Of (Arm)Pits and Pendulum

A private resolve, to refrain from further postings until I felt more upbeat (on the health / well-being front), has now dissolved; I’m afraid that you’ll just have to take me as I am! I have no particular desire to be / become a moaner but, nor do I see any point of omitting mention of the sundry aches and, occasionally searing, pains ones flesh is heir to. For good or not so good, I am the result of all my life experiences whether chosen by or imposed upon me.


You may have previously gathered that this has not been one of my better years, any kind of relapse is unwelcome but, I still remain grateful that I have not had to plumb the most excruciating depths this wretched illness (M.E.) can deal out. I am most fortunate in only being a moderate sufferer but, even that moderation has at times proved quite intensely disabling.


And now, for the fifth or sixth time in as many days, I return to this same page in ‘Word’ in the hope that a sufficiency of stamina and a release from having to clasp my upper arms tightly to my torso (to alleviate the intense discomfort emanating from my armpits in normal free flow positions) may coincide to enable the completion of this posting.


The sharp nauseating ache and throb in the armpit is a tactile equivalent to chalk “squealing” across a blackboard. At other times an unexpected sound, not even necessarily of sufficient decibels to call a noise, can seem to sear through my flesh and crush the ribs. It’s almost as if my nerve-ends, in attempting to tread carefully on eggshells, all too startlingly draw ones attention to their own discretionary priorities.


I must admit to some uncomfortable guilt feelings in, once again, being / feeling unable to contemplate a few days away whilst my beloved has a break from work; to be honest, I even have to steel myself to cope with trips out to locations within ten or twenty minutes drive from home.


On the plus side I did manage a visit, with ma belle, to a local garden centre on Thursday and, we really enjoyed a visit to ‘Brio’ for a delicious meal yesterday afternoon. In the evening we immersed ourselves in Almadovar’s movie ‘All about My Mother’ which we’d recorded from Film 4. At lunch time today, accompanied by Cathy, we popped around to Café Culture for a little light lunch before returning home to wallow in the emotional riches of ‘Toy Story 3’.

Now the day is over ...

Another day draws to a close and, I offer a grateful sigh that the latter part of the day has been so much better for me than all that preceded it. Once more, in spite of the presence of a breeze, the heat proved quite oppressive. Even in the cooler part of the day my beloved noted that I was ‘roasting’; my body thermostat, which is always erratic, seems to have set itself to maintain maximum temperature at all times. Whether the breeze is supplied as a natural air current or, assisted by an electrical fan, it does little to prevent me ‘burning up’.

As the day went by, I felt increasingly frustrated and despondent with my inability to settle down to any task I set myself; no sooner had I started surfing the web than it seemed like time to ‘shut down’, the shut down of the machine reflecting that of my powers of concentration. By late afternoon, I seemed to be teetering on the edge of a depression, an acute bout of melancholia. Were I in perfectly good health, I still would be affected by the excessive humidity but, currently I feel totally defeated by it.

On a more positive note, I did manage to venture out for a brief brisk walk, in the company of my beloved, before settling down to preparation of a beef curry for tomorrows lunch. Having completed this domestic chore, we sat down to watch and enjoy Hitchcock’s ‘The 39 Steps’; I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve seen this particular movie but, it never ceases to entertain. The accompanying beverage was a bottle of Edward’s Lake Unoaked Chardonnay, 2003, a quite straightforward but nonetheless satisfying product of NSW.

The possibility of sleep lures me towards the bedroom, having emerged from the duvet realm a full twelve hours ago. With these words, I bid any readers good night.