamina reserve. The trick of ‘pacing’ is to always keep a little stamina in reserve, otherwise any further exertion almost inevitably results in some kind of payback.

 

In the course of the past few days, a light giddily disorienting headache, accompanied by sudden onset pallor has been a recurring theme; my erratically disrupted sleep pattern (during my required dozen hours of bed rest) does little to alleviate such irritations. At other times the sense of being ill-at-ease within my own skin, a sensation that the skin is too tightly constricting the flesh of torso limbs and digits, proves grindingly nausea inducing.

 

I am thankful that, at present, the gnawing tenderness of glands under the jaw and in the armpits is only quite rarely experienced.

 

My beloved ‘Bright Light’ has been enjoying a holiday from the workplace, last week and this, but finds herself needing plenty of rest so, whilst I’ve always revelled in her company, we’ve been kept busy keeping an eye on each other, each making sure that the other doesn’t overdo things. My life has never felt so complete as it has in the time since meeting and marrying ma belle; her faith and loving disposition makes me feel privileged to know her.

rescue service

this little fellow was resting in the middle of our lawn (where predatory cats may visit despite our best endeavours to keep the garden feline free) – at first I wasn’t even sure if it was alive but, when I placed my hand in front of it almost rolled onto it and soon after extended it’s claws to grip my finger.

 I walked up to the birdbath with it on my finger thinking that it may need water and then put a little bird food in my hand hoping to tempt it to eat.

It was with great relief that I watched it, energy reserves replenished, fly swiftly on its way. Although I wouldn’t normally attempt to handle a free creature, the threat of it becoming a cat’s trophy seemed to justify  my intervention.

Mal murmurs again

My latest post -
down and out or up and at 'em -
can be found on 'Mal's Murmurings'

postscript to yesterday's tale of tribulation

this is a postscript to yesterday's post (avoiding an incompetence premium rate call)

                                                     *************

As the tracking page for my delivery (via Interlink Express) continued to display the unable to deliver etc. … call #..... to rearrange delivery message, throughout the day and into the evening, I began to think that my telephonic communication had been totally ignored.

When my beloved returned home from work, in the evening, she found an unable to deliver (as no one had been in) note attached to the outside of the external porch chez-nous. Why it was attached there only the driver knows as there is a letterbox on the external porch and on the main door into the house. Adjacent to the door is one of these new-fangled contraptions, namely a door-bell, the access to which is not restricted, as the door of the external porch is always open!

By this time I was feeling despairingly pissed off, emotionally and physically drained. We have numerous packages delivered each year and, with this one exception, the delivery person has been capable of entering the porch and either ringing the doorbell or knocking on the house door!

The message on the tracking page, by this morning, informed me that the package had been delivered to the local depot. As soon as the office opened at 8.00am my beloved phoned them to ask when we could expect delivery and was informed that it was in the process of being loaded and scanned then, after a further hour during which the status remained unchanged ma belle called them again only to be informed that it could be anytime up until 10.00am before the van was fully loaded! [Thoughts of the Tardis ran through my mind – an ever expanding chamber materializing within the confines of a transit van].

By some miracle, no doubt unaffected by our pestering calls, a couple of minutes later the delivery time (10.18 – 11.18) had been posted on the tracking board! This time the delivery went smoothly! By about 10.35 the parcel was received and duly signed for.

**************

Shortly afterwards a Royal Mail delivery brought us the item which had been omitted from yesterday’s parcel. … and they all lived happily ever after ….  

AVOIDING an INCOMPETENCE PREMIUM rate call

How wonderful I thought, a delivery company that actually gives a one hour time slot in which the item will be delivered! The company in question is Interlink Express and, the sense of wonderment soon evaporated.

 

For the second time this week I removed myself from the duvet lair at an earlier hour than would be the normal requirement and sat, patiently and quietly, awaiting the aforementioned delivery. The delivery slot given online was 08.56 to 09.56, and I sat waiting from 08.30 until 10.56 but, the delivery failed to materialize!

