John Lennon Day

The letterbox goes “clunk” around lunchtime and, among the post is the 2CD set “Working Class Hero – The Definitive Lennon”, part of my Christmas Present from my beloved. That’s a present I’m really looking forward to receiving and, currently I’m listening to the “Afternoon Play: Unimaginable” (BBC Radio4) written by a journalist friend of John Lennon.

I’ve just done a quick scramble through my drafts of poems and, came across this one, a bit raw but then, it was an impromptu response to the shooting of JL … so here it is!

IN MEMORIAM

They say imagine
no more humane songs
and this at Christmas –

the fir trees baubles
weighted many-fold
like lead. He finds

his final peace
through this destruction –
no longer shall he ache

for universal love.
Crushed like a beetle
closer to Colorado

than his scouser’s home.

Perhaps gun-toting Reagan
will sleep in peace, relieved
at another “pinko’s” demise.

Malcolm Evison – 9 December 1980

A Few Tired Words

As unsolicited fatigue once more preoccupies my day, on both a physical and emotional plane, I find myself wondering whether I have anything to say. The cynic in me says, “who cares?”, as he recalls the fruitless political activism, spiritual questing, striving to put the world to rights, of my earlier years. Although I still hold dear the same social, political and spiritual aspirations, I no longer have the stamina to don my sackcloth and ashes and get out there where it’s all not happening!

One begins to wonder how long they must cope with interminable dis-ease filled days. At least I have the sense to realize just how fortunate I am, to have a roof over my head, food on the table and, warm clothing on my back. Even the pains, I frequently feel in joints and muscles, are usually tolerable; the real dispiriting factor is the lack of stamina and, inability to concentrate for any sustained period.

My good fortune extends even further when I acknowledge all the love I receive from friends and family and, especially from ma belle Helene. Perhaps the hardest part of not being ‘well’, is recognition of the stress it causes those who are concerned and care about you. Secondary to that, is the sense of guilt one has, on occasion veering towards the tearful, at not having any results to show for the passing of yet another day.

Tomorrow, I’m due for another session of acupuncture and, insofar as it means that someone is attempting to do something about my condition, I look forward to it!

The Victor recognizes the Truth

“People in this country are crying out for a Conservative party that is decent, reasonable, sensible, commonsense, and in it for the long term of this country. And that is the party we are going to build, and I want everyone to join in.” – David Cameron, 6 December 2005

It really does me good to find that the new Tory leader admits that his party is neither decent, reasonable, nor sensible or commonsense … I’ve known that for a long time!

Permanent Opposition

“I want and I will lead a Conservative party that when the government does the right thing, we will work with them, and when they do the wrong thing we will call them to account and criticise them.” – David Cameron – 6 December 2005.

Obviously the man thinks that the Tories role is to be the Opposition party; there’s no suggestion here that he expects them to be the Government.

A Time of Testing

Yesterday, Heterocon commented on how I needed to “call upon all my reserves of stamina and courage” in order to keep an appointment in town. These words proved so prophetic and, the visit turned out to be quite a test of nerve. Firstly, I arrived in town early for the appointment and, what with my erratic bladder and spastic colon, thought I should visit the loo before heading across to the dental surgery. Surprise, surprise, (or should that be NO surprise, NO surprise?), the only public toilets in town were CLOSED / OUT OF ORDER! So, it’s off to BHS we go … thank you BHS.

Arrived in good time at the surgery and, dazzling sunshine was streaming through the waiting room window, total sensory overload! It was such a relief to be called up to the treatment room! Now, it’s waiting time until treatment commences in the New Year.

After the appointment, went to collect my beloved chauffeuse but, her appointment with Working Link was running over time. That’s when the panic attack kicked in! However, as you’ll see, by the fact that I’m writing this blog, I did eventually get home safely.

So that’s today’s big adventure out of the way … (Sinna Luvva sighs and mops his brow in relief) … nicotine sticks have been much in demand!

A belated entry (for yesterday)

Last evening, I realized that I hadn’t done a blog entry and, I didn’t (really) feel guilty about it! In fact, for most of the day I never felt too alert even though, in Heterocon mode, I did manage an early day(well, early afternoon) posting on what could have been a profound issue. The sensation that I’m either just starting, or in the midst of, a cold was once again quite to the fore; for the past couple of weeks this teetering on the brink presence has been a constant companion.

