looking out the window

just random shots through our living room window -

our verdant garden

Hopefully - just a little phase I'm going through!

I really hate that sudden feeling of confusion, an un-preparedness to pursue that task or goal which, only a few moments before, you knew you were fully capable of fulfilling. It's not even anything out of the usual, perhaps even part of a regular routine, that suddenly becomes daunting. Even one's thoughts seem to be jumbled up, impossible to decipher. 

Quite a while since I last experienced that but, yesterday, it suddenly hit me and I can't even remember what the task was that I either completed or cancelled. At lunch-time today it seemed more like a panic attack as I began preparation for this evenings meal; I'm rather pleased with myself that I was able to continue despite a sense of emotional exhaustion.

Glands, at side of my neck and under my chin, have been feeling a kind of sharp bruised tenderness for a couple of days now whilst my eyes have reacted with extreme sensitivity, spasmodically and hopefully very temporarily, towards any light source -  a kind of sensory overload. Sudden waves of overwhelming exhaustion, as if something's achingly gnawing through my bones as well as muscles, serve to remind me of my quite routine state of being for months at a time during the past decade.

The bright side is that it has made me feel most grateful for a fairly sustained run of reasonably good days. I'm just hoping and praying that I'm not heading for a total relapse.

Emetic Virus - alarming symptoms from overexposure

With ever increasing exposure to its spouting puce physiognomy, one can't help but feel that there is very little hope for those in society without the necessary wealth inheriting, tax avoiding, gene. This is a bold virus that strives to batter the economically unfortunate, and the disabled, into submission rather than replicating itself. Other viruses of similar status tend to thrive as bloodsuckers.

This particular virus emanated from Eton, transmitted via  an Oxford-Bullingdon Syndrome, and is sustained through excessive exposure on BBC and some other TV channels.

Whenever this vile puce spouting physiognomy appears, my immediate response is an urgent desire to vomit, accompanied by an uncontrollabble explosion of expletives. Surely someone with a mature humanitarian conscience could produce an antidote for this pernicious disease. 

EASTER DAY

 

Colour comes back into life – overwhelms the morbid grey – despite their defeat with the death of their leader, it wasn’t long before the disciples were enabled to boldly proclaim the good news – something miraculous had occurred, these frightened and despairing social misfits were transformed – that’s the experience of RESURRECTION!

Easter Greetings

Mal moans and murmurs

I've just put a new posting, shake me and I'll rattle - but I don't know when, on my Mal's Murmuring blog. It's on the topics of aches, pains and medications.

Moany Moany not Mony Mony

"Which way do I turn?" and "dare I turn?"; these related questions come to the fore at erratically scattered instants of day or night. In the past few days, tortuous pains have danced from left side of the back (a hollow bruising ache just below the shoulder blade, as if one was undergoing a sequence of blows from a felt coated lead lump hammer) to a more acute nagging pain in the left side of the back just above hip level. These sensations tend to overlap with a more constantly recurring gnawing ache just under the rib cage and, other old familiars returning with a vengeance. 

 A nausea inducing throbbing pain, on the inner side of the upper left arm - accompanied by a tenderness in the armpit, frequently prevents my attaining an appropriate period of rest during the night. As exhaustion overtakes me mid-afternoon, a gnawing ache, occasionally becoming more acute, in wrists and elbows necessitates the donning of wrist splints (both arms) and the taking of additional pain killers.Today, this discomfort in upper limbs vied for honours with a throbbing pain around the knees which seemed to ease slightly with the donning of elastic supports.

 A sensation of giddy light-headedness, alongside not infrequent griping reminders of my IBS and diverticular problems, does little to help me feel at ease. Despite all the above, I did manage to enjoy a celebratory lunch at The Park yesterday for our wedding anniversary but, even that didn't come payback free!

quite a beak full!

back to NORMALITY?

So much of our lives are spent simply letting regular life experiences wash over us. Passive recipients of what ever opportunities life offers us we, of necessity, avoid reacting to most peripheral events. Life goes on as normal but we may suddenly be ambushed by limitations to what has, so far, been our normality. On many occasions the limitation may simply be with regard to the specific situation, in which one finds oneself, for which we have had no prior experience or necessary practice. 

