and so it goes ...

For the past few weeks my health, and emotions, have been on something of a roller-coaster ride; it’s difficult enough living with chronic-illness / chronic pain but, when more mundane bugs (doing the rounds) place an additional burden on one’s already low stamina reserves, an unwelcome veneer of despair enters the frame. Fortunately, these more mundane viral attacks tend to dissipate after a couple of weeks, but never before time.

Exhaustion still seems to hold control of the reigns, even when one is experiencing an apparently more alert and energized spell. As agonizing pain & exhaustion takes control so one’s temper frays and, against one’s better judgement, expletives tend to fill the air.

This evening the pain in upper limbs, joints and lymph nodes, has defied the efficacy of 100mg of tramadol. Malcolm is not a happy bunny but, still manages to put on a brave smiling face in an attempt to deceive himself. More happily, I am still fortunate enough to be capable of deriving tremendous enjoyment from a catholicity of music, DVDs, poetry and paintings.

random onset - chronic & acute

This happens far too regularly and yet, it still catches me unawares, a total surprise. This afternoon, just relaxing with my faithful pooch laying beside me on the sofa,, when a sudden griping, annoyingly discomforting, ache in the armpits, brings back the feelings of nausea. Shortly after this griping ache a throbbing pain takes over my elbows, whilst wrists ache in a manner similar to carpal tunnel syndrome.

Sometimes the application of elbow and/or wrist supports serve to alleviate the nausea sensation and, the throbbing aches gradually subside; on other occasions even opioid painkillers fail to dispel the more severe discomforting pain. Quite frequently the armpit pain occurs when I’ve been holding a tabloid size newspaper or a tablet PC for more than a few minutes; when this occurs I have to discard my cardigan as the armpit seems overly constricted but application of a shoulder support, which settles more tightly in the armpits, can sometimes alleviate the discomforting pain.

                                             ******

The first two paragraphs were written on two separate days, the usual problems, as described above, prevented me from spending sufficient time on the laptop to rediscover the document so far. I’m managing to keep posting to my twitter feed and almost keeping up with facebook posts, primarily via tablet, but concentration tends to dissipate as soon as the aches and pains begin.

Today the armpit pain came on more acutely, even though I wasn’t holding either newspaper or tablet. Donning of a shoulder support which fitted quite tightly in the armpit did distract me from the initial acute pain but, within a minute it was necessary to don wrist and palm supports to alleviate an intense, tear inducing, discomforting pain in my wrists. It was necessary, today, to resort to a couple of 50mg Tramadol.

I realize this may be much ado about nothing but, it may help to explain the paucity of posts from yours truly.

Lifes little trials - always at the ready

And today the giddiness /vertigo returned (see post ‘The Eye of the Storm’ http://sinnaluvva.blogspot.com/2018/08/the-eye-of-storm-of-health-non-well.html ), the top half of my head apparently heading for the ceiling as my legs quiveringly collapsed me back onto the sofa. Torso, arms, hands, and feet shivered whilst legs trembled, in some kind of fearfully panicked response. Of course, my spastic colon ensured the lavatory was flushing overtime; strange how life’s little ailments never seem to attack alone!

These events occurred just when I’d been quietly celebrating the overcoming of a wretched cold, which I’d had to endure for three weeks. There seems to be a lot of bugs about this year, perhaps there always are but, we only become aware of them when we join the legions of fellow sufferers.

Today I was fortunate to get an urgent appointment with a nurse practitioner and, she was able to arrange an appointment for tomorrow with Dr Desha who will apply the Epley manoeuvre to treat BPPV(to try and shift the crystals in the inner ear, which are apparently a cause).

Freshly posted illustrated poem on Mal's Factory

I have just posted A Piscine Ploy - Illustrated poem on Mal's Factory -
painting & illustration both by yours truly!

http://malsfactory.blogspot.com/2018/09/a-piscine-ploy-illustrated-poem.html

FAKE NEWS = British MSM

A Long Night's Journey Into Daze

By last evening, the efficacious application of sundry supports, and a small opioid dose, had brought me back into a more at ease body to contain my soul and mind. So far all was going well and an hour before my proposed bedtime I took 30mg amitriptyline along with 50mg tramadol to, hopefully, pre-empt a bout of restless legs, throbbing knees, and ultra-sensitivity in my toes.

