utilized day but what a night

And yesterday I was gifted with a little extra stamina and, I also felt capable of correctly pacing my utilisation of this resource.  Took advantage of this little power surge to top-up and refill the sundry avian feeding stations in our garden; meal worms, sunflower hearts, black sunflower seeds, suet treats etc. most of which swiftly attracted a miscellany of birds ranging from starlings, blackbirds, finches, blue, coal and great tits, collared doves and the odd wood pigeon were all ready for some superior dining experience. I swiftly realised that all the birds’ watering stations needed de-icing so heated up some water.

Already my halo was shining and, I felt totally in control of my physical stamina resource. Mid-afternoon was time to sort out the main aquarium, changing 30 litres (out of the tanks 180litres) and changing nitrate removal filter and a couple of others. Proud of my achievement I relaxed a little before par-boiling a few potatoes, ready for roasting alongside the already simmering casserole which I’d prepared on Sunday.

That’s when the tiredness hit but, fortunately, not uncomfortably so. Come bedtime, I started to feel that I was being punished for the day’s moderate exertions. Perhaps I’m not handling my pacing all that well. Tenderness of the glands under my chin and in the armpits seemed to be sufficiently calmed by a fairly light dose of painkillers but, obviously I’d been deceived again!

Having joined my beloved au lit, decided to watch a diverting little sitcom on TV before snuggling down.  Within about ten minutes of attempting to settle down, the peripatetic clog dancers decided my lower limbs were an ideal place to practice. The duvet felt as if it was scrubbing the skin off my toes as a nausea inducing bruised aching feeling ambled from calf to thigh and back again. Whatever angle I positioned my legs bent or straight, stretched over the end of the bed, hung out over the bed side, the disconcerting ache continued. At one stage I half fell from the bed, my right calf resting on the rug whilst my left lower limb remained in bed, a real groin stretching experience. I can assure you that this posture wasn’t the result of any voluntary action.

Next thing, the old familiar nauseating aches in both arms began to do their darnedest; applying wrist support splints initially seemed to make little difference. I found myself unwittingly whispering, and occasionally screaming, profanities against the Gethsemane night, alongside whimpering like a lonely puppy. Many hours later I started to enjoy a little post-dawn sleep.

Reluctantly, I emerged from the duvet lair, and returned morning greetings to the bright shiny sun!

sunshine and celebration

Sometimes it seems as if the day is almost over before I even get started. In one way this is good, it’s generally a sign that I’m appreciating each waking moment, so much so that it’s sometimes a real struggle to stop myself resenting the earth’s rapid orbit.  Recently we’ve been sighting a bright glowing orb in the sky, bringing a little warmth and elevating one’s spirit; after weeks of dull wet days the sunshine has proved most welcome.

As my beloved took a few days off work, around the time of our wedding anniversary, time seems to pass even more sweetly as we enjoy each other’s company. Visits to Café Culture, for a cuppa and cakes, and Al Bivio Ristorante helped heighten the sense of celebration. We also paid a visit to the garden centre at Otley where I acquired a new bird feeding station for the garden, finally using the vouchers that I’d received for my birthday last June; although the centre is less than ten miles away this was the first time I’d really felt up to spending a little time there browsing around. I especially enjoyed looking at the reptiles in the centre’s pet shop.

Meantime, I’ve acquired 5 more golden and 5 white cloud minnows which, having first spent ten days in my quarantine tank,  have now been added to the Main aquarium.  It’s really quite strange that, having introduced my beloved OH to blogging. I have to check out Helen’s blog to see what I’ve been up to!

On Wednesday I had an appointment with my GP, a lesion on my leg, which I’d been attempting to alleviate with a 1% hydrocortisone preparation, wasn’t showing any improvement (quite the opposite in fact) so I was going to see the doctor who specialized more in skin disorders. He was quite baffled by this particular sore spot, it was quite unlike anything he was familiar with, definitely not discoid eczema or Bowens etc;  so he prescribed a potent topical corticosteroid (Mometasone Furoate) which I’ve to apply once a day for a fortnight. He also checked a small occasionally weeping lesion on my chest which he says is a basal cell carcinoma and has duly referred me to the District Hospital. [I’ve had previous experience of having a bcc excised – see ‘Sunshine and Blanket Stitch’] If the ointment applied to my leg hasn’t healed the lesion he suggests I also have the specialist look at that when I have my appointment for the bcc!

