A Little Diversion

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have composition soles on your sandals, comprising 80% well chewed gum and 20% elasticised super-glue? I can assure you that it’s not to be recommended!

After a calmly joyous start to the day, I drifted into early afternoon. By mid-afternoon, I felt I should take myself for a little walk and, on the outward part of my little expedition, I dropped a prescription in to the local pharmacist. Having started off on one of my usual circuits, I decided to add a bit of a zig-zag to the route, perhaps adding little more than a couple of hundred yards to the overall journey. Whether it was an error of judgement, or simply an incident waiting to happen, I don’t know but, halfway through this diversionary route my thighs and knees started to resist my will to move onwards,

My style, if such it can be called, was in desperate need of amendment; perhaps I should start to swing my legs a different way. For a few brief yards I practised a stiff legged waddle, a new item for my repertoire; this only served to make hips and the small of the back ache in quite an ominous fashion. Thankfully this was only a passing fad.

As I approached the pharmacy, on my home run, to pick up the dispensed prescription, I found myself wondering why they didn’t offer a drive you home service rather than a prescription collection one. What a welcoming prospect that would have been! The knee joint felt like it was grating against the tibia and fibula, the hip joint in need of lubrication and, by this time I was in need of some serious thirst-quenching. Still, I struggled wimpishly on, collected my prescription and suddenly, I recognized the above composition of my sandal’s soles; it seemed to take a real effort of will to lift my foot from the pavement for each step, it was as if the force of gravity was concentrating all its attention on my feet.!

Still, I survived to tell the tale and, sat here with my glass of Adam’s Ale, I am once again at peace with the world. But what do I do next, take another walk to reassure myself that this was just a temporary blip, or rest assured that the rest will cure all?

I have overcome and I will overcome; even now the incident seems laughable.

Catching the drift

Having spent much of the day drifting in and out of cyberspace, messaging wonderful friends on ‘MySpace’, posting a NEW poem (inspired by a beautiful friend) on ‘Mal’s Factory’ and, visiting the Help with ME Forum, the only real exercise of the day was provided by sauntering up to the garden pond to feed the fish.

Once my beloved returned from work, we strolled down to the local Brewer’s Fayre for a little early evening meal. The salmon risotto, topped with an apple and sultana curry sauce, was the choice of both Helen and myself; it’s amazing the lengths some people will go to in order to avoid washing up duties. I suppose it could be viewed as a rightful extension of our No More Buts Day celebrations. The saunter back home provided the day’s extra bit of exercise.

And there’s a real bonus, another dish of my own unique Eurasian style chicken casserole remains for our indulgence tomorrow evening. The first dish was much appreciated on Sunday and, I have no doubts that a couple of standing days will have only served to enhance the flavour, if that’s at all possible!

Of course all the opinions expressed here are simply an expression of my own brand of humility!

No More Buts Day

Today, 6 August, is a significant day in the life. Firstly, it’s the anniversary of the day when the horrific power of the atom was released on Hiroshima, it is also the Feast of the Transfiguration but, a more immediately important event in my life occurred just seven years ago today! On that day my beloved and I got engaged. To be totally honest, it wasn’t formally an engagement; it was a day on which I said “no more buts”. Perhaps this is an all too familiar saga, all those times when I expressed my love and, yes I do want to spend all of my time with you, but …. The thought of someone committing the rest of their life to me, that’s truly awesome!

Anyway, the 6th August 1999 will henceforth be remembered as NO MORE BUTS DAY! Helen’s eldest daughter kept pestering us to know whether we were engaged yet, she had it all planned out for us, so from that day forth the answer was, “yes”. For Beth, it was like a confirmation that we were indeed an item, for me more the awesome prospect of an impending marriage ceremony a mere seven months down the line. On reflection though, that tying of the knot is the best thing that ever happened to me; this middle aged chap, who’d been around a bit, had finally overcome the fear of sole / soul commitment. At times I dreamt of finding a wealthy widow, to secure me in my old age, but to chance to meet a widow who didn’t quite fulfil the ‘wealthy’ aspect, that really wasn’t on my agenda.

As soon as I met my beloved, she was quite puzzled that I should hug all the other ladies, young or old, but not her. I suppose I sensed something different here and a hug can be so wrongly misinterpreted. The real magical buzz occurred when I held her hand; funny old world, eh? This was going to entail the transition from a hug of love and friendship to the full “to have and to hold”.