Well, shall I let you in to a little secret; the pre-emptive strike was a dismal failure on this occasion. Within half-an-hour, of laying under the duvet, my knees were attacked by a sharp throbbing ache which, apparently, demanded of my unconscious that they should be flung out from the side of the bed in a way that switched between an unsupported taut outward stretch and, a limp folding at the knees, as calves crashed against the divan base drawers with toes trailing on the floor.

I frequently attempted to change my sleep preparation posture, laying first on one side then the other, laying on my back, on my front, and sundry intermediate stages. Suddenly, the ultra-sensitivity of my toes added to the problem; regardless of whether top, bottom or side of my toes made contact with the bedding a chinese-burn sensation caused an unpremeditated jolt of my lower limbs. After two-and-a-half hours of variable intensities of discomfort there was little chance of an imminent visit to the land-of-nod, so I picked up my tablet pc, plugged in headphones, and caught up with a couple of TV programmes. Six hours after succumbing to the lure of the duvet realm a couple of hours of light sleep took over.

A mid-morning entry into the clothed arena didn’t seem to offer much improvement. After ten minutes browsing a magazine my wrists began to ache, swiftly followed by the hollow ache emanating from the armpits. Wrist, elbow and shoulder supports were gradually donned with little sign of the discomfort easing. A dose of tramadol seemed to take for ever to kick in; a generalised discomfort hadn’t settled until some time after my beloved had returned from her preaching appointment but, unlike the previous Sunday I was able to finish dinner preparations and really enjoyed the fruits of my labours.

mutual aid society - Malcolm & Piper

Throughout the morning’s persistent discomfort, and distress, our devoted hound, Piper, never strayed far from my side, snuggling up alongside me in a truly therapeutic manner; without him my screams of frustration would have been considerably louder.

a piece of heartfelt light verse - audio

All Strapped Up and Still it Won’t Go

Some days, when everything’s apparently going smoothly, a familiar recurring symptom comes almost as a surprise. Quite what causes the symptom is a bit of a puzzle but, that doesn’t make it any less real or disconcerting. What I’m really talking about is a cluster of inter-related aches, pains and intense discomfort.

After using a tablet PC, laptop, or even holding a newspaper whilst I surf / read for just a few minutes, a nagging hollow-ache or tenderness in the armpits develops. That discomfort in itself induces a sensation of nausea. Sometimes applying elasticated supports to my elbows alleviates the immediate nausea but, far too frequently, the armpit ache is followed by pains in the wrist which may respond to the application of wrist supports. Normal, over the counter, analgesics don’t touch the pain or acute discomfort and, I often rely on a discomforted time of rest with upper-arms clamped tightly to the torso whilst forearms are stretched behind my back. Other times a 100mg dose of tramadol has proved efficacious.

                          shoulders, wrists & elbows all strapped up but still it won't go 

I only wish I could find a way to pre-empt this acute discomfort but, the only way to play it safe would be to never attempt to hold a book, paper, tablet, use a laptop, or write anything down on paper. That I will not yield to!

The Eye of the Storm – of health & non-well-being

The general state of my joints, muscles and general viscera this morning (Tuesday) could best be described as disconcertingly enervated. At least last night granted me a little more sleep, albeit rather unrefreshing, than was the case on Sunday night. On the latter hangs a story.

****

The story continues from my previous post.

Thursday morning I duly attended my appointment with a locum doctor at my usual GPs practice. The symptoms of either-or/ both-and gall bladder and diverticular infection weighed heavily on body, mind and spirit; either cause being an additional concern on top of my familiar chronic illness symptoms.

The doctor had me lay down as he proddd and poked my abdominal region, frustrated by my inability to either be or feel relaxed. When I started to sit up, post-examination, I was overwhelmed by an extremely acute vertigo type attack. Either the room, or the top of my head, spun violently around and a sensation of either falling to the bottom of a vortex, or that base/floor rushing up towards me, made me feel quite faint and nauseous. The GP advised me to lie back down for a few minutes before attempting to sit-up again. Next attempt at sitting upright produced the same sense of disequilibrium as I felt forced to throw my torso back down. A few more minutes rest were required as my heart rate was greatly elevated.

Once a degree of stability was restored the physician seemed to then ignore these vertiginous episodes as he prescribed a course of antibiotics for suspected diverticulitis. He added that I had no immediate need to obtain the prescribed medication unless the smptoms intensified. By Saturday lunchtime the diverticular symptoms receurred with a vengeance, so my beloved headed across town to an open pharmacy to obtain the medication and I duly started the prescribed course.

