A belated entry (for yesterday)

Last evening, I realized that I hadn’t done a blog entry and, I didn’t (really) feel guilty about it! In fact, for most of the day I never felt too alert even though, in Heterocon mode, I did manage an early day(well, early afternoon) posting on what could have been a profound issue. The sensation that I’m either just starting, or in the midst of, a cold was once again quite to the fore; for the past couple of weeks this teetering on the brink presence has been a constant companion.

It was a lazy dining day, for me; remove Pizza from freezer … pop into preheated oven for 18 minutes … et voila. Come late afternoon, I felt sufficiently inspired to commence preparations for Sunday’s dinner, whilst listening to ‘Jazz Record Requests’ (BBC Radio 3). The result of my endeavours, which I’m looking forward to sampling in the next couple of hours, a Chicken (Tikka Masala variant) casserole, which will be served with my special recipe roast potatoes and broccoli. Early evening, listened to and enjoyed Jann Wenner’s interview with John Lennon from 1970 (BBC Radio 4). I love John Lennon warts and all; perhaps this is a subtle form of self-love as, my beloved kept commenting, “He’s so much like you, how he expresses himself … it could be you!” Just how flattering (or insulting, dependent on where you’re coming from) is that?

‘The X-Factor’ (ITV1) held few surprises but, Brenda is definitely the best vocalist / performer on the show, at least in the opinion of my beloved and I but, I still think that Shayne will win (confirming my opinion from the audition phase of the show). Journey South are consummate professionals and Andy’s a great balladeer! For sheer entertainment value, we’re going to miss Chico but, perhaps he’ll inspire some maverick TV producer to bring back an old fashioned Variety Show!

Singing The Greys

Having enjoyed a 20 minute fairly brisk walk, out into the dull grey mizzling day, came back to prepare dinner for my beloved and myself but, failed to enjoy it. There seems to be something about my taste buds/ digestion on a Friday; at least it means that my beloved can enjoy even more!

After the exercise / exertion, a degree of fatigue cum disinterestedness in what I was doing, or attempting to do, became a prominent feature of the evening. A degree of release from this detachment came, when the gods of technology conspired against us, after dinner; the Sumvision Wireless Card on Helen’s laptop gave up the ghost … totally kaput. I tried re-installing and repairing the software etc., but, all to no avail. Methinks the product is crap, this being the second such card since August but, this time we’ll require a refund and not a replacement! Meanwhile, I’ve installed the Netgear USB wireless adaptor, which I’d been using on my PC, on my partner’s laptop and, the PC has reverted to its Ethernet link.

I’ve just been wondering, this evening, whether I can be bothered with blogging as it only produces a guilt reaction when I realize, as the evening draws to a close, that I’ve not done any scribing. If it becomes too much of a chore it’ll be better to ditch it. Energy & concentration reserves are at a premium in any case; it takes a lot of effort simply to appreciate a life of inactivity, let alone record the relative inaction’s ebb and flow.

All agoggle

Tonight we chose to settle down in front of a hot cathode ray tube. First ‘Bleak House’ (BBC1), followed by ‘The Daily Show with Jon Stewart’ (More4), then ‘Doc Martin’ (ITV1) and currently, I’m half-intently watching ‘Sensitive Skin’ (BBC2). All but the first of these has reasonable comedic content.

In sum, this varied and enjoyable diet, provided a recipe for relaxation! Only now does it dawn how close to saturation we have come.

Advent

This day has proved another one of average inactivity, although I did get around to preparing the Christmas round-robin. It really is strange how, for special occasions, we prepare a communiqué for those with whom we have had no, or at most minimal, communication for the preceding 364 days. I suppose a brief summation of ones life situation has a certain validity but, perhaps brevity is of the essence.

Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way yelling a Scrooge-like “humbug” at Christmas preparations, I leave that to my friend ‘The Oxcliffe Fox’ and, I don’t really see too much wrong with a tasteful round-robin for the Christmas period. In fact, the winter solstice is a fitting time to celebrate the birth of Jesus, the year’s turning point being a suitable time to celebrate the one who by his life turned accepted values and expectations upside down. Little changes as the years pass by; the child of Bethlehem, for expressing views that challenge the status quo, is hounded to his death by the religious and the imperialist occupying forces. If only I could see the parallels …!

Todays Giant Leap

Step One: Pick up a telephonic communication device.
Step Two: Using normal digital dexterity, depress the relevant buttons.
Step Three: Confirm and dispatch the input digits.
Step Four: A voice acknowledges that contact has been achieved.
Step Five: [This is the big one].The preceding steps having been achieved; enter into dialogue with the voice on the receiving telephone. Respond to the voice in supplying the required information before being transferred to another disembodied voice. Receive instructions.
Step Six: Disconnect and attempt to follow received instructions in another area of my life.

So, that’s my major achievement of the day, carrying out a business transaction on the telephone without becoming unduly stressed. It’s too difficult to convey just what an achievement that is!

