Weakened Weekends and Travail Aids

Saturday evening is usually my major cooking time, when I prepare the meal for Sunday lunch-time, which usually also suffices for our needs on the Monday and, in variant form provides the main component of a further meal later in the week. This Saturday proved an exception, to the normal routine, as I was too achingly exhausted to attend to such matters.

Even Sunday morning found me too de-energised to make amends so, a frozen Sainsbury’s Chicken Tikka Masala for two served to fill the gap (admittedly it was more on the scale of an appetizer) accompanied by my specially prepared rice. As I usually prepare curries from scratch, this make do meal proved less than satisfying; it was rather like having a ketchup infused chip shop curry sauce with one or two thumbnail size pieces of meat (which could have almost passed for lumps in the gravy) by way of texture.

I’ll definitely try not to repeat this mistake but, I’m pleased I did not forego the BBQ on Saturday afternoon, held at a farmhouse on the Helperby Estate, the home of one of the doctors from the practice where Helen works. This minimal bit of socializing was the reason for my shattered-ness, and subsequent lack of culinary endeavour.

Apart from excellent company, and host provided musical entertainment, I also managed (with a little perseverance) to take some video footage of the House Martins paying fleeting visits to their eaves supported nests. In fact the video camera was frequently utilized in my attempt to catch the flavour of the occasion and, my SLR also came into its own for this purpose.

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Having partaken of our (excuse for) a Sunday lunch we ventured out to the retailer who had supplied the RAC satnav, which I bought back in May for Helen’s birthday, highly dissatisfied with it’s very limited database and the temperamental software which made it nigh impossible to succesfully download and install an essential update.

The assistant manager initially argued that the model we had purchased was “fit for purpose” providing it could get you to a destination, regardless of the fact that several long established addresses were beyond the scope of its database; it seemed to me a bit like saying if you bought a car and it made one journey successfully, after which it broke down, it was fit for purpose as you’d been able to get in and drive for that one journey! Despite my initial frustration with this explanation, he did demonstrate alternative means of searching its limited database and proved most helpful in our quest. The store manager admitted to the limitations of this particular model (other than for finding a city centre) and, allowed us to do an upgrade exchange for a better equipped ‘Tom-Tom’ model; I’d sooner pay the extra for something which more satisfactorily fulfils its intended purpose. As an easily un-nerved and discomforted / disgruntled traveller, the ‘Help Me’ function of the new device, clearly demonstrated by the assistant manager, should prove a great boon!

Downloading recommended updates this morning proved a doddle!

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On our return home, the contents of a pot of Fair-Trade filter coffee were eagerly consumed by ma belle et moi whilst sat beside the garden pond, a necessary pick-me-up! By this time I felt sufficiently energized to tackle a little maintenance work at the wildlife friendly end of the garden. Our hope and intention is that the whole of the garden is wildlife friendly but, I refer to the area of more rampant wildflower and shrub growth! I’m increasingly of the view that these “natural” areas of one’s estate take far more management than the cultivated ones! Ma belle busied herself tidying up elsewhere in the garden, managing to demonstrate her special gift for losing the implements which she has just been using on several occasions.

Mobile Double Dis-Service

From early next week all UK mobile numbers will be in a directory; anyone will be able to call you!

To unsubscribe before the beginning of next week go to: www.118800.co.uk and click on 'Ex Directory' at top right hand side of page. A code will be texted to your mobile to enable you to go Ex-Directory.

Unfortunately if you go to the site at present the Service has been suspended: message reads -

"Service suspended whilst we make improvements

'The 118 800 service for mobile phone connections is currently
unavailable - from this website and by phone - whilst we undertake major
developments to our 'Beta Service' to improve the experience for our
customers. We'll be back as soon as possible with the new improved
service.

All ex-directory requests made by people in our directory to date are
being processed. There will be no need to resend these requests. And we
will take further ex-directory requests when the service resumes. We
will not be taking ex-directory requests by phone or text whilst the
service is not operational.

Please do not call us on 118 800 for anything other than landline
directory enquiry requests as you will be charged for the call.

For other enquiries email us at contact@118800.co.uk or write to us at 118 800, PO Box 2747, Reading RG30 4ZQ

Sorry for any inconvenience caused."

I have tried e-mailing them at the contact address - contact@118800.co.uk in the hope that we can avoid yet another unwelcome dis-service.

As infrequent mobile users, strictly for emergencies, we are already subjected to unsolicited texts from 'Orange' our Service (?) Provider, I can only imagine the amount of "spam" we will be subjected to when the directory goes 'live'.