On Sunday lunchtime, my beloved having returned from taking the service at Trinity, I had dinner peparations well underway; as I stood up again to check on the cooking progress, a violent vertigo sensation once again overwhelmed me and, my natural panic response brought on a sense of tightness across the chest.

As the episode gradually subsided, Helen drove me across to A&E at the District Hospital, thinking that it was perhaps a recurrence of the labyrinthitis, to which I had previously succumbed some 15 years ago, and on that occasion succesfully treated/controlled with medication. We arrived at A&E, where probable waiting time was estimated at 4 hours, shortly after 14.00hrs. Not long after arrival my blood pressure, heart rate and temperature were checked by a triage nurse before returning to the waiting area.

When I eventually got into a cubicle, to be seen by a doctor, a nurse took some blood samples, rechecked blood pressure and wired me up for an ECG. The A&E doctor had me lay down whilst examining my abdomen listening to my chest as I took deep breaths in and out the, after a few minuteswhen he asked me to sit up slowly the vertigo recurred. Even after resting a little longer the same thing happened again. He also noted that my heart rate was considerably elevated and, was reluctant to let me go home. The doctor then went to consult with more senior staff.

By 18.20, I was transferred to CAT ward and, within a couple of  a hours moved to a bay in Acute Medical where the environment was somewhat more settled. I’ve often felt that Hospitals are those paradoxical places which are both the worst and the best place to be confined when you’re feeling unwell!

At 01.50 on Monday morning, a duty doctor came to examine me and, by this stage things had settled down a bit as I’d rested. A senior doctor came to check me over at about 11.30 and felt tht I had stabilized sufficiently to be discharged, and duly prepared notes for my GP practice for follow up, confirming that vertigo/labyrinthitis (middle ear infections) were the primary suspect and suggested that they may consider repositioning manoeuvres for BPPV. No new medicines were prescribed.

Ma Belle chauffeuse, aka Helen, my beloved and my OH, came to collect me and, it was wonderful to be enthusiastically greeted by our gorgeous hound Piper as we went to the car. We were back on home territory shortly after 13.00 and much rest was needed. It was really good to both listen and relax to the music on Radio 3 (classical) an option not available on the over bed radio in the hospital.

and suddenly they flow

and suddenly they flow

“pains come and go

and tears flow

a creeping fermentation

of an odious decay … “ - Malcolm Evison 060818

Today has not been the best of days, nor yet the worst; it has been one helluva roller-coaster ride of both sudden and slow onset aches and pains, a turbulent discharge from both physical and emotional reserves of stamina. Tears have flowed abundantly on a few occasions as I’ve attempted to explain the frustration of living with a chronic illness, along with several subsidiary ailments, each randomly producing varying degrees of aches and discomfort, ranging from reluctantly accepted background throbbing, rumbling aches, to sudden sharply acute attacks of pain.

As I’m also in my mid-70s (age wise) thoughts of mortality are all too rarely far away, but come to the fore with each new acute onset of pain and discomfort.

Over the past weekend I’ve experienced symptoms quite akin to a flare-up of both gall-bladder (cholecystitis) and diverticular disease in relatively acute form, neither of which do much for one’s morale! At times I had to wonder if my alto and tenor burps could present a non-dissonant counterpoint to the bass line of flatulent release.

An underlying throbbing ache and discomfort in the abdominal region is interspersed with a sharper more stabbing intermittent pain. I’m still struggling to come to terms with a sharp stabbing pain which intermittently occurs at a point apparently just behind the bottom left hand side of the ribcage. Erratic bowel behaviour has long been a problem, swiftly putting paid to any notion of getting away for a break, but in any case the sensory overload of a short car trip into town can frequently prove overwhelming.

An attempt on Monday to hold and read a rather slim paperback book led to a need to don wrist & palm supports, elbow supports, as well as having to stretch my arms across my back, in an attempt to overcome a nausea inducing hollow ache emanating from my armpits. These are not at all uncommon symptoms as they tend to occur when holding a newspaper, using a laptop or tablet PC, just one of the little joys of being.

Attempting to explain the frustration I felt, bordering on despair at times, to my beloved OH just led to an overwhelming flood of tears from yours truly and, quite understandably caused upset to her.