 

At this point I went back online to be told that they attempted to deliver but there was no-one there to sign for the parcel. Adding insult to injury they gave an 0844 number to call and a card number to quote (needless to say no physical card appeared chez nous. Fortunately I went online to saynoto0870.com and found a normal number to phone and simply ask them to put me through to INTERLINK EXPRESS. It turned out that it’s just as well that I didn’t use the 0844 number as I was put on hold for a few minutes whilst the operative attempted to contact the driver on his mobile.

 

They eventually said that the driver was now 1½ hours away so wouldn’t be able to come back and, the operative wasn’t authorized to give instructions. He admitted that the driver had gone to the wrong address but “that’s only human error” to which I responded that they have a postcode and a satnav so that’s no excuse. He further said that he would contact the depot and ask them to get the delivery ready for me pronto; once again he added that he could only ask them not instruct. Why have a helpline if the operatives don’t have any authority?

 

In marked contrast, a parcel despatched yesterday from a different company in SE England, this time by ROYAL MAIL (the company the government intends to eviscerate) was received at 11.30am this morning. Excellent service from ROYAL MAIL. The only thing was, the major item from this order had accidentally been omitted but the company assure me that I should receive it tomorrow (I’d have been really worried if they were using Interlink Express).

no more the adventurer

You’d think, by now, that I’d have learnt to pace myself, after all the theory is quite simple! All one has to remember is to keep some physical (and emotional) stamina in reserve; one has of course always to remember how much lower the energy reserve plateau is than it was pre-illness onset.

 

 Before I succumbed to this condition, (moderate ME), I would think nothing of walking to work, being on my feet most of the day, then coming home, going out to concert, gig, cinema, exhibition preview, attend house group, and later return home all on foot. Very few hours abed would serve to restore energy levels to the necessary level. Socializing always came easy, only rarely did any event attended / ambience prove at all stressful. Thankfully, I had no idea that this comfortable mode of being was going to be taken away from me, unless by the grim reaper.

 

Yesterday morning I’d reduced my bed rest time from 12 to 8 ½ hours, as we were expecting delivery and erection of our summerhouse, which had originally been promised for the 8^th July, and ours was the delivery team’s first drop/job timed for an 08.00 - 10.00 am slot.

 

I was already feeling a sense of giddy light-headedness, and general nausea inducing discomfort, before the delivery team were due to arrive. When they arrived, at around 9.00am, I went out to make sure that they were going to position the doorway, and windows in the required direction. They wondered whether I wanted it positioning in such a way that one array of windows would be running parallel to, and approx 2’6” away from the back of our prefabricated garden shed. I quickly put that right but I was also informed that they would need to chop a significant branch from a tree behind the base that we had prepared, and which had been inspected and approved by someone from the supplying merchant who made no mention of this requirement. [Obviously the base was inspected for suitability without any attention being paid to any other environmental factors which may impede the erection of the aforementioned building!]

 

By this time, the frustration of circumstance seemed to exaggerate both the nausea and the crushing disorienting sense of light-headedness. I reluctantly gave them the go-ahead to dismember parts of the tree before ‘phoning my beloved at her place of work; having informed my OH of how crap I was feeling and warned her that I would soon be likely to turn the air blue, she said she’d pop back to deal with any problems that may arise. No sooner had I put the ‘phone down, and started a necessary/essential period of rest on the sofa, than one of the workmen tapped on the door. They had noticed both mould and a split in the back section of tanalized timber, rending it unfit for purpose. At this juncture I let loose a string of invective concerning the company that they were working for and, said that as far as I was concerned they could take it all away, refund our deposit and give us a couple of hundred quid compensation for all the inconvenience we’d been put through. I also suggested, somewhat more measuredly, that they may as well wait for my OH to arrive and see what she thought.

 

Having taken away all the components of the summerhouse at ma belle’s request, they said that they would get the supplier to ‘phone her at work to discuss compensation and re-arrange delivery and erection of a building ‘fit for purpose’!

 

It was only after the kerfuffle had passed that I fully realized just how shattered I was. The (supposedly good) weather recently, above average temperatures, sunshine and cloying humidity, always play havoc with an already erratic body thermostat. Not only had I been deprived of necessary bed rest but, I was also receiving a degree of ‘payback’ for some minimal over-exertion in terms of cooking, domestic chores, entertaining and dining out with our special friends, Peter & Pamela, who had traversed the Pennines in order to see us at the weekend.

