Anyone else out there having problems signing in to their Yahoo account, or are they just out to get me? As my close relative Heterocon has already touched on this matter, I will say no more at present.

The day has indeed turned out better, the morning's rest stood me in good stead as I got on with preparations for this evening's meal. Even managed to take Henry (Numatic Vacuum Cleaner) for a quick whirl around one or two rooms as well. Forgot to have any lunch until mid-afternoon but, that balanced out well with having our main meal later than usual. As traditionally expected, this evening's meal was a great success ... compliments to the chef. The accompanying delight was the beautifully soft 'Il Papavero Rosso', its only danger could be its total gluggability!

Must mark this day down in my diary as better ... at times I almost felt healthy. I feel better about acknowledging that "this is the day the Lord has made", I do rejoice and am glad in it.

Welcoming the daybreak

Having just emerged from the realm of Duvet-dom, the award for first sustained twinge of the day goes to the knee joints. These joints were closely pursued by the back of the neck and, the banded upper-arm muscle.Just hoping the tipsters favourite, Armpit, is not going to come in with a place!

Just sat here at the keyboard, I already sense that it's going to be something of a muggy day ... even though I can't stand the heat, it's impossible to flee the kitchen. Helen has gone out to her computer classes so, I've no-one to prod me awake should I fall into deep slumber by my PC ..... I must think positive, I must stay alert, I am not tired ... I am not ... I am ...

Helen's sister Janet is joining us for a meal this evening, so I'd best put my chefs hat on and ponder what amazing concoction I shall set before our guest. At present I know it will involve chicken breasts (already detached from the chicken), red, green and yellow peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes and a condimentation* of spices and herbs ... furthermore, I suspect, with all due modesty, it will prove quite delicious.

Today will be a better day, today will be a better day, today I will not feel so tired .. today I will be on .... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ....well ...Good Morning ... speak to you later ...

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p.s. * I don't know if condimentation is a proper word but, it's taste seems right!

Creature Discomforts

Physically, or should that be mentally, this has not, so far, been one of my better days. For almost inexpressible reasons (see The Absurd Touch of Normality) I have not been having major fun, boring visitors to my blog with tidbits of *wisdom/ *unwisdom, nonetheless I urge you to note how nobly (I nearly said manfully but, that could be misconstrued as sexist) I cope.

Once upon a time, Sinna Luvva inhabited a world where he didn't find it necessary to think or harp on about his health; oh, where has that Shangri-La, or should it be Brigadoon, vanished to? I throw away allusions to maintain a veneer of urbanity! Anything is easier to cope with than reality ... perhaps that's why Jesus in the garden wanted his 'Father' to take away the cup.

What's needed now are fresh stratagems, to meet head on the daily routine. I proffer up my orisons for help and then, seek to withdraw them for fear of being thought selfish. Why can't I bravely accept the role of coward! In my Gethsemane, I seek your prayers.


* delete as appropriate

Anti-Phishing Toolbar

If anybody out there is interested in a useful anti-phishing toolbar, which these days can be seen as a necessity, you could do worse than downloading the Netcraft Anti-Phishing toolbar ! It's available as a free download in versions for both IE and Firefox. [I have experienced one or two minor glitches using IE but so far no problems on Firefox]. It displays hosting locations and risk ratings for every web site visited.

Phil Ochs re-visited - a birthday treat

Already having "All The News That's Fit To Sing" and "I Ain't Marching Any More" (on both CD and vinyl) it was really good to listen to Phil Ochs "Live In Vancouver 1968" (CD) this afternoon. The songs, and the performance, have lost none of their bite or (more sadly) relevance through the intervening years! That tingle down the spine is still part of my response.

Not exactly 'celebration' music for my birthday but it struck so many chords (forgive the pun)!

This evening we watched a couple of episodes of "Spaced" and enjoyed a nice glass of "Pignoletto Frizzante". Finished the evening with a viewing of "Hercules"(the Disney animation) having also dipped into a couple of my other birthday CD's.

Festive Fayre

'Tis the 61st anniversaryof my birth today but, for some obscure reason, it has not been declared a national holiday. The days celebrations started in the now time-honoured manner (of almost every day); what can be more fitting to commemorate a gracious gentleman's birthday than a lie-in. [Don't get me wrong, the "lie-in"is not a festival of untruth saying, merely stopping in bed a while to catch up on some (always) much needed rest].