Today is a significant day in my life!

New Every Morning ... (afternoon and evening too!)

Today has been a real day of reckoning, nothing too catastrophic, just a stubborn body reacting to a change of routine. Having gone out for Supper / Dinner last evening, at Helen’s sisters (an event recorded under “Making A Meal of It” on Malcolm’s MySpace blog), my body clock seemed to get over-wound.

My old familiar pattern of restless nights made itself differently manifest; the usual routine is one of feeling really tired but, not being able to sleep at all readily. Last night I quite simply didn’t feel tired but, part of my ‘pacing’ involves keeping a more regular routine so, for a change I found myself laying in bed (accompanied by ma belle & radio 2) feeling alert rather than wrecked, but the same impatience was there as I waited for the Sandman to call.

I entered the new morning, none too belatedly, moderately alert and so, I felt pleased with the progress that I’ve been making. At lunchtime I prepared, from scratch, a couple of tandoori salmon fillets served with penne pasta topped with sautéed peppers, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms and peppers and, my beloved and I enjoyed every morsel.

Post lunch, the decline set in with feverishly burning eyes and aching limbs; the only solution was to take a twenty minute nap which, quite mysteriously, transformed itself into a lost couple of hours.

When we ventured out for a walk, the air felt quite clammily oppressive, (even though the temperature is considerably lower than that experienced last week) and my lower limbs became, once more, lead lined tubes of kapok as the brief brisk exercise somersaulted into a weary plod.

Having relaxed in a comfortable high-backed chair for the subsequent hour, a hint of energy is coursing steadily through my veins. If this steady momentum can be maintained, I may even venture into the kitchen to start preparations for tomorrow’s lunch.

The next step is always the most important one I’ll ever have to take! I rejoice and am glad in this day, and so life goes forward to overcome each regressive stage.

AlterNet: Activists, Teachers: Don't Give Up

"The more hopeless the political situation, the more important are those who live and teach the principles of human decency"

AlterNet: Activists, Teachers: Don't Give Up

Unexpected Pleasures

Sometimes life offers up an unexpected pleasure and, sometimes these pleasures come in bundles. Today, I felt sufficiently resilient to get around to packing, and posting, five watercolour sketches to a reader of one of my weblogs who lives the other side of the big pond. What surprised me was the amount of stamina required, to sort out a simple task like packaging a few sheets of paper for transmission across the Atlantic. But, brushing negativity aside, it really has been good to get some positive feedback regarding paintings and poetry on my website and, after much e-mail correspondence, and submission of further jpeg images, it’s a real pleasure to supply the original sketches to someone who has shown such appreciation.

One of these days, I hope to have sufficient reserves of physical and emotional stamina to get down to some real painting once more; meantime, I am fortunate enough to have a few reasonable graphics and imaging programmes (on my PC) with which I can let the creative juices flow!

Another recurrent pleasure, experienced over the past couple of weeks, is the friendliness of people on ‘My Space’ and, the fact that some of one’s added “friends” really do get in touch! I feel quite privileged that they actually take the trouble, in their busy lives, to communicate both in public comments and personal messages. One gets the sense that this is a real community.

Slowly but Surely

For the first time in far too many a day, I decided to do a bit of reading before departing from the duvet realm. It’s the sort of book which I’d have read in a couple of days at one time, simultaneously scanning the pertinent contents / ideas to memory but, my concentration at the moment beats a retreat after about twenty minutes. On reflection, the fact that the writing held my attention and, I sustained concentration, for even that period of time, is a sign of progress!

After that ‘sustained’ bout of reading, I drifted back to dreamland and finally, rescued myself from the duvet lair a couple of hours later. Somehow, I found sufficient stamina in my energy bank to do a miniscule amount of work in the garden before rinsing out the filters from the pond’s filtration unit. It really feels good, being able to manage a few little tasks and, it provided an opportunity to restore a smidgen of glory to a rather tarnished halo.

Come early evening, my beloved having returned from work and a meal with Beth, we ventured out for one of our proverbial brief brisk walks. As we set off, we met Cathy’s friend Kate, who is currently recuperating from brain surgery and had a lovely chat. She’s just such a lovely radiant young lady, who seems to have lost little of her resilience despite the difficulties she has undergone over the past couple of years.

