APPLYING THE BRAKES - To Keep Moving Forward

Or perhaps, the heading should have read reducing the number of revs. Today was my second visit to Julie, the Occupational Therapist in the Chronic Fatigue Unit. We were trying to sort out whether my preference would be for “plateauing” or continuing “boom and bust” at a somewhat contained level. Initially, and as I wrote these words, I felt that the preference must be for the plateau approach as, for all I love and enjoy my brief bursts of energy, I totally loathe their all too frequent painfully washed out aftermath. Julie already recognizes the ease with which I can enter into a state of “bored restlessness” so arrangements are going to be something of a compromise.

First I must find the plateau before I can gradually start to raise the bar; the plateau is at far lower altitude than it would have been three years ago, and gully scrambling when I reach the foot of an adjacent mountain is out of the question. As a starter on my quest, my aim is to find a regular walking circuit (on fairly level ground) and, attempt to walk it at least three times per week. The brisk element of my fairly brief walks is a no-no; this is where the brakes are to be applied! The route I follow should be of about 20-30 minutes duration at a slow/steady speed. This steadiness of pace is going to prove difficult some days, I already noticed that a slower pace does not come easily to me, as I strolled back to the car with my beloved following the consultation; even when I have no choice in the matter (and the limbs can only move in low gear), I tend to become intensely frustrated but … for the moment … discipline is all.

The wonderful, occasionally stressful, breathing exercises which I sometimes managed to discipline myself into, are there as a reserve toolkit in case of entering into potentially stressful / panic provoking situations. Deep breathing is far preferable to hyper-ventilating!

I move slowly towards my goal; the goal is yet to be determined!