The Lightning Process Didn't Work For me

I really recommend this blog posting:

The Lightning Process Didn't Work For me

A refreshing account from a moderate ME sufferer of the methods employed by Lightning Process practitioners. Perhaps the process could help someone suffering from a depression related fatigue but not a real ME sufferer.

Prior to my current remission, as a moderate ME sufferer, my concentration span was frequently limited to a few minutes and, unless the room was darkened and a bed supplied for me to rest on, a few minutes of this positivity gobbledegook would have seen an immediate deterioration in my condition.

Negativity is not the cause of this neurological condition (M.E.) hence the whole premise of the process is invalid so far as ME is concerned.

Another Thread

A short posting, under the 'Commerce' category, A THREAD OF INCOMPETENCE, can be found on my 'Mals Murmurings' blog!

The Scandal of Privacy

So now we have a hacking scandal; the mobile ‘phones of celebrities and politicians have evidently been hacked by private investigators employed by staff of ‘The News of The World’. I don’t understand what’s so outrageous when, here in North Yorkshire, on our own doorstep at Menwith Hill we have a government condoned American spy base allowed to intercept all forms of telecommunication.

An occupation force is evidently allowed much greater freedoms than the so-called free press.

On Parole

Over the course of the past few weeks, great steps forward have been achieved! What I would have considered minute shuffles, in pre-illness times, now seem like immense strides in terms of progress. Increased activity levels have been only moderately counterbalanced by achingly exhausted collapses; the all too familiar roller coaster experience has been transformed into little more than a kiddies replica of the real thing.

Perhaps the greatest advance was a walk into town, the first time I’ve been able to manage that in almost six years and, more importantly, being able to cope with all the audio-visual experiences a town centre throws at one. This comes in the wake of throwing off a chemical lifebelt of anti-depressants, which were supposedly easing my anxiety / panic attacks!

An early morning dose of tramadol hydrochloride (initially prescribed on a more intensive basis to cope with the pain caused by a herniated disc) serves to alleviate the muscular stiffness and spasms which have long been my faithful companions. As a result I have been able to manage more short walks, on top of carrying out various tasks in the garden and my regular culinary activities.

Somehow, the advent of my full pensionable status seems to have coincided with an upturn in my general sense of wellbeing. Perhaps part of it is the newly found freedom from guilt on my better days; the thought that I should attempt a return to gainful employment is no longer part of my agenda. The expectation that I could have done so was totally unrealistic on account of the unpredictability of this condition. Even the re-invigorated Malcolm is still subject to the whims of an achingly exhausted body and, it would be foolish to ignore the more insistent corporeal demands for rest (unless a sense of masochism longed for a painful relapse).

Meantime, I simply give thanks for being paroled from the ME – CFS prison.

SENSATIONAL

I was just in danger of falling into that heard it all, done it all, seen it all trap (with and without the help of artificial aids) when something happened and, I’m stunned, breathless, excited and emotional.

The reason for this exhilaration; Crosby, Stills and Nash at Glastonbury 2009! Wow, what can I say, really I’m all shaken and stirred; I doubt if they’ve ever played a better set; blissful harmonies, smiling rhythms, steely leads and an overall spine-tingling, tear tickling (and stirring), celebration of what it means to be alive.

Yep, you’ve guessed it; I was impressed!

Thanks to BBC4 – I was there.

COMMON or GARDEN

Attaining Full Credentials

Last night, for the first time in many weeks, I experienced that sudden exhaustion whereby my aimlessly wilful lower limbs directed me, albeit falteringly, to the house’s upper floor in search of a bed. Object achieved, there came the inevitable collapse onto the nocturnal furniture. Just as night follows day, my body required the assistance of my beloved to carry out the task of its disrobing.

Some thirteen hours later I emerged from the soundest sleep experienced for months, or possibly even years. You might assume that, after this rest, I would be able to face the new day feeling totally refreshed; of course you’d be wrong. I don’t know if you’ve ever had the sense of your body being lined, internally, by a coarse felt sheet which has been (and still is being) subjected to a thumping hollow bruising affect! It’s my duty to inform you that it’s most unpleasant and, you have my sympathy if it falls within the range of your experience!