***

This morning, Tuesday 070818, ma belle called the GP practice to see if I could get an appointment, as whenever I check up online they never seem to have any appointments available during the next couple of weeks, and thought they would maybe prescribe some antibiotics. (Regular readers may remember my report of a previous gall-bladder flare-up being recognized and successfully treated with antibiotics by my own GP, and the following arrangements for  a cholestectomy –  an operation which had to be cancelled as, in the meantime I succumbed to a minor stroke - http://sinnaluvva.blogspot.com/2017/06/on-mend-and-back-again.html and http://sinnaluvva.blogspot.com/2017/10/on-opening-and-closing-of-doors.html

are the posts that refer).

I duly received a call back from a nurse practitioner who decided that as I wasn’t at that moment in discomfort, I was still abed and not yet having breakfasted, an appointment with a locum for Thursday morning was made. As I explained that I hadn’t attempted to eat anything this morning still being in the duvet realm, she commented that still being in bed at shortly after 9.00am was a wonderful luxury for the retired. Fortunately I refrained from cussing as I explained to her that no, it isn’t a luxury as for the past 14 years I’ve required a bed rest of  around12 hours per day, sometimes more, (non-refreshing sleep being a component of, and exacerbating the distressing symptoms of ME).

Well, I’ve managed to get thus far without any tears but am now desperately in need of a rest; well it is 11.30am … time for wrist and elbow supports once again, the armpits … etcetera, etcetera …

And on it goes but, at least for now, I’ve staunched the flow.

A BODY FEELS (The Heat)

A BODY FEELS (THE HEAT)

Each footstep jolts

the ankle, knee and hip

provokes a frank response

to the humid heat

Today the weariness

extends its reach

beyond the old

familiar aches and pains

Almost as if each limb

and digit has undergone

some sauna torture.

As irritated bowel

And subservient colon

conspire against the bladders need -

bladder reciprocates the deed

and every oozing pore

Screams out for mercy

Malcolm Evison –

first hasty draft 18.50 -  23 July 2018

Fermentation and Percolation - Abdominal Joys

Wearied by humid heat, each minor task seems Herculean, even more so when it involves a trip into town. For many years now I’ve been unable to face travelling any distance but, it has become increasingly difficult to steel myself sufficiently for the very short journey into the town centre. Chauffeured by ma belle Helen it’s only a matter of 5 to 10 minutes in the car, but even that becomes quite arduous when the stifling heat seems to amplify the sensory overload of passing traffic and scurrying pedestrians both whilst journeying and on arrival at one’s goal.

Earlier this week I had to travel into town to collect my new glasses, of the spectacles not the drinking vessel kind; a short trip on a day when the heat proved overpowering to me. An additional problem, on this occasion, was a diarrhoeal flare up of my IBS. A quick visit to the toilets at the shopping mall found all cubicles temporarily “out of order”; the subsequent scurrying to a large store, and ride up the escalator, proved somewhat disconcerting as the whole abdominal area felt as if an excruciating fermentation or percolating  process was occurring.

Having reached the necessary facilities in the store both cubicles were occupied as I waited cross-legged and anxious for a unit to become available. As I’ve said before, visits into town are always a discomforting experience for yours truly but, this time, the humidity of the day alongside my turbulent abdominal spasms caused additional distress, on top of a familiar state of sensory overload.

It was really touch and go as to whether I managed to keep the appointment to try on and collect my new prescription eyewear. On the verge of a panic attack, I did manage to collect the optical item although I was more interested in getting back home than giving myself sufficient time to fully check that they were OK. Whether or not they proved satisfactory was of far less importance than the rest and facilities waiting for me at home.

Of Resting and Sleeplessness – postlude to Stress of the Normal

Come early evening and tiredness verging on exhaustion takes passing hold of me but, as a notoriously bad sleeper, I hoped not to drift off at such an early hour. Of course resting / relaxation, in the form of a movie, was the order of the evening; my usual evening entails the playing of CDs and / or DVDs at some point, rarely anything too taxing on my limited resource of stamina. Admission time; I did sleep through some of the movie but, come the time when my beloved was ready for bed I was feeling wide awake. I wonder if my readers will understand the sensation of being simultaneously wide-awake and yet 95% drained of energy both physically and emotionally.

You will have noted that as I headed to the bedroom, to join my beloved, the signs were not exactly propitious. Those forebodings were proved correct! As I prepared for bed a generalised sense of discomfort / dis-ease overwhelmed me and, the night turned out to be one of tears, screams and bellowed expletives.