Variety happens but, it does not always seem to add spice to life; as a matter of fact much of the variety may be of an unwelcome kind. Health-wise it has been a case of swings and roundabouts; just as one celebrates alleviation of a particular neurological symptom they seem to stumble upon a variant manifestation of the same underlying condition.

This morning, my body reminded me of the limitations imposed by a combination of neurological illness and the general aging process. It is almost as if there are (at least) two distinct normalities, that of the mind and spirit struggling with that of pure corporeality.

 It is several years now since I first had to learn, experientially (the hard way), how to pace myself; having reluctantly accepted that I must now function on/from a lower plateau, than was my earlier norm, I still feel a sense of shock when any jolting reminder of this limitation catches me out.

As the sun was shining, I set out this morning, with a walking-stick supported spring in my step, to collect a prescription from my GP’s surgery, a loaf of bread and a bottle of milk. The Surgery isn’t any  more than a seven to eight minute walk (even accounting for my limitations) and the bakery and grocery stores are passed en route. That would seem to be a little light exercise but, I hadn’t accounted for meeting up with a couple of friends during this restricted travel. I stopped and spoke to my first friend J for two to three minutes and a couple of minutes further on in the expedition encountered  friend C with whom I had a little chat. 

On arriving at the Surgery’s reception I had a couple of minutes wait before I picked up my prescription; by this time I was feeling quite light-headed and aching limbed. What I’d forgotten was that, as part of my current ‘normality’, standing to chat seems to reduce my stamina levels more swiftly than the brief walk itself! It was with great relief that I was able to sit down for ten minutes at the local pharmacy, in the same parade of shops as the grocery and bakery shops’ whilst they dispensed my sundry medications. By the time I got back home I was feeling achingly shattered!

*****

I suppose that this ‘shatteredness’ shouldn’t have been so surprising, considering that the previous couple of days had been quite eventful, even incorporating a visit to A&E and a consequent overnight stay in the hospital.

Saturday morning, at about 2.30am, a sudden sharp bruised pain down the left hand side of my rib cage, accompanied by an acute stitch-like pain emphatically (horizontally) underlining the breast bone. The pain seemed to ease as I clasped the painful area with my right hand and, it eventually disappeared after about fifteen minutes. So far, so good but, the bruised aching pain kept nagging away at regular intervals in the course of the day. Around 8.00pm, the pain returned with a pallor inducing vengeance; a hollow giddiness occupying head and torso left me feeling quite disembodied. At this time my beloved repeated an earlier offer to take me down to A&E and, this time, I instantly accepted.

The receptionist (at A&E) thought I needed to sit down and said that ma belle could log me in. Although my blood pressure went soaring, I was relieved that the ECG showed normal coronary activity. When the doctor examined me she suggested that I had a chest x-ray and blood tests but, as a follow up blood test would be required in the middle of the night, had me admitted to hospital. The doctor had inserted a cannula in the back of my hand which unfortunately, and somewhat dramatically, fell out as I moved into the X-Ray department leaving a splendid crimson blood trail on the floor. The nurse swiftly grabbed a pad to which I applied pressure to stop the flow from the distended vein, whilst he swiftly mopped and disinfected the contaminated floor area.    

Eventually a porter wheeled me up to Bolton Ward where they initially set me up on a heart monitor. Everyone with whom I had contact on this ward made me feel like a person, rather than a client, leaving me most impressed with their friendly and efficient attention to their duties. The clinical support auxiliary very swiftly, and without any fuss, cannulated the median cubital vein; nursing staff always seem to perform these tasks better than doctors, presumably because they have more experience.

My second lot of blood samples were taken at around 3.00am on Sunday and later the doctor told me that the tests were negative. Once this was ascertained a nurse came and removed the heart monitor. By 10.50am my discharge papers had been prepared and, I only had to await ma belle chauffeuse to whisk me back home. I was assured by both ward sister and the duty consultant that, even though the pain was musculoskeletal rather than cardiac in origin, ma belle had done exactly the right thing in taking me to A&E.