Anyway, unpleasantries out of the way, I can ignore other familiar ailments and move on to recent more positive experiences / activities. Having replaced a right angled absence on our front fence with a partial small pallet presence, I was able to utilize the base of this ‘new’ fence section as a mini-planter wherein I’ve placed a couple of small ivy plants. Further horticultural endeavours have been centred on the garden at the rear of the house, paying particular attention to the wildlife friendly arena. It’s most rewarding to view the results of previous years’ efforts which are gradually coming to fruition!

Monday of this week saw the celebration of my 65^th birthday, a special milestone as I am now a fully fledged pensioner! At lunchtime ma belle Helen and myself had a light lunch at a newly established local crêperie, Helen partaking of a goats cheese variety whilst I settled for the smoked salmon. As it’s a new venture, the accompanying drinks were free of charge, something most welcome in these financially straitened times!

From 7.00pm onwards, friends of ours called round chez nous, as and when convenient to themselves to partake of a birthday drink and toast the venerable birthday boy. As I’m not much for parties, and especially those of a more formal variety, this arrangement proved ideal. Having been incapable of much socializing, in recent years, it proved most enjoyable to play the (occasionally) sociable host. Although I have lost contact with several of my friends (those who failed to understand my health problems) since becoming an ME sufferer, it was great to know that I’m not totally forgotten! It’s my pleasure to report that a good time was had by all. Snacks and nibbles remaining from this event have made an interesting addition to our more routine diet, and of course we’ve had to make ourselves quaff the remaining wine from sundry open bottles.

The week has quite simply flown by as my beloved had taken the week off from work; time spent with ma belle amoureuse is always a pleasure, it’s remarkable to have a life so blessed!

Inquiry into vested interests - M.E. related

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to take up Gibson Inquiry into M.E. recommendation of a Public Inquiry into vested interests.

Please click on the link and sign this petition, it only takes a couple of seconds, - We are fighting to have our illness recognised.

http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/MEInquiry/#detail

The All Party Parliamentary Group's Gibson Inquiry into ME in 2006 came to the conclusion that it was highly inappropriate for psychiatrists such as Simon Wessely and Peter White et al to act as advisor's on illnesses like ME CFS for the Government and the DWP while working as consultants for the medical insurance industry for companies such as UNUM Provident. The insurance industry have a clear vested interest in classifying such illnesses as psychiatric conditions (despite the WHO classification of ME as a neurological condition ICD 10 G93.3) since they have to pay out less on policies.
The recommendations of the Gibson Inquiry called for an appropriate standards body to be set up to investigate these clear and alarming vested interests. This recommendation seems to have disappeared in a puff of smoke?

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We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to take up Gibson Inquiry into M.E. recommendation of a Public Inquiry into vested interests.

http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/MEInquiry/#detail

REMPEMREL

rempemrel - watercolour - Malcolm Evison 2009

After a bit of a struggle, I think that this painting is now finished - it's always difficult to know, especially so with the subject matter of this particular piece. It's an attempt to reflect an all too familiar ME-CFS pattern of remission, post-exertional malaise and relapse (hence the rempemrel title). At the same time I wanted the work to be affirmative - after all it's my life and I live with this rollercoaster pattern!

This posting also appears on Mal's Picturebox

Assuaging Guilt

Guilt wraps around me like a barbed wire glove. And what is the reason? Neglecting my blog! Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy keeping an online journal but, it’s rather like the diaries of my youth; a flurry of activity when the logging begins but, after a while it seems like a chore too far. When a pleasure becomes chore neglect seems like a sensible response but, guilt creeps around one almost as if one is acknowledging their own sense of failure.

There’s always plenty of news to share, should anyone be in the least interested, but the doing of events always seems preferable to their recording. So, why do I bother: a simple need to communicate from, but is this arrogance? Could it be quite simply that the opportunity is there, so why not use it? Perhaps I’m attempting to fill an unacknowledged, even unrecognized, void in my life. Should that be the case then, why should I feel guilty about recent neglect, surely that should be a cause for rejoicing!

Anyway, I’m now set to assuage my guilt; after all the primary reason for neglecting my little niche in cyberspace is that whenever stamina has permitted I’ve been too busily occupied in real space. The work of re-moulding the garden goes on apace; it’s amazing how much effort it takes to create a more natural wildlife friendly space. Apart from digging, planting, and removing, sundry nature’s artefacts, I’ve also been assembling a new bird table, and a rather rustic arbour seat (a marginally advance 65th birthday present) in the more (wilfully) overgrown area of the garden.

Although my familiar glandular and muscular aches and discomforts are always to be reckoned with, a recent acupuncture treatment (western localized style), on my back, relieved me of pains of which I’d previously been unaware, finally acknowledged by their absence. Hence the bout of activity, only interrupted by the unwelcome effects of post-exertional malaise.