Unlike a few months ago, when any time spent stood in conversation meant that I lacked the stamina to continue the walk, we were able to finish our brisk stroll and, arrived home just in time to watch ‘The Inspector Lynley Mysteries’ (BBC1). Both the exercise and the TV gawping were gratefully received by yours truly!

Although progress may at times seem slow, I just have so much to be grateful for.

Replenishing the Soul

And the refreshing of the earth continues, in this small pocket of the globe at least. A brief venture to an out-of-town store necessitated a quick dash from the car through quite torrential rain but, I’m still revelling in this delightful downpour; the clammy cobwebs (from the hot and humid days) have been well and truly washed away from both mind and body.

Ma belle has been busy, finalizing her preparations for the service she’ll be leading on Sunday, whilst I’ve quite contentedly drifted through cyberspace, having failed to find that hint of inspiration (or imagination) which could inform me what else I could, or should, be doing with my time. I recognize that this “time of drift” is a luxury to be relished but, there are far too many moments when I long for the return of that emotional stamina which once enabled me to lead an (apparently) more purposeful socializing existence!

One of the great privileges of internet access is the ability to make new friends and acquaintances with some wonderful people, without whom the world would be a much poorer place. There are so many occasions when one is able to proffer, or receive, the appropriate words of encouragement and appreciation; my little life has been greatly enriched by the existence of this technology.

Just as the rain refreshes the earth, the friendship of others replenishes the soul.

A Day of Refreshment

Weather wise, it’s a wonderful day; I arose from the duvet lair, not too bright but reasonably early, just as my beloved arrived back with the main weekly grocery shopping. A few fleeting moments were spent together before she headed off to work and I coaxed myself into the shower room. By 11.00AM I felt sufficiently energized to walk down to ‘Open Church’, at St Marks, for coffee and a natter; revelling in the sensation (carried over from last evening) of being able to breathe more easily. The sun made a modestly successful attempt to burn its way through the cloud cover as I walked home but, there was no sign of the ridiculous cloying heat of recent days.

As soon as I arrived back home, I engaged myself observing the activity of butterflies and moths and attempted to take a few snaps, just as the breeze took hold of the Buddleia branches on which my subjects were perched. Shortly afterwards, the first rain shower of the day embraced me as I sat beside the pond; a wonderfully refreshing change, although I swiftly headed back to cover as the gentle rain was replaced by a downpour.

The lawn, after a couple of weeks of lethargy, looks as if every blade of grass has suddenly sprung to attention. I rejoice in the day’s refreshment!

Counting blessings and citing the curse

My mid-morning alighting from the duvet realm was today a most refreshing experience. On entering the living room, I was immediately bathed in the most refreshing breeze, as my beloved had opened the window wide as if in celebration of my emergence into the world of the day people. A breezily breathable day, that’s not far short of the ecstatic for me; it certainly washes away the residual cobwebs of melancholia from yesterday’s setback. Today, I feel able to share the joy of Dame Julian’s shewing that, “all shall be well, all manner of things shall be well”! In terms of the love of family and friends, the wealth of nature in my own back garden, my sense of self-worth (although sometimes troubled by problems of health) I am blessed indeed!


There is much in the world that is indeed very unwell, man’s inhumanity to man and, that generally cynical viewpoint that charity begins at home, outrageous prejudice shown by people of religiosity … blah, blah, blah … I could go on … and on but …….


A sermon illustration I heard as a child still haunts me, it’s the one about the boy having to put together a jigsaw map of the world. His father was so surprised that he completed the puzzle so quickly, was he perhaps a genius, that even in childhood he was capable of reconstructing a map of the world? The child’s solution was, of course, much simpler; on the back of the puzzle someone had drawn a picture of a man, and the child had already observed what a man looked like; by getting the man right he’d managed to get the world right.

The problem is that politicians, financiers and religious bigots seem determined not to give man a chance to get right; we seem to be taught from an early age that self-interest is the only possible course of action and, one man’s self-interest quite frequently implies the blighting of numerous other lives.

But, I believe that “all shall be well”, so count me in on the side of the oppressed that I may work towards that goal.