Another positive outcome of the visit was to confirm that the recent X-Ray of my hips, following a quite prolonged period of chronic pain, apparently emanating from the right hip, showed no abnormality on the right hand side but, it did show that I had arthiritis on the left-hand side. Fortunately, after copious doses of tramadol & co-codamol the pain had eventually abated!

I received a further acupuncture treatment on Thursday and, I’m no longer averse to expecting resultant miracles. Life goes on and I’m determined to enjoy it – if only I could discover some refreshing sleep all manner of things would be well!   

of bugs and fishy business

Nausea, dizziness, diarrhoea are sadly all too frequently experienced by yours truly; as a result the symptoms have to reach some crisis point before I’ll seek medical help. Such was the case towards the end of last week when a bug really did lay me low. On the Wednesday I’d felt giddily disorientated from the moment I first attempted to raise myself from the bed and get dressed; for most of the day I rested on the sofa and, by mid-afternoon, managed to eat a small portion of poached smoked haddock in spite of the onset of nausea.

 

Later that day I was due to carry out the second treatment of my aquarium for white spot disease but, reluctantly had to delegate this task to ma belle OH. It really is quite a rigmarole changing 36 – 40 litres of water every five days, vacuuming the gravel before renewing the treatment dosage. Fortunately, today, I felt up to the task that being my primary workload!

 

By Thursday morning even sipping water made me feel like retching and just the thought of food was enough to make me feel queasy. My beloved, from her workplace, had ‘phoned my GP practice to see if she could make an emergency appointment. The duty doctor called her back and said that it could be a reaction to the sertraline, which had been prescribed for me on the 17^th October [the day I wrote my “Breach of Composure” post], at first suggesting that I should maybe try half a tablet, but then arranged for me to see a doctor later that day.

 

Having been chauffeured and hand-delivered to the surgery door by ma belle, the doctor I saw thought it unlikely that the reaction to the medication would have been so delayed. Having checked my temperature, blood pressure, and examined my acutely sensitive abdominal area, she surmised that I’d caught a bug and prescribed rest and plenty of fluids. She was more concerned about my lack of fluid intake rather than my lack of appetite (for food), she prescribed domperidone to help counter the nausea. It feels really great to have much of my appetite restored, even though my stamina reserves are even more depleted than usual.

 

 

 

Of LIMITATIONS and ENJOYMENT

OF LIMITATIONS and ENJOYMENT

Middle of the night and nature called; an attempted leap out of bed became the more familiar slowly lumbering self removal only, this time, with added difficulties. For the past two or three days the back pains had all but disappeared, only the more regular  discomfort remaining in its stead but, now it seems to have returned with a vengeance. It’s strange how one’s own body delights in playing tricks; just when you think it safe, to carry out an effort of moderate exertion, it sends out a disconcerting alarm signal. If only that signal was as transient as that of an alarm clock, disappearing as soon as one taps the necessary button, there would not be a problem but, unfortunately, these signals are not of that peremptory nature which curtails one’s pursuit of the (unwittingly) harmful course of action. These signals always seem to arrive after the harm has been done, swiftly transmuting the alarm call into a sustained aggravation.

So, you may well wonder, what transgression had I committed against my ailing torso? All I’d been doing was carrying out a partial filter and water change in our largest aquarium, changing two of the filter pads and performing a less than 20% water change. I could (almost) swear that I carefully controlled my posture during the entire operation, to minimize the risk of detrimental health effects, but my body makes a different declaration.

Prior to that minor operation I’d made a visit, with my beloved chauffeuse, to the local aquarists to replenish necessary supplies. The journey is approximately 2 ½ miles but, as is becoming an increasingly common experience, it felt like a major expedition; even travelling at speeds which never exceed the legal limit, on primarily suburban roads, can seem  like  we’re exceeding Mach 1 – my body  crying out in reaction to the velocity at which we’re hurtling through space. 

The whole sensory overload experience seems once again, and most regrettably, to be edging its way into taking control of my lived experience. I’m just hoping and praying that I won’t tumble once again into that convulsively shattering realm.