Whilst the warmer, sunshine bright, days encouraged my out-of-doors presence, I also reacted rather badly to the hotter days – my erratic body thermostat being somewhat better adapted to more typical British Spring and Autumn temperatures. At least the arbour seat will offer me a little more shelter from the ravaging sun and, also enable me to spend a little more time enjoying the environment in less clement weather.

The garden has played host to a growing display of avian juvenile gapes, the young are still quite happy, even demanding, to be fed even after they’re more than capable of feeding themselves. I’ve lost count of the hours spent observing this behaviour, both from the comfort of the lounge and an appropriately placed garden seat beside the pond.

The feeding regime for the piscine inhabitants of both pond and aquariums provides a little structure to my otherwise erratically unstructured days. The only other structure is the preparation of meals in time for my beloved’s return from her workplace.

After all that build up, I’ve little else to say – or at least a running down of my stamina resource demands this hasty conclusion.

Gordon the Unlucky

So, it takes an American journalist (albeit a Nobel Prize winning economist and one of my favourite columnists to boot) to understand Brown's predicament and Cameron's lack of an alternative. It's a pity that Britain lacks columnists of this calibre.

"For much of the past 30 years, politics and policy here and in America have moved in tandem. We had Reagan; they had Thatcher. We had the Garn-St. Germain Act of 1982, which dismantled New Deal-era banking regulation; they had the Big Bang of 1986, which deregulated London’s financial industry. Both nations had an explosion of household debt and saw their financial systems become increasingly unsound."

"But here’s the thing. While Mr. Brown and his party may deserve to be punished, their political opponents don’t deserve to be rewarded.

After all, would a Conservative government have been any less in the thrall of free-market fundamentalism, any more willing to rein in runaway finance, over the past decade? Of course not.

And Mr. Brown’s response to the crisis — a burst of activism to make up for his past passivity — makes sense, whereas that of his opponents does not."


Paul Krugman - "Gordon the Unlucky", New York Times (8 June 2009)

The Early Years - Verse Autobiography

Mal's Remarkable Murmurings

It's still early in the morning and, I've already posted a blog, REMARKABLE, on 'Mal's Murmurings'.

Linked Reflections

The muse has been pestering me, a bit, recently. A new poem ON REFLECTION can be found on Mal's Factory and, a sequel A PALE REFLECTION on Archive Mined & Freshly Spun.

A Clever Breed

At first the observations are highly entertaining and, the object of the observations is a rather handsome brute. Before long he’s joined by some companions and, we continue to enjoy their antics; we’ve not usually had jackdaws visiting our garden and, after all, there’s sufficient food in the various trays for all the visitors, whether it be the ground feeders or the mounted ones.

Our most common visitors are quarrels of starlings, flocks of house sparrows, scurries of dunnocks and, this year especially, blackbirds. We also have not infrequent visits from blue and great tits, collar doves, wood pigeons and, at the top end of the garden, tree sparrows. We have a variety of hanging seed and fat ball feeders which once were the prerogative of the smaller avian species. Admittedly the starlings could make moderately short shrift of the fat balls but, up until now, they’ve not got the hang of the seed feeders.

To our surprise, the jackdaws are not only rapidly demolishing and devouring the contents of the fat ball feeders but, some of this species have developed the agility to manage even the trickiest of the hanging seed feeders. Their learning process has been at almost lightning speed; at least the seed feeders are a bit too fiddly for them to empty swiftly but, the fat balls are now going down at an alarming rate of eight fat balls per day.

This afternoon, I’ve tried filling a spherical peanut feeder with the fat balls; this will hopefully thwart the jackdaws’ ambition to eat for England!

Frivolously Serious

All Fall Down - what's to become of us?

I'm becoming increasingly concerned about goings on at the Palace of Westminster and, especially, the forthcoming proposals to rid the house of corrupt politicians. It's truly worrying when I think about it, getting rid of corrupt MP's.

After all, if we get rid of all the corrupt politicians there'll be nobody in the house who understands standard business and commercial practises!

Mal murmurs about the garden

Todays small domestic blog post, pretentiously (and probably incorrectly) titled 'avant moi le deluge', can be found on 'Mal's Murmurings'

Verse Autobiography

BIRTH OF AN ALIEN - A work in progress.

The three poems (or three parts of one poem), still in draft form, are of necessity laid out consecutively; ideally (though impossibly) they should be read concurrently as each covers much the same early period of the individuals life.

