Latent Masochism

I should’ve known better than to wallow in my achievement, exercise wise, of Wednesday. Thursday turned out to be a generally wrung-out day; a persistent dull aching weariness seemed to be the day’s keynote. By late afternoon, this lack of physical and emotional stamina turned into a brooding (depression-like) hollowness and emptiness, a kind of intensely frustrating boredom. Friday was constantly in danger of heading in the same direction but, I did manage to keep the self-pity at bay and, despite the miserable weather, I did manage a brief brisk walk once more.

It’s really strange how a day of improvement seems, so frequently, to be followed by a backward step; it’s almost as if I start to demand more of myself and, when that more is not forthcoming, I really become pretty tough on myself.

Today, although I started it in a totally non-refreshed state, has seen a slight advance insofar as the impending negativity has dissipated. Sundry non-specific muscular aches and pains have reared their ugly head more than a little, to be joined by an excruciating vice like grip on my spine, between the shoulder-blades, as I slaved over a hot stove to prepare tomorrows lunch. There must be a latent masochism in me as I still managed to enjoy the creativity and process of cooking.