Wrists in strong supports, left hand clasped
tightly in armpit by right upper arm, right hand grasping left shoulder, upper
left arm clasped tightly to side, and I want to scream. The nagging aching pain
and discomfort little eased by 100mg of tramadol swallowed a couple of hours
ago.
Everything felt fine when I decided to move from
reclining to upright posture, but then just switching on laptop and tapping a
few keys was sufficient to bring back the heavily aching nausea-inducing pain
in the upper arms; the sensation not too dissimilar to a state of total
exhaustion when one is prohibited from rest or sleep.
When lying down a throbbing ache envelops my knees;
bending knees to make a tent under my shrouding fleece temporarily alleviates
the gnawing knee pain. Next it’s the toes that are the problem, a sudden
burning sensation in lower digits all too swiftly feels as if my skin is being
grated by the restraining pressure of what are usually quite normal socks. This
latter item swiftly becomes an instrument of torture and, their removal does
little to relieve the sting.
It’s beginning to feel like some sort of punishment
as atonement for having two reasonably good days. On Friday I finally managed
to visit the opticians, first time I’ve managed that since 2003, previous
attempts having been thwarted by sensory overload and/or panic attacks. I t
really felt like quite an achievement to have undergone a range of tests by
both optometrist and optician. The optometrist was genuinely interested to
learn a little about ME (and my denouncing of the wastebin CFS diagnoses) and
really put me at ease.
Fired up by this amazing achievement, next day I
decided to attend to one of my problem PC’s that I hadn’t touched since
September. No amount of online research (and subsequent application) resolved
the issues that had thwarted my efforts last year. There was nothing for it
other than fresh installation of Win 7 and countless updates to be applied.
By mid to late evening I was quite shatteredly
exhausted but, having go to bed sleep proved extremely elusive. Illusory sleep
turned out to be the lesser nocturnal oppression. Wrists, elbows, lymph nodes,
and lower digits screamed out for attention. Tubular bandages over elbows and
much of the arms, elasticated metal spined wrist supports offered little in the
way of pain and discomfort relief and, the burning flayed skin of the toes
screamed out in accompaniment to my expletive laden vocalising. An application
of moisturiser to feet and toes proffered temporary alleviation but, I’m not
sure whether it was the emollient or the massaging effect of its application that
provided this relief. This procedure was repeated several times during the
course of the next couple of hours.
By 11.19
this morning I reluctantly emerged from the duvet lair only marginally less
exhausted than the previous late evening. What of today? You may well ask! The
first paragraph describes some of my afternoon.
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