Restless legs took control after an initial burning sensation of sore tenderness took control of my toes, and that alongside of a tortuous throbbing ache in both knees and hips. Within a short time, a tenderness of the armpits lymph nodes began to rage alongside screaming aches in elbows and wrists. My mind seemed to be preoccupied with a relentless darkness as I sought for comfort and rest.

The darkness of the room created an overwhelming sense of isolation, in spite of the fact that my beloved was soundly sleeping beside me, almost oblivious to my cries to and against the Almighty as I tossed, turned and struggled to find a state of composure. The blessed, albeit temporary, release of sleep took many hours to attend to my needs.

Another day of rest is desperately sought and, I little care whether it’s opioid, prayer, or straightforward Mother Nature assisted.

The Stress of the Normal

So, five days after my birthday I was going to get around to spending /exchanging a couple of gift vouchers. My visits in to town are exceedingly rare, albeit just a few minutes drive (courtesy of ma belle chauffeuse) and scarcely longer via the regular bus service but, today, I had to be in town for an eye test in the early afternoon.

We quickly found a suitable free parking space and headed to the HMV shop, upstairs in the shopping mall. The layout of the store seemed rather random, to put it kindly, and the temperature in there felt more like a sauna and equally airless. Admittedly I was already freaked by the movement of people and traffic, albeit on a reasonably quiet afternoon for a town centre, and the rather bright lighting did little to alleviate my sensory overload.

I managed to find a CD that I’d noted down a few weeks ago, Joshua Redman “Still Dreaming” and also picked up a John Scofield / Pat Metheny album that complemented other CDs & vinyl in my jazz collection. In this same small section of the store I also picked up a cheap CD of Miles Davis ‘In a Silent Way’, my 1969 vinyl copy having been overlaid with a crackling surface after being overplayed on various turntables. Another album, Miles Davis ‘Bitches Brew Live’ performances from Newport Jazz Festival 1969 & Isle of Wight 1970 came at a very low price and was added to my basket. I couldn’t face up to any further searching around and felt an immense sense of relief to get out into the air.

A short amble through M & S demonstrated that it was possible to have a tolerably cool and airy sensation in a store, nor were their lights over bright. There followed a short walk down to the opticians in Boot’s store, where optician and optometrists promptly carried out the necessary tests. Last year the change in my vision was so slight it wasn’t worth replacing the current spectacles; on this occasion my right eye had become marginally more short-sighted and, there were early signs of cataracts developing in both eyes.

In retrospect, I realize that I shoudn’t have attempted to tackle more than one task during a visit to town; having spent much of my working life in or close to a town city centre, since 2003 I have rarely been into town more than a couple of times in any year. Any future purchases of CD, vinyl or DVDs will be done online.

memo to myself and others re chronic illness

I've just been reminded, once again, by a friend's misunderstanding whilst communicating via Messenger, of how much one loses when living with a chronic illness - in my case moderate ME (myalgic encephalomyelitis). 

What they had failed to understand is how impossible it proves / has proved to plan any events ahead. Even a meal out locally, with my beloved, can only be cofirmed at last minute and, even so, is an extremely rare occurrence. I have lost contact with most of those I had considered "friends" prior to succumbing to this illness, almost 15 years ago, and have had to rely, to a large extent on the proverbial mountain coming to me.

Going Viral - a random note

Just gotta be honest; as I feel at the moment I don’t want to see of hear any reports of any text, video or image going viral. Since the end of last week I’ve been the victim of something viral, albeit of a gastro- intestinal variety. The diaorrheal component began last Saturday evening and by Sunday had become quite chronic; this symptom remained constant throughout Monday and Tuesday, without regard for my having substituted modest amounts of plain food (and avoidance of caffeine) in place of real food, alongside doses of loperamide / immodium.

In the early hours of Wednesday morning, four urgent visits to the loo were necessitated prior to 04.30hrs, so a further dose of loperamide was required. Miracle of miracles, no further visits to the aforementioned loo were required, other than false alarms, before a further twenty-six hours had elapsed (06.30hrs on Thursday morning) and things seemed to have normalised. A cause for rejoicing, albeit of short duration; by 11.30hrs the old enemy had returned.

