where to begin

Just another typical morning; cup of cold coffee on the bedside table, clock radio spewing out a familiar mix of entertainment and banality and, I’m still abed, even though the ante-meridian hour has passed eleven!

Today’s the day I’m to visit my GP to check whether the medication, which she prescribed three weeks ago, is assisting me with sleep. Problem is, after the first couple of nights the familiar routine of restlessness, coupled with fitful brief snatches of slumber, still prevails. Most of the time, after a predominantly restless night, I’m drowsily awake around the time my beloved leaves for work (around 7.30am) before drifting off into the land of dreams. The period of drowsy wakefulness is, generally, when my beloved places a (hot) cup of coffee on the bedside cabinet [see opening paragraph].

For all the intermittently fluctuating pattern of sleep, my vividly Technicolor dreams frequently veer towards a nightmare scenario, one where the goal always slips from one’s grasp as one runs, walks, or crawls desperately towards it; walkways erode and crumble beneath ones feet, a doorway inevitably narrows just as you attempt to squeeze through, a bus departs just before you reach the stop. Normality and fantasy indelibly intertwined.

Sundry muscular and abdominal aches and pains, doubtlessly, contribute towards my fitful sleep, as well as the frustration of my daytime hours. I shortly go and see the doctor but, where do I begin? Suddenly I realize the appointed hour has arrived and, walking stick enabled / encouraged, I make my way to the Surgery.

On being called in to the consulting room, Dr D makes me feel immediately at ease. She notes the spinal related nerve pain in my left arm but, is more intent on finding out about my sleeping habits; meantime, a regime of occasional ibuprofen alongside the tramadol should be maintained to alleviate the sundry aches and pains.

The GP has suggested that I should try taking the mirtazapine at around 6.00 – 6.30 in the evening. The thinking goes that, as I’m really drowsy in the mornings, the mirtazapine is probably contributing to the drowsiness and, if taken earlier (than is normally suggested) it may well help induce sleep during the appropriate nocturnal hours. The doctor suspects that the dreams may well have been heightened by the medication but, that should settle down in due course; she also said that she would be contacting Julie at the Chronic Fatigue Unit, with a view to my having a refresher course to help me with my “pacing”.