Autobiography is a new verse game for me but, I would appreciate any comments on the work so far.

The work in progress, BIRTH OF AN ALIEN, can be found on MAL's FACTORY

Stop The Bloodbath

Hi,

50,000 innocent civilians are caught in the deadly crossfire of Sri Lanka's civil war. This raging battle is the last phase of a 26 year fight for Tamil independence on the small Asian island to the east of India. Over 1000 people were killed in just 48 hours last weekend.

Sri Lanka's largest donor and major ally in the region, Japan, has the power to help put an end to this unfolding human catastrophe. That is why I've just written to Foreign Minister Nakasone urging Japan to insist that Sri Lanka's government and rebel groups ensure the safety of the civilians. Sending a message takes just a minute and can help to save lives. Please join me in clicking this link:

http://www.avaaz.org/en/stop_the_bloodbath/98.php?CLICK_TF_TRACK

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Here's the original email from Avaaz:

Dear friends,

A modern day bloodbath is unfolding on the small island of Sri Lanka, where a thousand civilians were reported killed over the weekend and tens of thousands of innocent people are literally at risk of being killed this week as government and rebel forces battle it out over the last small patch of rebel held territory.

Now that the US has begun to increase its pressure, the key to stopping this humanitarian disaster lies with Sri Lanka’s most significant donor and closest partner in the region -- Japan. It has powerful political and economic influence over the Sri Lankan government and a swing vote at the UN Security Council, which up until now has turned a blind eye to this mounting catastrophe.

Click here to send a message to the Japanese Foreign Minister, who is deciding his government's next steps. Japan cares about its international reputation and a flood of messages from abroad would encourage them to act. If Japan moves then the Sri Lankan government will be forced to immediately respond to protect civilians:

http://www.avaaz.org/en/stop_the_bloodbath/98.php?CLICK_TF_TRACK

As last weekend´s carnage testifies, every minute counts for the estimated 50,000 civilians still trapped inside the shrinking conflict zone and for those 200,000 more who are barely surviving in overcrowded camps. The International Committee of the Red Cross, which rarely makes public comment, called this conflict between the Sri Lankan government and the Tamil rebels, 'nothing short of catastrophic'.

Until now, the divided UN Security Council has abdicated their responsibility to protect Sri Lankans from war crimes and other atrocities. But in this conflict Japan cannot be ignored – its powerful voice could tip the balance and influence the conflict dynamics, saving lives in the short-term and promoting peace and development in the long run.

Asia's longest-running civil war is entering its final stage – the only question is how many will die before it ends. Let´s send a powerful message urging Japan´s Foreign Minister to act responsibly and lead international efforts to push the Tamil rebels to release the remaining civilians, stop the government bombing and bring sustainable peace to Sri Lanka. Japan's political and economic weight means that they cannot be ignored:

http://www.avaaz.org/en/stop_the_bloodbath/98.php?CLICK_TF_TRACK

As other donor nations increase the pressure behind the scenes this week, a truly global citizens' outcry can further turn the heat on the Japanese government to use its leverage and push for a robust and concerted international action that stops the bloodshed and protect the Sri Lankan civilian population at risk. Thank you for sending your message today.

With hope

Luis, Brett, Alice, Graziela, Pascal, Ben, Ricken, Paula, Iain, Paul, Raj and the rest of the Avaaz Team

Freshly Minted

Yesterday evening I posted a brand new poem - WINDSWEPT - on both Mal's Factory and Archive Mined & Freshly Spun.

New Painting

A photograph of my most recently completed watercolour, SPRING BURST, can be found on MAL's PICTUREBOX (Paintings and snapshots by Malcolm Evison).

A furthe posting for today, A WELCOME IS EXTENDED?, can be found on 'Mal's Murmurings'.

Seasons In The Sun

Sometimes, the weather makes one’s “pacing” easier; at others it proves the worst adversary. Recent days have seen a clear demonstration of this; a spell of dry sunshiny weather found me out in the garden, eager to tackle a number of overdue tasks and, even to feel inspired to make further modifications. When you can manage a little task it just feels so good, the morale is boosted and, one feels quite virtuous at having attained something that, in one’s lower de-staminated times, certainly seemed a task too far.

Experience has taught me the importance of retaining some energy, rather than go flat out to tackle the job in hand but, the temptation’s always there to do a little bit more. Surely one can manage that extra little exertion? Nine times out of ten I could; problem is, that extra little exertion is the proverbial straw that flattens the hump.

