The Cold Light of Day

The words are expressed so gently, sensibly, and realistically, that one scarcely recognizes the harsh reality that underpins them! But, in the cold light of a new dawn, the bitter truth strikes home; I have lain and tossed and turned in the duvet realm for nine hours and fifty-nine minutes and, now is the moment of truth.

Under the strict new regime, initiated by the sainted Julie of Chronic Fatigue Services, one must strive to avoid periods in excess of 10 hours in bed. Stiff-necked and aching hipped, I roll myself off the mattress; slowly I insert my arms into the velour sleeves of my dressing gown and, stumble down the stairs for a quick nicotine fix (a medicinal dose to overcome the trauma of this early morning endeavour). I venture back up the wooden hill, adopt a semi-recumbent posture on the bed as I apply emollient to the lower limbs. So far so bad but, I even manage to fit myself up in daytime garments and resist the urge to lie down for a further period of rest.

On paper, the routine stinks of reasonableness and, I approve of its goal! A slowly returning normality is not a prize to be scoffed at and, I am still encouraged to take necessary rests; just like the Inquisition, although the rack may be more subtle, the aim is the salving of my soul.

Fighting the Elements

As the day has remained miserable and gloomy, solely weatherwise I hasten to add, just felt like adding a little more sunshine blossom!

Stray Thoughts

After my recent sparkling days, as the weekend approached I veered back into my usual regimen of idle days. My return to inactivity, thus far, isn’t accompanied by the intense frustration of the pre really good days and, I have managed to take a couple of leisurely walks to grab some photos of the blossom on The Stray. No doubt the rain of the past couple of days will have devastated that glorious scene, so it’s just as well I managed the straywards meander when I did!

It does seem that my ‘pacing’ is starting to come together but, I also recognize the necessity of taking the occasional opportunity to stretch those self-imposed limitations. At times, as in the past few mornings, the body finds its own way (various discomforting symptoms) of telling one to exercise a little caution.

Apple Blossom Time

Just thought I'd go out into the garden and couldn't resist taking a couple of 'snaps'.

Just an ordinary day

Just another ordinary day and, I’m on the road again. The roads seem unfamiliar but, the routine seems unchanging. Grasped by anticipation of future events, it feels like I’m being pulled along this particular route. A crowd gathers at the foot of a hill and I find myself wondering what the big attraction is; all eyes turn towards me, as yet I’m unable to determine whether hostility or admiration motivates their gaze.

Next thing I remember is the multi-stranded steel cable tied around my waist. Slowly I stumble up the hill; a passenger train rumbles behind me and, my exertion seems to supply its only motive power. So, that must be the reason for the cable; my task is to pull this train to the top of the hill.

When I reach the summit, my employer awaits me angered by my late arrival and, an argument begins. I threaten to flatten him, assuring him that it wouldn’t be a problem if only I was fit …

The bosses’ gargantuan hulk leaps from behind the bar (or is it his desk?), a strange confusion of guilt and anger accompanies my sense of panic.

Next thing I know, I’m awake and, it slowly dawns that it’s just one more of the night’s dream sequence. It’s the supra-ordinariness of these dreams that makes them so disturbing.

Pilgrim's Process

After an intensifying frustration with my inability to lead a more active life, I suddenly realized that I ought to make a greater effort. Yesterday I emptied out, and gave a thorough cleaning to the aquarium, transferring the minnows to a temporary tank with all the algae laden plants. After thoroughly scalding the gravel, and cleaning and sterilizing the ornamental rock, came the task of refilling the tank with AquaSafe treated water. It really is amazing how bright the gravel looks now! Next replaced the mechanical & chemical filter, and applied a fresh dose of live bacteria to encourage the bio-foam filter to keep up its good work, then turned on a bit of additional aeration.

At teatime Beth called around, arriving at the same time as Helen returned from work, to give her Mum her birthday present. We enjoyed a glass of delicious Burgundy Chardonnay (Roux Pere & Fils 2002) together and, later in the evening, Cathy (with partner Ken) came around on a similar mission to Beth. Ken & Cathy enjoyed a glass of the self-same Chardonnay followed up with a glass of Jacques Lurton’s ‘Finca Las Higueras’ Pinot Grigio 2005.

Today I arranged a few fresh aquatic plants and added another dose of good bacteria to the aquarium. The White Cloud Minnows, meantime, are intent on hanging and hiding in the multitude of ailing plants of in their temporary holding tank. It really is quite a while since the currently illuminated (for the new plants sake) main aquarium looked so pristine.

This morning decided to take a walk, whilst my beloved was at work and, within five minutes bumped into Iris who attends St. Marks and stopped for a little chat, eventually I walked down to ‘Open Church’ at St Marks for Coffee and a chat. By the time I returned home I felt much better for having ventured out into the normal world. After a rest and, listening to an excellent Afternoon Play (Radio 4), decided to stretch myself a bit more by getting out the lawn mower. I think this sudden burst of activity was inspired by my current relief from recent back and hip pain, as well as relief from the aforementioned frustration. If only I could now do something about my lack of concentration!

I rejoice and am glad in these two good days the Lord has made. There are certain times when it’s much easier to give thanks, and the past couple of days have been two of them!

Seek and (sometimes) you shall find

Yesterday morning saw the return of Abstainer’s Hangover, clogged sinuses, excruciating headache, earache, sore throat and generally feeling flushed and burning up. The only accompaniment lacking was the sudden shivers; apart from that, it seemed like a return to my days of excess. If temperance can be so devastating on one’s sense of wellbeing, perhaps it’s getting to the time when moderation should be avoided like the plague. At least in days of yore it was quite usual to (eventually) acknowledge my own culpability for the following morning’s symptoms; in that sense an undeserved presentation of the symptoms is much more difficult to cope with.