I trust my friends will avoid mention of things “going viral” when in my presence!

just the start of another normal day

Where to start; how to define; what words can be used to describe another normal day. I wish to God I understood what is a normal day? Even my days, curbed by health restraints, proffer plenty of variety in terms of food ate, music listened to, DVD’s  viewed, even times of dining may vary, yet somehow they seem to belong to what could be considered a normal day.

This morning I arose from the duvet realm shortly after 10.00hrs, earlier than some but not much later than most days. Even before I left the bed, a throbbing ache in the sides of both knees caused a little discomfort which, strangely, felt like a painful hollowness between upper and lower components of the lower limbs. Nothing unusual there, apart from the degree of ache and discomfort, for this time of day; a mug of coffee and a bowl of cereal were definitely needed. Of course Piper, our beloved hound, greeted me with tail and rear portions wag and sway as he carefully directed me towards his doggy treat store.

So far so good, it’s just another normal day. Having breakfasted I settle down to read the tabloid-sized i-newspaper for fifteen minutes or so before acing wrists cried enough. After a little doing-nothing break, switched on my android tablet, for a cursory visit to twitter-land and newspaper summaries, surfing for about twenty minutes. Another caffeine intake required to keep me awake, followed by a further few minutes with the i-newspaper, only to have a discomforting sensation, tenderness of the lymph nodes, in the armpits. Time to move to the larger sofa, put my legs up and allow the music from radio 3 to wash over me; Piper swiftly leapt over my lower limbs to snuggle beside me.

Not many restful minutes passed before a throbbing discomfort in my toes demanded I put  some pressure on the soles and arches of my feet to somehow eliminate the toe-tingling sensation. Next, almost as a matter of routine, pains from the armpit had extended a nauseating discomfort to whole of upper limbs.

Yeah, I suppose it is just another normal day; shortly after 13.00hrs my first resort to painkillers (tramadol 2x 50 mg) since late yesterday evening (on that occasion alongside amitriptyline) as I prepared for my return to the bed zone. Of course by this time I have recourse to my usual pre-meal medication as I anticipate a little lunch-time bite to eat.

Amazing how hard one has to work in order to be busy doing nothing; for now I revel in the music zone, forget my minor worldly woes. For music, love and life, I give thanks. Just the start of another normal day!

ACHES and GAINS

Just when you think you’ve recovered from the roller-coaster ride, a sudden smack of reality makes you realize that you’ve stepped onto the ferris wheel and this time it’s supercharged. Stomach and oesophagus have never felt so close, a moderate underlying nausea takes on a more prominent role. The head feels giddy as if too much time has been spent on the ‘waltzer’, and knees, ankles and elbows throb as if stray balls from the coconut shy have found fresh targets.

You’ve maybe guessed it, I’m talking payback; a reasonable period of (partial) remission had almost persuaded me that life had been restored to normality. As I’m now into the fifteenth year since my collapse, succumbing to ME (myalgic encephalomyelitis), one would think I’d know better than to miscalculate my reserves of stamina. I’m not talking of any undue exertion, just twenty minutes of mowing the lawn with an electric powered mower seems to have knocked me back. Mind you, this additional exertion came at a time when I’m just coming to the end of a course of antibiotics and antimicrobials.

These additional medications had been prescribed as a result of a visit to A&E at the district hospital last Thursday evening, following a flare-up of diverticulitis (and probably gall bladder as well). There have been many occasions recently when I’ve felt as if my moderate ME had turned to a milder form but then, brainfog, alongside excruciating discomfort in upper and lower limbs, and nagging pains variably dispersed around the torso, randomly exert their authority.

Putting those ailments aside, I am fortunate that I am still able to enjoy listening to a wide range of music (via CD, radio and vinyl sources) and am generally able to accompany Piper (our beagle – podenco  rescue dog) and my beloved OH Helen on short evening walks. A few years ago there were occasions when it seemed / felt like an effort too far]just to walk the few yards to the corner of our road. I really miss it when I’m not able to manage these short walks but the love and attention, received and given, by Piper compensates more than a little, and I’m still amazed at the therapeutic value of this charismatic canine.

An additional source of joy is provided by not infrequent visits from our grandson Alexander, now in his ninth month of bringing and receiving an abundance of smiles to the house. Piper is intrigued by Alexander, even though he’s never sure of how to take the infant’s reciprocal interest; the boy stretches out to feel / stroke Piper but has already managed to grab his tail on one occasion as well as being drawn to his ears (always a sensitive part of the pooch’s anatomy).

if only ... ah ... if only

I'm just getting a little fed-up with the misery and deaths caused by the Tories austerity ideology. My health no longer permits me to participate, feet on the ground ... man the barricades style, in protest marches and demos, which only adds to the frustration!

