The Unpredictability Factor

After being abed for ten and a half hours, managed a swifter than usual arising and dressing routine; what a refreshing change! Took a swift stroll down to Open Church at St Marks and, spent a full 40 minutes in conversation, from which exertion, I’m trusting there will be no ill effects. Certainly, so far, I have felt rather more alert than for the past few days*; perhaps I’m just now recovering from the busier week surrounding my birthday but, I’ve not yet devised a way of ascertaining how I’m going to be from one day to the next.

Predictability has always had its limitations but, somehow, ME/CFS seems to cause swings away from the anticipated norm in an erratically unpredictable manner. I suppose that the goal of ‘Pacing’ is to produce a new median expectation, thus restoring normality on a new plane. Whilst ‘listening to the body’ is always important, an equal value must be placed on routine relating to rest periods etc., (You will rest whether or not you want to!). Much of my present lifestyle is so sedentary that it becomes difficult to know when I am resting. At the same time, I’m all too frequently afraid of taking forty winks as its far too easy to outstay my welcome in the realm of snoozedom. The habit, albeit unwitting, of napping for protracted periods during the day has been hard to kick but, I do often manage to set aside a few minutes of rest following a period of 7/11 breathing.

It seems almost paradoxical that one can sit and do very little yet, simultaneously, get no rest! Now there’s something to ponder. On second thoughts, if I ponder upon it I most certainly will not rest.

* see A Modest Regression (on Mal’s Murmurings) and Fatigue on this blog.