It was wonderful, and seemed extra special, to share Sunday lunch (which I had partially prepared the previous afternoon) with my beloved but then, every moment shared with my better half is very special.

FRAUD ALERT - Nutriberry Slim and Vita Cleanse

Having been enticed and misled by their (Nutriberry Slim and Vita Cleanse) advert on a Facebook page, at the end of August, my beloved sent for a free sample of each product, albeit for an extortionate post and packaging charge.

Shortly after receiving them her blood pressure was raised from her normal reading and her GP confirmed that there were ingredients which could have that effect.

Meanwhile I looked up the product online* and found that this company was defrauding people of substantial sums of money. They treat the request for a sample as a subscription agreement, so, we began to worry and immediately contacted the credit card company,
with a view to closing the credit card account/cancelling the card, but a lady assured her that they would block any attempt to take further payment.

On 9 September we received notification of RMA numbers from Nutriberry and Vita Cleanse to use with our returned product as follows:

From: Nutriberry Slim <502@helpdesk.emailcenterpro.com>
Date: 10 September 2013 15:32
Subject: RMA Notification #XXXXX
To: XXXXXXXX

RMA Notification

Order Number: XXXXXX Ordered on 08/31/2013 03:37am   Dear xxxxxxxx, This email is to inform you that we have received your request to return your order of Nutriberry Slim - Trial, which was originally purchased on 08/31/2013 03:37am for the total amount of £4.95. We have also issued you an RMA number: XXXXXXXXXX  that you can use for future reference. If you have any questions about this notification or if you feel you are receiving this in error, please feel free to contact our Customer Service team.

From: Vita Cleanse <503@helpdesk.emailcenterpro.com>
Date: 10 September 2013 15:32
Subject: RMA Notification #XXXXX
To: XXXXXXXXX  

RMA Notification

Order Number: XXXXX Ordered on 08/31/2013 03:40am   Dear XXXXXXXXX, This email is to inform you that we have received your request to return your order of Vita Cleanse - Trial, which was originally purchased on 08/31/2013 03:40am for the total amount of £5.95. We have also issued you an RMA number: XXXXXXXXXXXXX  that you can use for future reference. If you have any questions about this notification or if you feel you are receiving this in error, please feel free to contact our Customer Service team.

The next day, 10 September, ma belle dispatched the returned products by the most expensive Next Day postal delivery (where the parcel had to be signed for on receipt}.

The company waited, however, until 1.28am on 10 October before sending      confirmation of cancellation.

From: Nutriberry Slim <502@helpdesk.emailcenterpro.com>
Date: 10 October 2013 06:28
Subject: Cancellation Notification #XXXXXX
To: XXXXXXX

Cancellation Notification

Order Number: XXXXXX Ordered on 10/10/2013 01:28am   Dear XXXXXXX, Thank you for using Nutriberry Slim - Rebill. This email is to inform you that your subscription status has been recently updated and any ongoing or all future charges have been cancelled as per your request. If you have any questions about the cancellation of this subscription, or if you would like to re-activate the same in the future, please feel free to contact our Customer Service team.

From: Vita Cleanse <503@helpdesk.emailcenterpro.com>
Date: 10 October 2013 06:28
Subject: Cancellation Notification #XXXXXX
To: xxxxxxxxxx@xxxxx>

Cancellation Notification

Order Number: xxxxxx Ordered on 10/10/2013 01:28am   Dear xxxxx, Thank you for using Vita Cleanse - Rebill. This email is to inform you that your subscription status has been recently updated and any ongoing or all future charges have been cancelled as per your request. If you have any questions about the cancellation of this subscription, or if you would like to re-activate the same in the future, please feel free to contact our Customer Service team.

When my beloved received a statement from her credit card company, today, she was dismayed to find that £84.99 (Nutriberry Slim) and £69.95 (Vita Cleanse) had been charged to her account on the 10 October despite the sample product having been returned one full month earlier. So much for the credit card personnel who assured her that the would block any such attempt to charge for a product which we neither receive or use!

This evening my extremely upset wife has had to contact her credit card company once more.

*********
*

*For more information concerning this scam visit http://www.dietpillswatchdog.com/nutriberry-slim-review/