Tetchy & Guilty

Today, I seem to be a really tetchy sod but, I suppose, bearing in mind last night’s restlessness, it’s only to be expected. Things rather came to a head when, nearly three hours after my beloved went out, for an Indian Head Massage, she still hadn’t returned home and, all sort of worries started to dominate my thoughts. Decided to ‘phone her but, her mobile was switched off so, come 5.25pm I ventured out for some nicotine sticks. Having purchased the comforters, a lady from the church I used to attend (in those dim-distant days when I could cope with such social events) enquired as to how I was. My response, “not brilliant”, was snapped out in a rather off-hand manner and, I couldn’t be bothered to hang around to amplify or apologize for my curtness. Of course, the normal social understanding of such enquiries is that the enquirer doesn’t really want to know!

By the time I got back in the house I started to feel guilty for being so rude. Forgot to mention, I encountered my beloved whilst on my way to the shop and my ‘greeting’ was rather sharp … a result of concern and frustration … so; I suppose an enquiry as to my health was the proverbial final straw!

Now, I begin to feel guilty because I don’t feel at all well! Perhaps it’s no point waiting for the effects of my most recent acupuncture session to ‘kick-in’ and, I should accept that, on this occasion, the effect is purely negative.

The Joy of Achievement

Oh the sheer delight of a nice hot shower, second only to my pleasure at having sufficient energy and inclination to partake of same!

Yesterday was of the out of sorts variety when, having been widely awake at an hour unsuitable for lethargic drones like me (i.e. before 7.00 am), I drifted off into regular bouts of unconsciousness, finally emerging from the duvet kingdom around 11.15am.

It was a day of sore burning moisture veiled eyes, sundry modest aches, pains and generalized dis-ease … in fact pretty well typical of at least 50% of my time … with it’s inevitable burden of fatigue.

But, today is a different day when, not exactly full of vim & vigour, I commenced reading a book whilst propped up in bed alongside my beloved, a feat well nigh unimaginable during most of the past 500+ days. The book in question “Letters From A Lost Generation: First World War Letters of Vera Brittain and Four Friends”, being epistolary in nature, suits well my spasmodic periods of concentration.

The achievement: 84 pages consumed, and digested, before I realized the motivation was present to get myself under the shower.

For this small mercy, I give grateful thanks.

It's X Factor Time

Tonight it’s going to be a tough call on The X Factor, even though some of the contenders didn’t perform at their best. I have little doubt that the Conways will be in the bottom two but, who’ll join them there? Brenda absolutely shone, such a soulful performance of Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You”, perhaps the performance of the series. Shayne enjoyed himself in The Darkness number, which I’ve never particularly liked and, Chico was entertaining as always. The second outstanding performance of the evening came from Journey South … incredible how the final two acts of the show [Brenda and Journey South] proved their star quality and, for me, alleviated some of my earlier boredom.

Belated Greetings

Today has been a much better day for me, although stress remains not far from the surface. It’s amazing how much emotional turbulence can be caused by the inability to find a particular book, solely for one specific reference; we seem to have tomes of all shapes and sizes scattered all around the house (which in itself is a virtue). Once I calmed down a bit, having spent 40minutes or so searching throughout the obvious shelves and corners, nooks and crannies, the cause of the offence to my sensibilities turned up in an unexpected area.

During this period of disruption, the craving for a nicotine stick proved too hard to resist [I have temporarily relieved myself from the psychologically strenuous process of applying, and subsequently removing, the NRT patches] and boy, did it taste good! The planning and preparation involved in quitting in an organized way has proved far too arduous.

For dinner this evening, I prepared a couple of char-grilled salmon fillets sprinkled with ginger, garlic, freshly ground back pepper and light soy sauce. This was served with jacket potatoes topped with char-grilled cherry tomatoes and mushrooms. An absolute delight; today I am certainly back into food. Acute earache extending into the neck muscles was swiftly alleviated by the application of a microwave heated lavender bag. Oh, that such a simple salve could be applied to the rest of my condition.

In this day the Lord has made, I find much more reason to rejoice than was imaginable yesterday. With yesterday’s distractedness, I forgot to extend my thanksgiving Day greetings to my North American friends together with a recommended read: “Thanksgiving: A Native American View”.

Defeat 1 - SinnaLuvva 0

Tonight, the flag of defeat is draped around my shoulders and, ashamedly, I admit to returning to the dreaded weed. I have no longer quit smoking and, insult was added to injury when our local 7 - 11 store was closed early for refurbishment, just when I needed to purchase a packet of twenty comforters. Salvation was close at hand though, in the form of an off-license a couple of doors down and, fortunately they stocked what were (and I suppose may soon have to say "are") my regular brand.

It is a sad day when I have been unable to eat one of my culinary delights from a position of queasy discomfort. Delights are few and far between and, I must admit that although the flavour of the first three cigarettes was not as enticing as I imagined, the process of imbibing nicotine orally is far preferable to the cutaneous transfer method.