Five minutes more effort can mean several days painfully laid low, aching and feeling tortuously bruised in places one can’t imagine anyone having a name for; in fact, one has temporarily lost the ability to name even the familiar places. At these times, one wishes the world would end and, stamina permitting, one screams out the words that many hangover sufferer may utter the morning after, “Never again!”

Of course, at the weekend my beloved is around to keep an eye on me; she certainly doesn’t want to deal with the aftermath and, at times seems more aware of my limitations than I, in my better days, am capable of acknowledging.

Come Monday, the rains had arrived, drastically curtailing any desire to do a little more pottering about in the garden – guilt free, I’m able to take things easier! Wednesday afternoon, the sun breaks through in glorious splendour and the impulse to go forth and till the fields grows strong.

I settle for something a little strenuous and, transplant a few tomato seedlings, from the windowsill propagator into pots ready for placement in the greenhouse. Although not excessively hot, a little time in the sunshine coupled with a moderate exertion proves overpowering. The glow of satisfaction, at another little task completed, is counterbalanced by a tediously frustrating shattered-ness. In this instance the weather proved both friend and foe.

I can only give thanks for all the things I can manage and, a new preparedness to listen to my body.

HIDDEN MESSAGES

Sunday lunchtime, a newspaper falls through our letterbox, it arouses our curiosity. Three sub-teen girls are going along the road, folding and delivering the aforementioned news sheets. I smile and think that’s it’s perhaps the periodical paper produced by the county council and the children are enjoying their little job, helping mum and dad out.

My beloved gets up from the table and brings the ‘literature’ through to the dining room. “It’s about green policy”, she reports. Sure enough, the bold headline news is ‘Protecting our local green belt’, not quite the kind of green policy I anticipated. I then glanced at the newspapers header which read ‘Harrogate & Knaresborough District News’ subtitled ‘Delivered free by your local Conservatives to over 40,000 homes’. So instead of a newspaper we have a propaganda sheet.

They certainly start them young on the propaganda trail, these Tories. A sudden disclosure flashes across my mind as the very young children go about their Sunday job, delivering these sheets of waste paper; Tories plan to re-introduce child labour.

I think about this for a couple of minutes, concerned about the corruption of innocent children for party political ends. I think a little bit more about it and, the realization dawns that they have to utilize the very young as anyone older, and with a modicum of intelligence, will remember the disastrous socially divisive policies of the Thatcher era. (Sadly, Blair and his ilk corrupted Labour, transforming itself into New Labour, by adopting the same monetarist policies; the very policies that led to the global financial meltdown).

How could one forget the Saatchi brothers inspired Tory campaign, which brought about their election victory at the end of the 1970’s, showing a dole queue under the banner heading ‘Labour Isn’t Working’. At that time unemployment was reaching the one million mark, within a couple of years Thatcher had transformed that into more than 3 million unemployed. They attempted to massage the figures by placing people onto different welfare benefits but the exponential growth of the unemployment figures continued, even excluding those numbers (in reality people) surreptitiously ignored!

I remember too the Poll Tax riots, which led to a U-turn in the policy of the Lady who was not for turning. Self-interest, greed, “no such thing as society”, was the legacy that Conservative regime bestowed upon the country. A legacy of broken lives and self-centred individualism is their proud claim.

But, the message I received yesterday was their readiness to re-introduce child labour.
Cameron and his ilk attempt to portray a conservatism with a human face but, the truth is that Thatcher’s cohorts will be disclosed once that veneer receives the least scratch. Tory ideas, practised by New Labour, helped to get us into the current difficulties, why should anyone trust the real full-blooded instigators of this change to rescue us!

A Teddy Bear Substitute

They walk around self-obsessed; poor dears, they probably can’t help it. All those around them may as well not exist or, perhaps for these teddy bear bearers the only reality is themselves, the contemporary solipsistic tendency.

Wherever they go they chatter to their teddy bear, without whose presence their life would apparently be totally devoid of meaning. It’s quite strange how far the teddy bear, like the comfort blanket, has metamorphosed to meet the requirements of the discerning contemporary solipsist.

Of course I may be wrong; the problem may not be solipsism but, rather a total lack of manners. They wander around town, out in the countryside, in supermarkets, DIY stores, chattering away to their teddy bears. I suspect that these transmogrified teddy bears are extremely hard of hearing as it always seems to be the case that their owners have to raise their voices to reassure themselves that these pieces of plastic understand. I know they must be some kind of teddy bear; one can tell, by their owners whole demeanour, that the whole universe would fall apart without this faithful toy. Indeed, some owners have developed a technique whereby they can cuddle the toy under their chin, should hands be required to tackle some other task in their solitary universe.