Occasionally, an outburst of heartfelt light verse becomes a necessity ....

hence the following post (already posted - sans background on Mal's Factory) on my poetry blogs Mal's Factory and Archive Mined

if only i could be ... a Tory!

Night and Day and ... on and on

A night, plagued by both restless legs and a kind of strangulated tenderness emanating from the axillary lymph nodes, found me more exhausted on arising from the duvet realm, shortly after 10.00am, than I had been when I got myself into the bed 11 hours earlier. This did not bode well for the ensuing cold and damp morning and afternoon; that sense of foreboding proved quite apt.

Aches in wrists and elbows forced me to lay both laptop and tablet pc’s aside as a nausea inducing hollow ache in the armpits took control. I removed my outer garments and applied elbow and wrist supports in an attempt to alleviate the symptoms. The discomfort intensified ….

Anyway, the following poem resulted from this experience.

Poem and illustration both by yours truly

still rambling on ... and further words

Life races by, with a generous sprinkling of love, received, given and shared as the most vital portion of each day. I am blessed with a catholicity of musical taste, ranging from early music, through classical, romantic, all the way to contemporary; my taste in jazz extends from traditional New Orleans to freeform and experimental sounds. An appreciation of popular music, from the great American songbook, through folk, blues and rock, also provides me with much auditory pleasure.

Admittedly, my listening to music for the past several years is confined to vinyl, cd, radio, mp3 recordings, rather than the “live” experience. Since 2003, when I succumbed to ME (myalgic encephalomyelitis) I have been unable to cope with theatre, cinema, concerts and gigs, and rarely venture far from my home as shopping, travelling, and crowds, easily result in sensory overload. I am fortunate enough to manage an evening walk with our rescue dog Piper, which far exceeds my expectations / abilities from a few years ago. Piper both provides and receives an enormous degree of therapeutic affection and attention.

My greatest blessing is the love and support of my beloved OH, Helen, who manages to put up with me, even through my far too common periods of pain and frustration induced foul moods and vocal declamations.

Anyway, all this is by way of an intention to apologise for the irregular postings on my blog.

Even when postings are sparse, on this particular blog, you may well find some of my poetic utterances on my poetry and prose-poem blog Mal’s Factory – for those who don’t click on links, it is to be found at https://malsfactory.blogspot.co.uk

After the Virgin’s visit – I proffer my apologies to Epson

Regular readers of my blog may well recall my angrily frustrated posts regarding several futile attempts at connecting an Epson photo-printer to my network (three postings between 19^th & 20^th December are the pertinent ones).

You will have seen there that it proved impossible to set the machine up wirelessly, as well as only being able to set-up an Ethernet connection by use of a manually fixed IP address.

Now that my previous VM super hub has been replaced (post of January 27 refers), I have been immediately able to establish a wireless connection to the printer. In response to a customer satisfaction survey from the Virgin, I commented:

the immediate experience, the politeness & efficiency of the engineer on this occasion would have lead me to a 10 rating but I have some misgivings about difficulty of getting through to the appropriate person on the 150 number.

Since this visit some problems that had been going on for a considerable time, and which I attempted to deal with via yr social media account, have finally been resolved. Ultimately, the problems seem to have been with the old hub and, a wireless connection problem with a new printer, for which I blamed the printer’s manufacturer, has also been resolved.

Perhaps a policy of automatically upgrading/ replacing old hubs should be undertaken, as that would have saved me considerable anxiety which could have proved injurious to my already chronic health condition.

For the time being, I am well satisfied with the Epson product and even reasonably satisfied with the Virgin’s broadband service. To Epson I proffer an apology.

INTACT – Virginity Restored

 It is with gratitude that I report the arrival of the engineer, well within the timeframe proffered yesterday. Apart from a phone call this morning confirming the arrangement, and an opportunity to cancel should we no longer require the visit, the engineer also contacted us when he knew that he should reach us within twenty minutes.