Strange as it may seem, apart from the sundry ailments which posit substantial limitations on my activities, I do continue to enjoy life. The simple pleasure of observing, and encouraging, the flora and fauna of our garden is a wonderful joy bringer, second only to the presence of my beloved. As I’m no longer able to cope with cinema or theatre-going, the increasingly wide range of films available on DVD proves a real blessing. My enjoyment of cooking, provided a fair range of herbs and spices are to hand, is another source of pleasure, as is the consumption of the end product! I must admit that much of the time I don’t really feel unwell, sundry muscular and glandular aches and spasms have quite simply become an accepted component of normality; it’s only when i attempt to stretch my activity output that I’m quite forcefully reminded of my limitations.

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in case you missed yesterday's frivolous posting on 'Mal's Murmurings' I've repeated it here :

A Nation’s Addiction?

A radio news bulletin informs me that we’re becoming a nation of TV addicts, adding “according to a survey of viewers“!

They should try surveying non-viewers, only to discover that nobody ever watches TV in the UK!

 

almost caught myself apologizing

Once again, and quite irrationally, I'm feeling guilty at not having posted a blog for a goodly number of days; it's not as if anyone out there is dependent on a regular fix of Sinna Luvva's words. My first thought is always one of how lazy I've been, ignoring the sundry other purposes to which my limited stamina reserves have been applied.

Perhaps I should concentrate on how many things I've been able to manage / achieve in spite of the sundry discomforting ailments my flesh is heir to. The removal, cleaning, and subsequent repositioning, of the large ornamental rock from the 180 litre aquarium requires a few rather awkward manouevres which always requires a much greater effort than one would anticipate, has now been carried out for the first time in many months. In the past few weeks, I've also got back into a more regular gravel vacuuming routine for the same aquarium and, I've finally regained control of the necessary filtration changes to maintain the best water quality.

Meantime, Callie is back in the quarantine tank receiving treatment for a bit of finrot, a condition that won't have been helped by the bullying behaviour of Reggie, a considerably larger female fantail goldfish. Admittedly my first (guilt) reaction was that I'd been neglectful of water conditions in the main aquarium during a recent protracted period of ill health (beyond my routinely irritating ailments).

Having got myself back into maintenance routines, I became aware of the need to replace the lighting tubes in both aquariums, a task now resolved but unfortunately not inexpensively so. It's amazing how easy it is to fail to note the gradual diminishing light quality of the fluorescent tubes; that could probably account for some of the recently experienced more prominent algae problems.

In the wider world, much pottering about in the garden has brought about some almost noticeable transformations - perhaps it's time to polish up my halo! And, as if that wasn't enough, I've even managed a modest amount of socializing, easily worth the almost inevitable (albeit of a more moderate nature than anticpated) degree of achingly exhausted setback.

Perhaps I will, eventually, get back into the blogging habit.

An Ordinary Privileged Life

I seem to have been so busy enjoying life, since my appetite (for food and a few other perks) returned, that I'm left wondering where the time has gone. To be able, once again, to enjoy cooking feels like such a tremendous privilege (and, I suppose that as part of the global community we really do belong to a privileged group insofar as we don't have to worry about where our next meal is coming from). Even simple chores, like watering the tomato plants or giving the lawn a quick trim, have taken a whole new dimension - no longer chores but rather pleasurable activities. I've even managed to catch up with some essential ( and probably overdue) filter cleaning and replacement in the 180 litre aquarium. Come to that, I even got around to vacuuming the gravel as well sorting out the distressed aquatic plants.

The most important recent event is the commencement of my beloved's holiday, by which I mean she has a few days off work! Earlier in the year, we had contemplated another visit to the south coast, to stay with my brother and his wife, but having had frequent difficulties with travelling (even locally at times) ever since the onset of M.E., recent health setbacks have definitely ruled out this prospect. Mind you, there's always plenty of sorting out to do in both the garden and the house; fortunately, we enjoy each others company, so I'm really looking forward to quite simply basking in the close proximity of ma belle.

At lunchtime today we popped out to Cafe Culture, for a delicious light lunch, before heading over to the aquatic shop where we duly acquired five additional white cloud, and three golden, minnows to gently introduce to our aquarium. It's wonderful to note how swiftly they became part of a pre-existing shoal, with only an infrequent display of bickering!

Having prepared a casserole, for tomorrow's lunch, we settled down to enjoy a recording of the Rodgers & Hammerstein Promenade Concert which was being shown on BBC2 - a really fun start to a Bank Holiday weekend.