Oft times, one may witness these sadly deluded people persist in stridently chattering to their plastic toy as they load up their shopping baskets, present the baskets at the till without uttering a word to, or exchanging a glance with, the till-operator. I was brought up to believe that such behaviour was the height of rudeness; perhaps their solipsistic outlook should make me feel more tolerant towards them.

It was quite a surprise to me when I finally discovered that this inanimate object, around which their entire existence seemed to revolve, had actually been called a ‘mobile phone’. Still, it certainly seems to have become a substitute teddy bear or comfort blanket.

I only wish it had been a dummy substitute; at least with their mouths filled I wouldn’t have to listen in to their hysterical shouting!

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This posting also appears on Mal's Murmurings

tempus fugit - carpe diem

Doesn’t time fly by when one has nothing to do? Maybe I should correct that; one can usually find plenty to do but, time is always too short, especially when one has no fixed agenda.

There was a song, “Who Knows Where The Time Goes”, to which I always wanted to respond, “don’t ask me; it’s one of life’s little mysteries!” Mind you, there have been occasions when time seemed to hang like a leaden pendulum, especially when working as an accounts manager and we suddenly changed from old fashioned double entry book-keeping to a purpose built computerized system. Whereas on the one hand it was a much quicker process, much time was spent twiddling the thumbs, whilst we awaited the snail-mail delivery of our weekly printouts from the mainframe situated some ninety miles away.

Where once a simple glance at the ledger would show where any discrepancy had occurred, thanks to new technology, we now had to trawl through sheaths of lined paper filled with endless repetitions. Don’t get me wrong, accounts work was never mine by choice but rather a means of sustaining me whilst I got on with the important things in life. In those days, the only time that flew by was those hours outside of the office ones!

Later employment, working for the museums and art gallery service, both front and back of house, proved much more rewarding (even if somewhat less lucrative). Once the opportunity arose, not infrequently, to get on ones hobby-horse, time passed as if it had a rocket assisted launch. Even my last paid employment as a caretaker/steward at a thriving parish church, where I frequently toiled well beyond the appointed hours, saw the hours float away!

Nothing to do? I’ve been thinking about that, as my digits stray across the keyboard on auto-pilot: there’s always too much to do, especially the tasks for which I possess neither the necessary physical or emotional stamina! Stamina and intermittent brain-fog permitting, I can get on with my writing, watercolour painting, amateur website building etc, tending to the aquarium and pond inhabitants needs (sometimes not as frequently as I ought to – a missed filter clean/change here and there seems to occur due to lack of time and focus) and general pottering around in the garden.

I even manage to fit in the occasional socializing visit to ‘Open Church’ or ‘Café Culture’, events which health reasons had deprived me of for a rather prolonged period of time. One of these days, I may regain sufficient stamina to go to a gig or concert which was at one time a fairly regular part of my life.

I am extremely grateful for all that I can manage although still succumbing to bouts of frustration regarding the many things that I can no longer manage. Fortunately, “pacing” imposes itself on me when otherwise I would be tempted to return to the old boom and bust cycle. It’s almost as if my self-discipline now disciplines me.

Who knows where the time goes? I don’t really care, we only have one life and we’d better make the most of it!

Exporting Gun Crime

""I continue to believe that we can respect and honor the Second Amendment rights in our Constitution, the rights of sportsmen and hunters and homeowners who want to keep their families safe, to lawfully bear arms, while dealing with assault weapons that, as we know, here in Mexico, are helping to fuel extraordinary violence. Violence in our own country as well. Now, having said that, I think none of us are under the illusion that reinstating that ban would be easy."

In other words: Our president can deal with all manner of big problems, but the American gun lobby is just too strong to let him push a rational and limited gun regulation through Congress.

It's particularly infuriating that Obama offered this statement of powerlessness just a few days before today's 10th anniversary of the massacre at Columbine High School in Colorado -- and just after a spree of mass homicides across the United States took the lives of least 57 people.

No other democratic country in the world has the foolish, ineffectual gun regulations that we do. And, unfortunately, what Obama said is probably true.”

Who will face down the gun lobby? – E. J. Dionne Jr - WashingtonPost

Gaza aid being blocked by Israel

Gaza aid being blocked by Israel, says reporter


Thousands of tons of humanitarian aid intended for the people of Gaza are sitting at the Egyptian border because Israel has not authorized them to pass, says a freelance journalist on the spot.

