And Sometimes There Are False Alarms

Methinks that Mary is in for a prolonged labour. On opening the Advent Calendar for today I was somewhat unprepared for the message, "So Mary and Joseph spent the nght sheltering in a stable with the animals". Let's hope there aren't too many complications!

Tales of the UneXpected

Tonight, my beloved and I are still in a state of shock. Brenda, after two amazing performances, is out of 'The X Factor'. With the exception of Andy, all the performers excelled themselves this evening but, with the voting being so tight we just knew it had to be Andy or Journey South who'd be going home. Perhaps the problem was that so many potential voters assumed that Brenda was 'safe'.

Brenda has gone from strength to strength throughout the series, whereas Andy peaked early and over the past couple of weeks his performance declined. Of the finalists, Journey South are our favourites but, I still feel (despite the odd dodgy performance mid-series) as I did before the proper contest began, that Shayne will be the winner .

In the end, it's just entertainment ... but, nonetheless involving!

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Certain friends of mine have suggested that if I didn't allow my body to waste its energy on allowing my residual hair to grow freely, I'd maybe feel a bit less drained. Unfortunately, I remember the story of Samson and what happened to him when his hair was cut. Starting from my current low reserves of physical and emotional stamina, I dread to think where such an exercise might lead. I'd even have to give up being a seriously balding plain clothes Santa Claus.

Theology Lite: Massaging The Message

An interesting article in today's New York Times:
When Christmas Falls on Sunday, Megachurches Take the Day Off

Some of the nation's most prominent megachurches have decided not to hold worship services on the Sunday that coincides with Christmas Day, a move that is generating controversy among evangelical Christians at a time when many conservative groups are battling to "put the Christ back in Christmas."

John Lennon Day

The letterbox goes “clunk” around lunchtime and, among the post is the 2CD set “Working Class Hero – The Definitive Lennon”, part of my Christmas Present from my beloved. That’s a present I’m really looking forward to receiving and, currently I’m listening to the “Afternoon Play: Unimaginable” (BBC Radio4) written by a journalist friend of John Lennon.

I’ve just done a quick scramble through my drafts of poems and, came across this one, a bit raw but then, it was an impromptu response to the shooting of JL … so here it is!

IN MEMORIAM

They say imagine
no more humane songs
and this at Christmas –

the fir trees baubles
weighted many-fold
like lead. He finds

his final peace
through this destruction –
no longer shall he ache

for universal love.
Crushed like a beetle
closer to Colorado

than his scouser’s home.

Perhaps gun-toting Reagan
will sleep in peace, relieved
at another “pinko’s” demise.

Malcolm Evison – 9 December 1980

A Few Tired Words

As unsolicited fatigue once more preoccupies my day, on both a physical and emotional plane, I find myself wondering whether I have anything to say. The cynic in me says, “who cares?”, as he recalls the fruitless political activism, spiritual questing, striving to put the world to rights, of my earlier years. Although I still hold dear the same social, political and spiritual aspirations, I no longer have the stamina to don my sackcloth and ashes and get out there where it’s all not happening!

One begins to wonder how long they must cope with interminable dis-ease filled days. At least I have the sense to realize just how fortunate I am, to have a roof over my head, food on the table and, warm clothing on my back. Even the pains, I frequently feel in joints and muscles, are usually tolerable; the real dispiriting factor is the lack of stamina and, inability to concentrate for any sustained period.

My good fortune extends even further when I acknowledge all the love I receive from friends and family and, especially from ma belle Helene. Perhaps the hardest part of not being ‘well’, is recognition of the stress it causes those who are concerned and care about you. Secondary to that, is the sense of guilt one has, on occasion veering towards the tearful, at not having any results to show for the passing of yet another day.

Tomorrow, I’m due for another session of acupuncture and, insofar as it means that someone is attempting to do something about my condition, I look forward to it!

The Victor recognizes the Truth

“People in this country are crying out for a Conservative party that is decent, reasonable, sensible, commonsense, and in it for the long term of this country. And that is the party we are going to build, and I want everyone to join in.” – David Cameron, 6 December 2005

It really does me good to find that the new Tory leader admits that his party is neither decent, reasonable, nor sensible or commonsense … I’ve known that for a long time!

