LISTENING

It’s more difficult than you’d imagine to listen to one’s body. When things are going well, as has been the case for the past few months, with a paucity of trigger alarm signals, one becomes blissfully unaware of their own limitations. Managing a bit more here, and a bit more there, the extra effort seemed as if there were no toll to pay; the boundaries of my physical and mental effort have extended dramatically, way beyond what would have been my wildest dream during most hours, days, weeks and months from late 2003 to early 2009.

One takes the occasional trivial setback in their stride so, it came as something of a shock, this morning, when my head, torso and limbs were all suffering from several of the symptoms and sensations that so frequently blighted my being during that earlier period. Thankfully, they were only present as a pale reflection of their former intensity; even that was sufficient to prevent me continuing a leisurely stroll, on which I’d embarked mid-morning, to ‘Open Church’. That’s when I realized that I’d been losing the knack of ‘listening’ to my body, overdoing things a bit in my complacency. It’s almost as if I’d become too positive in my outlook; mind you, if positive thoughts had been a “cure” for ME-CFS I wouldn’t have ever succumbed in the first place.

So, it has been a lazy day for me, enhanced by listening to a new CD, ‘Tortured Soul’ by Danelle Harvey; the lady in turn rocks, grooves and tenderly coaxes her own words into life in these songs. Although the title of the album, and indeed the subject matter of some of the songs, could lead one to expect a ‘downer’, it’s the artist’s vitality and resilience that shines through.

Not only have I been taking stock, renewing my vigilance, when it comes to listening to my own body, I’ve also had the pleasure of listening to an inspiring singer / songwriter.