Of course we had access to the internet this morning, unlike yesterday, but bearing in mind the catalogue of underperforming, and even non-responding, events we have experienced over many months, I informed the engineer of these intermittent peculiarly slow ethernet speeds. He was as puzzled as I was about the slower speeds; had they been wireless ones it could sometimes make sense but over ethernet links…!!!

Anyway, he duly installed a (virginal) new hub and said that the one we had been using was the Super Hub, not even Super Hub 1; the newly installed hub is the Virgin Media Super Hub 3.

Hopefully, we will have no imminent need to trouble the Virgin’s Customer Services.

The Harlots Regress – just part of Branson's domain

Once again we’re having problems with our Internet connection, as supplied by Branson’s Harlot Media. For a few weeks we were having random brief losses of internet access even though connection to the hub was reasonably stable. On Thursday night the, by now not unfamiliar, “connected, no internet access” message appeared and re-booting the hub made little difference until, as if a miracle had occurred, the connection was quite arbitrarily restored.

Friday morning, on switching on the laptop a few new e-mail messages appeared. On following the link supplied, by a trusted merchant, I was surprised to receive the message that there was no internet connection. My first reaction was to try a different browser only to get the same result. On checking another pc I discovered that we had no internet access. I duly tried unplugging the hub and rebooting to no avail.

Next I contacted the 0800 number to check on internet status in the local area and was informed that there weren’t any problems. After several attempted re-boots I decided to contact the 150 number were they ran some tests after which they told me there were no problems but, then launched a further series of tests which they said would last up to ten minutes. Twenty minutes later, the problem not having being resolved, I once more contacted 150 and eventual was put through to a real live engineer of some kind. After answering a series of questions concerning account name etc, I was asked what date I paid my direct debit, to which I responded that I would require internet access to tell them that.  Another question followed for which I would have required internet access to give the correct answer. Security checks satisfactorily answered, the person on the other end of the line ran further tests and couldn’t find any problem.

At this end, the problem remained the same regardless of which pc or tablet I tried. I was eventually told to reset the hub and hold the pin in for a couple of minutes. Once again to no avail and, by this time the need to move to different parts of the house was playing havoc with my pain prone knees. After about 35 minutes of them running these checks they decided they would send an engineer on Saturday afternoon sometime between 12.00 – 4.00pm. They also commented that our hub was a rather old one, which caught me by surprise as I had assumed that the supplier would ensure that the equipment supplied would be up to the task. If it’s rather old, then surely, that is the ISPs problem and it shouldn’t be left to create problems for the end-user.

Wish I could say that it’s unusual to have any difficulties with our beloved ISP but, that wish remains upon its distant star. April of last year the problem was with our landline telephone, also part of the harlots domain (see: OfHEALTH and TAINTED VIRGINS ) a problem for which their response could only be described as dilatory. 

Later in the year for a considerable time I was getting speeds well below 20Mbps (Ethernet connection) on what was purportedly a 70Mbps service. I had considerable discussions with them regarding this problem via social media but the speeds temporarily improved so I duly thanked them. Not long after this we were upgraded to a 100Mbps service but, even here I’ve had occasions where the speed has once again dropped to the 20Mbps range, when checking via Ethernet connection, at different times of day and night to counter the prospect of it simply being a period of heavy usage. Needless to say, the wireless speeds at these times are even slower.

!9.10hrs: miracle of miracles we have an internet connection – the big question is how long? 

Considering past experiences going back to at least 2007 (see: AVIRGIN FAILS to provide a service ) I would be ill advised to cancel tomorrows visit from the engineer!

just in passing - albeit taking time

Adorned in loose fitting garments, shirt and unzipped fleece; of a sudden it felt like my armpit lymph nodes  were being strangled by a tourniquet. Strangely, although all garments felt oppressive, the only way to alleviate the nausea inducing discomfort (emanating from the armpits) is to tightly squeeze my upper arms against the sides of my torso whilst tightly clasping my hands behind my back. Admittedly, as so often with these sudden onset ailments, the armpit tenderness appeared almost simultaneously with excruciating aches in both wrists and elbows: the application of strong elasticated supports on wrists and elbows tend to alleviate the more extreme pain.

There follows a discomforted waiting game, whilst I curl myself up, or flail my limbs, into a position that distracts me from the nausea. Next, the debate with myself on whether to take some tramadol, or hope that the pain will dissipate itself!

Whatever activity I’m engaged in, albeit browsing a newspaper, or using a laptop, is of necessity terminated the instant any of these discomforts attack.