 

As I suggested earlier, what once I would have taken in my stride would now appear to be the most foolhardy kind of adventuring! 

 

 

*************

 

I commented on Twitter yesterday:

 

 this time the outpouring
of expletive laden invective
fails to alleviate
the nausea inducing malaise
- otherwise I'm OK!  

apologia

Yet another afternoon spent in the garden, this time in the shade of a parasol beside the pond.

 A couple of weeks ago I’d never have dreamt

of making such a statement having undergone an extremely protracted

autumn and winter of cold and damp weather,

  the wet aspect being but a pale reflection of last summer’s weather.

 In the course of the last couple of weeks we’ve been blessed

 with many warm sunshiny days which inevitably

turned ones thoughts and footfall towards the garden.

 

The preceding paragraph, or words to similar effect,

 were to have been the opening of a web log posting a fortnight ago but,

much to my surprise, I’ve now been able to spend

 even more time in the garden although the weather has once again became more changeable.

I’m still not able to cope with very warm humid atmospheres;

 it’s largely been a matter of choosing the appropriate times and circumstance

 to venture out. I’ve been taking a few snapshots of aspects of the garden’s flora and fauna and,

undertaken some gardening chores

without exerting myself beyond reasonable self-imposed* “pacing” limits!

 

On many occasions, feeling a little guilty

about neglecting the blog, I’ve settled down beside an inert keyboard

with every intention of resuscitating it

but the necessary emotional stamina seems to have been

in extremely limited supply.

 

++++++

 

 

*more honestly “health-imposed” but one likes to feel, to some extent,

in charge of one’s own destiny.

 

 

 

JUVENILES - house sparrows and starlings

Just a few of the juvenile house sparrows and starlings at the feeders in our garden

On Time, Joys, and minor Tribulations

I’ve asked it before, and it’s equally puzzling now but, just where does all the time go? I’m not talking physics or metaphysics, but rather that constant source of bemusement - to yours truly - that hours, days, months and years all pass so swiftly that I’m unable to find the time to even get started on any of the multiple tasks or projects I’ve been considering.

 

I deem myself very fortunate that I can still manage to appreciate, with an almost constant sense of wonder, that there is something rather than nothing; I still feel quite awestruck when I gaze at the panoply of stars in the night sky and contemplate the vast distances and time through which these illuminations occur. I am always amazed by the sheer variety of flora and fauna even within the constraints of our back garden.

 

It was wonderful to experience a few days of sunshine, and reasonable warmth, after the somewhat protracted spell of wintry weather; I even managed to do a little pottering about in the garden and extracted, with the aid of a PondVac, some of the aromatic mud deposit from the garden pond.

 

I also enjoyed sitting  and relaxing outdoors observing the avian activity. On one afternoon, having just watched a Red Kite gracefully riding the thermals above our garden, I noticed a few Redpolls visiting the Nyjer seed feeder – a first for our garden!

 

 

 

Last Thursday morning I attended the dermatology unit at Harrogate District Hospital for some minor surgery and, after several hold-ups en route, it was wonderful to get into the surgery on time. The whole procedure, preparation for and excision of a basal cell carcinoma from my chest (up towards the shoulder) and a biopsy sample taken from a lesion on my leg, took around forty-five minutes.

 

Unlike the time a carcinoma was excised from my back, when the dressing was kept in situ for several days and the stitches removed after 14 days, on this occasion I was told to remove the dressing after twenty-four hours and the ten external stitches to be removed after 10 days but, the one stitch on my lower limb is not be removed until 14 days have passed. I have to treat the wound two or three times a day with soft yellow paraffin which tends to adhere to my shirt or pyjama jacket. They also provided spare dressings for the small leg wound which is also protected by a tubular bandage from toes to knee.

 

I must admit that the chest/shoulder wound still feels somewhat tender and I’m having to be careful that I don’t stretch to reach anything with my left arm. Apart from that, I’m pretty well my usual frequently shattered self.