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Source URL:
http://www.ekklesia.co.uk/node/9204

AVIAN CONNECTIONS

Although the weather has been somewhat changeable, I’ve been able to spend a bit of time out in the garden. Whilst in the garden I’ve acquired a new and unexpected friend, who I’ve christened “Blackie”; I know it maybe shows a lack of imagination but the friend in question is a male blackbird who seems to spend an awful lot of time alone.

Whenever I venture out, he’s usually sat on the fence or the greenhouse roof; when he’s hungry he places himself in the middle of the ground feeder whilst nodding in my direction. So I pop back in the house to get a handful of sprinkles and, he stays in situ whilst I scatter them on the feeder tray.

Today when I ambled up to the more wildlife friendly area of the garden, he followed me hopping on to various shrubs and the fence. I always try to proffer a friendly greeting, perhaps it’s the tone of voice rather than the words used that matters, and we exchange a few sucked sibilant “tt,tt,tts” in full recognition of each others presence.

Each time I venture out and he presents himself (like an over zealous friend) in very close proximity, I’m almost overwhelmed by an amazing sense of privilege. Strangely, or perhaps not so strange, he’s a bit more wary of my beloved but she still delights in my enjoyment of the relationship.

Pronghorn evolution : a matter of fact?

The voiceover tells us, matter-of-factly, that the Pronghorn evolved to outrun the now extinct American Cheetah [Yellowstone - BBC2]! How do they know? Surely this is hypothesis rather than fact; isn't it possible that the Cheetah failed to evolve fast enough to be able to catch the "fastest antelope in the world" or to vary its dietary requirement to devour other fauna in the region? Presumably, long before it became extinct, this species of Cheetah had occasionally found something to feed on!

Dichotomy - IAIYH

I've just had a Damascene conversion; I now realize that this ME thing is all in my head.

My head keeps telling me that I ought to be able to do things (after all six or seven years ago it was no problem!). Of course, my body tells me in a most excruciating manner that I'm not able to do those things. The head starts grieving for the limitations of the body, the restrictions on any socializing that I used to enjoy etc.; so I try to exert myself a little more, the effects a couple of days later are devastating.

There must be something wrong with my head, it has the false belief that I ought to be able to manage these things!

Suddenly the remembrance, from long ago days when I studied philosophy, you can't derive an "ought" from an "is". Then I knew that my head was wrong, it's just a bad philosopher. I may still have ME but, I'm not going to let my head make me feel guilty about it!

Send your message to G20 world leaders

New post on "Mal's Murmurings"

My latest posting, "Weather Impromptu", can be found on Mal's Murmurings

Running the settler gauntlet : Guardian

"The children flew along the torturous gradients as nimbly as the gazelles we'd encountered earlier on the trail, and – to the untrained eye – the walk through the stunning South Hebron Hills would have appeared utterly calm and carefree. However, that the pre-pubescent players required our accompaniment at all belied the seemingly benign nature of our journey. Were it not for the presence of the international activists, the likelihood of the children coming under attack from nearby settlers would have been too high to risk them setting off for Tuwani from the neighbouring hamlet of Tu'ba. "

Seth Freedman - 'Running the settler gauntlet'.



http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/mar/16/israel-palestine-tuwani-west-bank-settlements

Facing The Void

Perspiration comes at the flick of an invisible switch, trigger factor unknown; unfortunately inspiration refuses to disclose itself. Yes, the body’s thermostat is playing up as usual but, the mind seems to have just stopped functioning altogether. I find myself staring at a blank screen, expecting something, hopefully in a verbally understandable form, to appear. A sense of vacant distraction seems to be the present role-play in which my mind sits uneasily.

I just wonder could it be the lack of caffeine, since last Friday’s doctor’s order, which leads to this almost perfect lack of stimulation. I’ve even sunk back into the nicotine habit, by way of compensation for this absence; I suspect that isn’t what the doctor had in mind. It may be slightly better if I only knew what this decaffeination process was in aid of; which of the multiple ailments, my psychosomatic being endures, will be alleviated by this exclusion from my dietary regime. It almost seemed like an afterthought when my GP threw out this proscription just as I was about to leave the surgery!

Perhaps it will take time before any benefit is realized, if nicotine poisoning hasn’t already undone any prospective benefit. At present I’m all too well aware of an aching void of boredom, taking the place of tearful frustration.