It was a lazy dining day, for me; remove Pizza from freezer … pop into preheated oven for 18 minutes … et voila. Come late afternoon, I felt sufficiently inspired to commence preparations for Sunday’s dinner, whilst listening to ‘Jazz Record Requests’ (BBC Radio 3). The result of my endeavours, which I’m looking forward to sampling in the next couple of hours, a Chicken (Tikka Masala variant) casserole, which will be served with my special recipe roast potatoes and broccoli. Early evening, listened to and enjoyed Jann Wenner’s interview with John Lennon from 1970 (BBC Radio 4). I love John Lennon warts and all; perhaps this is a subtle form of self-love as, my beloved kept commenting, “He’s so much like you, how he expresses himself … it could be you!” Just how flattering (or insulting, dependent on where you’re coming from) is that?

‘The X-Factor’ (ITV1) held few surprises but, Brenda is definitely the best vocalist / performer on the show, at least in the opinion of my beloved and I but, I still think that Shayne will win (confirming my opinion from the audition phase of the show). Journey South are consummate professionals and Andy’s a great balladeer! For sheer entertainment value, we’re going to miss Chico but, perhaps he’ll inspire some maverick TV producer to bring back an old fashioned Variety Show!

Singing The Greys

Having enjoyed a 20 minute fairly brisk walk, out into the dull grey mizzling day, came back to prepare dinner for my beloved and myself but, failed to enjoy it. There seems to be something about my taste buds/ digestion on a Friday; at least it means that my beloved can enjoy even more!

After the exercise / exertion, a degree of fatigue cum disinterestedness in what I was doing, or attempting to do, became a prominent feature of the evening. A degree of release from this detachment came, when the gods of technology conspired against us, after dinner; the Sumvision Wireless Card on Helen’s laptop gave up the ghost … totally kaput. I tried re-installing and repairing the software etc., but, all to no avail. Methinks the product is crap, this being the second such card since August but, this time we’ll require a refund and not a replacement! Meanwhile, I’ve installed the Netgear USB wireless adaptor, which I’d been using on my PC, on my partner’s laptop and, the PC has reverted to its Ethernet link.

I’ve just been wondering, this evening, whether I can be bothered with blogging as it only produces a guilt reaction when I realize, as the evening draws to a close, that I’ve not done any scribing. If it becomes too much of a chore it’ll be better to ditch it. Energy & concentration reserves are at a premium in any case; it takes a lot of effort simply to appreciate a life of inactivity, let alone record the relative inaction’s ebb and flow.

All agoggle

Tonight we chose to settle down in front of a hot cathode ray tube. First ‘Bleak House’ (BBC1), followed by ‘The Daily Show with Jon Stewart’ (More4), then ‘Doc Martin’ (ITV1) and currently, I’m half-intently watching ‘Sensitive Skin’ (BBC2). All but the first of these has reasonable comedic content.

In sum, this varied and enjoyable diet, provided a recipe for relaxation! Only now does it dawn how close to saturation we have come.

Advent

This day has proved another one of average inactivity, although I did get around to preparing the Christmas round-robin. It really is strange how, for special occasions, we prepare a communiqué for those with whom we have had no, or at most minimal, communication for the preceding 364 days. I suppose a brief summation of ones life situation has a certain validity but, perhaps brevity is of the essence.

Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way yelling a Scrooge-like “humbug” at Christmas preparations, I leave that to my friend ‘The Oxcliffe Fox’ and, I don’t really see too much wrong with a tasteful round-robin for the Christmas period. In fact, the winter solstice is a fitting time to celebrate the birth of Jesus, the year’s turning point being a suitable time to celebrate the one who by his life turned accepted values and expectations upside down. Little changes as the years pass by; the child of Bethlehem, for expressing views that challenge the status quo, is hounded to his death by the religious and the imperialist occupying forces. If only I could see the parallels …!

Todays Giant Leap

Step One: Pick up a telephonic communication device.
Step Two: Using normal digital dexterity, depress the relevant buttons.
Step Three: Confirm and dispatch the input digits.
Step Four: A voice acknowledges that contact has been achieved.
Step Five: [This is the big one].The preceding steps having been achieved; enter into dialogue with the voice on the receiving telephone. Respond to the voice in supplying the required information before being transferred to another disembodied voice. Receive instructions.
Step Six: Disconnect and attempt to follow received instructions in another area of my life.

So, that’s my major achievement of the day, carrying out a business transaction on the telephone without becoming unduly stressed. It’s too difficult to convey just what an achievement that is!