Permanent Opposition

“I want and I will lead a Conservative party that when the government does the right thing, we will work with them, and when they do the wrong thing we will call them to account and criticise them.” – David Cameron – 6 December 2005.

Obviously the man thinks that the Tories role is to be the Opposition party; there’s no suggestion here that he expects them to be the Government.

A Time of Testing

Yesterday, Heterocon commented on how I needed to “call upon all my reserves of stamina and courage” in order to keep an appointment in town. These words proved so prophetic and, the visit turned out to be quite a test of nerve. Firstly, I arrived in town early for the appointment and, what with my erratic bladder and spastic colon, thought I should visit the loo before heading across to the dental surgery. Surprise, surprise, (or should that be NO surprise, NO surprise?), the only public toilets in town were CLOSED / OUT OF ORDER! So, it’s off to BHS we go … thank you BHS.

Arrived in good time at the surgery and, dazzling sunshine was streaming through the waiting room window, total sensory overload! It was such a relief to be called up to the treatment room! Now, it’s waiting time until treatment commences in the New Year.

After the appointment, went to collect my beloved chauffeuse but, her appointment with Working Link was running over time. That’s when the panic attack kicked in! However, as you’ll see, by the fact that I’m writing this blog, I did eventually get home safely.

So that’s today’s big adventure out of the way … (Sinna Luvva sighs and mops his brow in relief) … nicotine sticks have been much in demand!

A belated entry (for yesterday)

Last evening, I realized that I hadn’t done a blog entry and, I didn’t (really) feel guilty about it! In fact, for most of the day I never felt too alert even though, in Heterocon mode, I did manage an early day(well, early afternoon) posting on what could have been a profound issue. The sensation that I’m either just starting, or in the midst of, a cold was once again quite to the fore; for the past couple of weeks this teetering on the brink presence has been a constant companion.

It was a lazy dining day, for me; remove Pizza from freezer … pop into preheated oven for 18 minutes … et voila. Come late afternoon, I felt sufficiently inspired to commence preparations for Sunday’s dinner, whilst listening to ‘Jazz Record Requests’ (BBC Radio 3). The result of my endeavours, which I’m looking forward to sampling in the next couple of hours, a Chicken (Tikka Masala variant) casserole, which will be served with my special recipe roast potatoes and broccoli. Early evening, listened to and enjoyed Jann Wenner’s interview with John Lennon from 1970 (BBC Radio 4). I love John Lennon warts and all; perhaps this is a subtle form of self-love as, my beloved kept commenting, “He’s so much like you, how he expresses himself … it could be you!” Just how flattering (or insulting, dependent on where you’re coming from) is that?

‘The X-Factor’ (ITV1) held few surprises but, Brenda is definitely the best vocalist / performer on the show, at least in the opinion of my beloved and I but, I still think that Shayne will win (confirming my opinion from the audition phase of the show). Journey South are consummate professionals and Andy’s a great balladeer! For sheer entertainment value, we’re going to miss Chico but, perhaps he’ll inspire some maverick TV producer to bring back an old fashioned Variety Show!

Singing The Greys

Having enjoyed a 20 minute fairly brisk walk, out into the dull grey mizzling day, came back to prepare dinner for my beloved and myself but, failed to enjoy it. There seems to be something about my taste buds/ digestion on a Friday; at least it means that my beloved can enjoy even more!

After the exercise / exertion, a degree of fatigue cum disinterestedness in what I was doing, or attempting to do, became a prominent feature of the evening. A degree of release from this detachment came, when the gods of technology conspired against us, after dinner; the Sumvision Wireless Card on Helen’s laptop gave up the ghost … totally kaput. I tried re-installing and repairing the software etc., but, all to no avail. Methinks the product is crap, this being the second such card since August but, this time we’ll require a refund and not a replacement! Meanwhile, I’ve installed the Netgear USB wireless adaptor, which I’d been using on my PC, on my partner’s laptop and, the PC has reverted to its Ethernet link.

I’ve just been wondering, this evening, whether I can be bothered with blogging as it only produces a guilt reaction when I realize, as the evening draws to a close, that I’ve not done any scribing. If it becomes too much of a chore it’ll be better to ditch it. Energy & concentration reserves are at a premium in any case; it takes a lot of effort simply to appreciate a life of inactivity, let alone record the relative inaction’s ebb and flow.