Once rescued from the duvet's lair by my knightess, la belle dame avec some mercy - ma belle amoureuse, visited the hospital for some blood tests and returned home for twenty minutes before heading off to the local Brewer's Fayre for lunch. The pork steaks with BBQ sauce were much appreciated by this couple of Darby and Joans!

By this time we were well into the afternoon of this favoured day, time to open the presents; wines from Italy and Australia, CD's of Phil Ochs "Live in Vancouver", Count Basie and, Billie Holiday, a collectors edition DVD of "SPACED" (for those not familiar with this wondrous TV series, it features and is written by Simon Pegg of "Shaun of the Dead" fame) gift vouchers and cheques. I've just got so much to be grateful for with friends and family that, in a way, the gifts are simply the tinsel added to a privileged life.

Plus ca change

The nicotine in the bloodstream seems to have had a benificial effect on my temperament. Is that what I really believe or, is it a justification for weakness? Such possibilities are touched upon, but in a broader context, by Heterocon.

One day isn't a good test, in any case, my moods and sense of well-being seem to be extremely fickle these days.

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Whilst the fish in the pond continue to thrive, our aquarium is now down to two occupants despite the care and attention lavished upon the colony. You win some and lose some. C'est la vie!

A Broken Spirit and A Wearied Flesh

That's it, after yesterday's ropey day (recorded by Heterocon) and an even worse night, the will has finally broken. At 14.00 hours, Sunday 12 June, went to buy my first pack of cigarettes (and lighter) in more than seven months. Could no longer cope with the dis-ease of the body, or the tension and anger of the spirit. One certain factor is that the new medication doesn't suit me or, if it does, I'm struggling to give it time to settle in. Patience is a virtue that seems to drift, nay it runs ... scarpers ... away from me!

The first cigarette, on the way back from the local co-op tasted , to be honest, indifferent but none the less welcome. I hate the thought of money going up in smoke; I resent supporting these destructive corporations who manufacture and merchandise these defiling tobacco sticks and yet, all ethical considerations are tossed to one side in the hope of experiencing that "rush" as the nicotine enters the blood-stream.

For the last couple of months my throat and mouth have managed to taste like a nicotine and alcohol hangover, each morning, even though the former is in absentia and the latter very moderately represented.

I have no excuse, apart from weakness. For the moment life sucks but, who knows ... I do still recognize my good fortune in terms of family and friends.

A Shift In the Balance Of Power (or Tales Of A Tail)

Strange, the scale of re-ordering involved in a weight gain scenario! Before leaving my most recent employment I was becoming concerned at the weight loss from my already reasonably slender frame but, since that time, I've put on at least 35lbs (most of that since quitting smoking at the tail-end of 2004).

This is the point where we get into tales of re-distribution , or shifts, in the balance of power. Such a wierd and wonderful sense of humour dear Mother Nature possesses, sometimes carefully balancing changes anterior and posterior ... stomach and butt!

As the belly begins to fold nicely over the waist band, the butt protrudes like an invitation to some (lower)primate ritual of romance![oh why should I fancy my chances so much?]

No Longer Wild but not quite Cultivated!

A generally quiet ( though clammy) day with little exertion, either physically or mentally required. If there had been any demands, of an exertion requiring nature, I doubt whether I could, or would have responded!

Despite the slow rate of progress on the pond's green-water clearing, it's inhabitants are thriving; from bloodworm (a wonderful food source for) seven goldfish ... Tag, Babe, Blaze, Blondie and the triplets ... and the many itinerant frogs, the reeds and marginal plants, and an abundance of assorted insects.

The nest box echoes to the twittering of some young bluetits, drawing the attention of the neighbourhood cats to their presence but, it's only a limited amount of interference (in terms of protective measures) that we can rightly offer.

This evening I proudly invented a new salmon and rice dish, for the sustenance of ma belle amoureuse et moi ... not for the wildlife (Well, in another sense, I think my wildlife days have passed!). A nicely chilled bottle of 'Chateau du Carpia', Bordeaux 2003, calls out for my attention so, I must bid the blog farewell for the present!