I really hate that sudden feeling of confusion, an un-preparedness to pursue that task or goal which, only a few moments before, you knew you were fully capable of fulfilling. It's not even anything out of the usual, perhaps even part of a regular routine, that suddenly becomes daunting. Even one's thoughts seem to be jumbled up, impossible to decipher.
Quite a while since I last experienced that but, yesterday, it suddenly hit me and I can't even remember what the task was that I either completed or cancelled. At lunch-time today it seemed more like a panic attack as I began preparation for this evenings meal; I'm rather pleased with myself that I was able to continue despite a sense of emotional exhaustion.
Glands, at side of my neck and under my chin, have been feeling a kind of sharp bruised tenderness for a couple of days now whilst my eyes have reacted with extreme sensitivity, spasmodically and hopefully very temporarily, towards any light source - a kind of sensory overload. Sudden waves of overwhelming exhaustion, as if something's achingly gnawing through my bones as well as muscles, serve to remind me of my quite routine state of being for months at a time during the past decade.
The bright side is that it has made me feel most grateful for a fairly sustained run of reasonably good days. I'm just hoping and praying that I'm not heading for a total relapse.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Wednesday, May 07, 2014
With ever increasing exposure to its spouting puce physiognomy, one can't help but feel that there is very little hope for those in society without the necessary wealth inheriting, tax avoiding, gene. This is a bold virus that strives to batter the economically unfortunate, and the disabled, into submission rather than replicating itself. Other viruses of similar status tend to thrive as bloodsuckers.
This particular virus emanated from Eton, transmitted via an Oxford-Bullingdon Syndrome, and is sustained through excessive exposure on BBC and some other TV channels.
Whenever this vile puce spouting physiognomy appears, my immediate response is an urgent desire to vomit, accompanied by an uncontrollabble explosion of expletives. Surely someone with a mature humanitarian conscience could produce an antidote for this pernicious disease.