and suddenly ....

And suddenly the floodgates open, not a result of any dramatic trauma more like tripping over the everyday! A renewed period of feeling below par, even by my own undemanding standards, inevitably gnaws away at ones self-esteem. Whilst I have so much to be thankful for I still can’t avoid feeling guilty for the restrictions my own health problems place on my beloved.

Today, just ma belle’s suggestion that we go for lunch to the local café was sufficient to set the tears a-flowing; we both enjoy our visits to Café Culture but, with the recent return of quite excruciating pains to my lumbar region, I felt I would be much more comfortable staying at home. Almost immediately the pangs of guilt set in as I felt that my not feeling up to dining out was simultaneously denying my beloved the pleasure.

In recent weeks I’ve been spared the (formerly routine) aches and spasms of the lower limbs, feeling that at least part of me is finally on the mend but, the pains in the arms – starting as if a sustained attack (in vicinity of the elbow) is being made on the funny bone, before gnawingly boring into the armpit and, at other times a nausea inducing ache in the wrist travels slowly up the arm – seem to have increased in frequency as if by way of compensation.

The simple task of removing the ornamental rock from our main aquarium, in order to remove the excess algae, on Monday afternoon, led in turn to painful pulled muscles around the right shoulder blade which subsequently seem to have joined forces with more acute pains in the small of my back.

And suddenly ….  I play the wimp again!