Shortly after noon, I emerged from the duvet realm in a kind of discomfiting stupor and, energised myself sufficiently to prepare salmon pasta for my beloved and I. After lunch we went down to PC World, where my beloved had to pick up a copy of the new Clait 2006 handbook for a colleague and, I enjoyed a brief session browsing. Later in the afternoon we went out for a walk and, I discovered that, with my troublesome back, it was much easier to walk at a quicker pace, assisted by a trusty walking stick, than that recommended (on other grounds) by my therapist. Quite strangely, a slower pace seemed far more jarring on the spine. Come early evening, I prepared one of my special minced beef curries ready for Sunday lunch.

After watching ‘Dr Who’, we decided to watch the most recent film of ‘Pride and Prejudice’ which, to us, seemed perfectly cast and really captured the wonderful humour of Jane Austen. The experience was admirably complemented by a shared bottle of Taittinger ( a pre-emptive strike for Helen’s birthday on Monday.

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This morning, apart from my normal weariness, I felt much better than the day before and, even managed to take a shower before ma belle helper went out to chapel. A hunt for my favourite cardigan, firstly by me and then by Helen, ended in futility so, I had to settle for a crew-necked jumper. Lunchtime and, the curry, prepared last evening, was thoroughly enjoyed by both of us, a slightly sweet forward taste being delightfully underpinned by a gradual release of ginger& chilli heat. Whilst Helen was finishing her dinner, I retreated to my comfortable supportive chair to relax. Some ten minutes later, I became aware that I wasn’t wearing my spectacles so, another hunt was underway.

As I knew I’d taken my glasses off to put the jumper on, the room in which that action was performed made an obvious stage for our investigative work. No joy. Next we checked the bedroom, twice, and still no result from our quest. Twenty minutes down the line, my beloved discovered that which was lost down the side of of the dining room’s comfortable supportive chair! There was much relief and rejoicing in the land.

As we decided to take a walk in the rain, anoraks were called for as the day’s uniform. Guess what, I was unable to fasten the zip within my first five attempts; bet you thought I couldn’t find the anorak! Some days, I surpass myself and actually find that which has never been lost and, I even manage to fasten my clothes without too much difficulty. If only these events weren’t carried out in such deadly earnestness then, this grouch might even find it vaguely amusing.

Moany Moany

No sooner had my beloved got through the door, on return from her volunteer work at Oxfam, than the ‘phone rings and, I finally get to greet her some ten or fifteen minutes later. Mal’s Murmurings has already recorded this afternoon’s telephone confrontation but, some people just won’t give up! Actually, it was a different person from the same company that I had cut short less than two and a half hours earlier but, at least they had come straight to the point on what ‘service’ this woman, from Yorkshire Water Home Services, was trying to sell. Sadly, my beloved is genetically incapable of putting the ‘phone down on unsolicited callers, even though she had explained that she’d just that instant got through the door on return from work.

Unless the quotation, which we are now expecting, dramatically undercuts the extremely competitive rates we are paying for the same services elsewhere, the only response will be to tell them to get stuffed if they insist on making unsolicited calls to our number! Oh what a sweet temperament I have; ma belle and I seem predestined to play out the “good cop bad cop” routine when it comes to unwelcome telephonic intrusions.

As I seem set in the “Grumpy Old Men” mould, I may as well go on to another technological moan. This time the topic is my website Guest Book. I seem to be receiving an increasing amount of spam entries in the guest book; well they don’t actually get into the guest book pages themselves but, I’m getting sick of notifications that I have received an “entry” whose submission I have to “Approve” or “Delete”; online casinos, web pages about supposed celebrities, landscaping services, all of which originate from that home of decadent late-capitalism, the US of A. I’m rapidly coming to the opinion that it’s not worth having a guest book on the site at all. I don’t mind whether submissions are favourable or legitimately critical but, why do these ignorant spamming gits have to waste their time and mine, I’ll never understand!

J.K. Galbraith's Towering Spirit

He challenged the national conscience with a series of thoughtful books, provocative interviews, merry rejoinders and lethal wisecracks. The Bush presidency led Ken to muse aloud that it had caused him to think thoughts that he never thought himself capable of thinking. I asked, "For example?" Ken replied, "I begin to long for Ronald Reagan."
- Arthur Schlesinger Jr.


J.K. Galbraith's Towering Spirit

Nature Unreserved

An (at times) excruciatingly painful back has forced me to reduce my already limited activity and, led me to the role of overseer as my beloved attempts to get to grips with the lawnmower and its height adjustment mechanism. Were I not such a nice guy, I could so easily get used to the role of bully! Whilst Helen carefully manoeuvred the grass cutting implement, I spasmodically used the end of my walking stick to move the trailing lead out of the way of encroaching blades. Although we’ve not been able to fend off the total invasion of the garden by the dark forces of ground elder, we are at least successfully decapitating some of it’s number who dared to encroach on our would be lawn!

At other times, I simply enjoyed the pleasure of relaxing on the bench beside the garden pond with its abundant tadpole population. Regardless of the water’s murkiness, I really find it relaxing watching the Brown Windsor Soup [aka Pond Water] swirl around and away from the water spout. My halo still gleams a little from all my efforts to re-instate the pond-pump. A simple need to ‘do’ something tempted me into applying a further treatment of the pond with ‘SludgeBuster’ but I’m not anticipating any overnight transformation. The water boatmen, skimming the surface, seemed hyperactive today.

It was wonderful, just sitting and relaxing amidst the activity of honey and bumble bees and the occasional sighting of flutter-bys. Today, for the first time this season, we were visited by a Small Copper butterfly by way of a change from the regular welcome trespass of Tortoisehell and Peacock varieties.