The good news is that I had the best night’s sleep that I’ve managed for ages. The surprising thing is that I’d already spent large chunks of the day, yesterday, collapsing into sleep at times when the miscellaneous aches and feelings of nausea and distress allowed this relief. So, it appears that my body had a lot of catching up to do!
Having just emerged from the duvet-lair and, feeling semi-alert, it’s too soon to know whether I’ve recovered from yesterday’s emotional trough. Trouble is, whenever I have these ‘setbacks’ it takes its toll on my beloved as well as me! To be a physical and emotional wreck is not a vocational choice and, I long for the day when I can get back to the energy levels (both physical and emotional) that will allow me to get on with some painting and a little bit of socializing. Meanwhile, in this day the Lord has made, I will attempt to rejoice and be glad.
Strange to think that a “good night’s sleep” is such a newsworthy event; lets hope that it can become a new habit (there’s nothing wrong with a bit of wishful thinking now and again).
5.00pm - A postscript to this item can be found on Heterocon's 'blog.
- living and frequently struggling with moderate M.E. -
where (bad) health, faith, politics and the joys and troubles of daily life collide.
ME
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Saturday, January 21, 2006
The unheeding bastards are still on the march
The saga continues. When my beloved contacted the DWP in York, yesterday, the person she spoke to ensured her that “yes indeed, the protocol is that we contact your GP and, we will see to that”. This morning a letter arrives from Jobcentre Plus (Part of the Department for Work and Pensions) in York with the following contents:
“I understand you would like a home visit, to get a home visit you will need to ask your own doctor for a covering letter to say why you need a home visit.
You could also telephone the centre in Leeds who arranged your appointment and ask them to arrange a home visit giving them details of why you need a home visit. …..
I am sorry I am unable to do this for you, the Medical Services team have asked that you telephone the above number as soon as possible for your appointment and request for a home visit.”
Remember, this Medical Services team are the very same ones who rang me and, to whom I explained the reasons why a home visit would be appropriate. They are also the ones who asked me to obtain a covering letter from my GP. My GP, when I had made the effort to visit him, explained that the protocol was for them to contact him … blah, blah, blah!
And, above all, remember my request was made on the form submitted to the DWP just over three months ago!
My health, which recently seemed to be showing modest signs of improvement, now seems to be heading towards a sharp decline.
“I understand you would like a home visit, to get a home visit you will need to ask your own doctor for a covering letter to say why you need a home visit.
You could also telephone the centre in Leeds who arranged your appointment and ask them to arrange a home visit giving them details of why you need a home visit. …..
I am sorry I am unable to do this for you, the Medical Services team have asked that you telephone the above number as soon as possible for your appointment and request for a home visit.”
Remember, this Medical Services team are the very same ones who rang me and, to whom I explained the reasons why a home visit would be appropriate. They are also the ones who asked me to obtain a covering letter from my GP. My GP, when I had made the effort to visit him, explained that the protocol was for them to contact him … blah, blah, blah!
And, above all, remember my request was made on the form submitted to the DWP just over three months ago!
My health, which recently seemed to be showing modest signs of improvement, now seems to be heading towards a sharp decline.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Medical Services?
I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to ‘ATOS Origin IT Services UK Ltd’ aka ‘MEDICAL SERVICES Provided on behalf of the Department for Work and Pensions’ for enabling me to cough my lungs up this morning, a result of an excessive inhalation of tar and nicotine in response to the stress they have caused!
Yesterday I reported on the breach of protocol, which I attributed to the DWP itself rather than their running dogs. Today I received, from MEDICAL SERVICES (aka ATOS Origin), a compliment slip with the hand written message “Please provide a letter from your GP to confirm …..Etc”, together with a reply paid envelope. At least my confidence is restored, to the extent that I hadn’t misunderstood their incorrect telephonically communicated instructions of the 18th inst, which made me feel something of a fool at yesterday’s GP appointment.
Meantime my beloved has managed to communicate, telephonically, with the DWP in York who have cancelled my appointment in the ‘locked box’ for 9 February and, they will be contacting my GP as per protocol.
The question now is, do I respond to the so-called MEDICAL SERVICES in Leeds?
Yesterday I reported on the breach of protocol, which I attributed to the DWP itself rather than their running dogs. Today I received, from MEDICAL SERVICES (aka ATOS Origin), a compliment slip with the hand written message “Please provide a letter from your GP to confirm …..Etc”, together with a reply paid envelope. At least my confidence is restored, to the extent that I hadn’t misunderstood their incorrect telephonically communicated instructions of the 18th inst, which made me feel something of a fool at yesterday’s GP appointment.
Meantime my beloved has managed to communicate, telephonically, with the DWP in York who have cancelled my appointment in the ‘locked box’ for 9 February and, they will be contacting my GP as per protocol.
The question now is, do I respond to the so-called MEDICAL SERVICES in Leeds?
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Silly Faffing Games
Further to yesterday’s posting, A Regressive Impulse, the stress continues to mount. Following the advice of the anonymous caller from Medical Services (linked to the DWP), I summoned up the courage, and reserves of emotional stamina, to make and keep an appointment with my GP. This was to find out if he would be prepared to send them a note to confirm that a 'home visit' medical would be more suitable for me.
As soon as I mentioned the nature of my visit, the doctor informed me that the anonymous caller’s suggestion was a breach of protocol. The protocol, unsurprisingly, is that they (the DWP or their medical agents) contact the GP but, he did suggest that he felt a home visit would be more appropriate!
So, having had my completed form for three months, it seems that the Department of Work and Pensions are practising a cheap emotional blackmail with the now pressurised timescale, or perhaps they are quite simply incompetent! My beloved will attempt to contact the relevant section of DWP to ask them to contact my GP, following the correct protocol, as the calendar buzzes around my head.
I had intended to go to an Exhibition Preview this evening, which would have been only my second real social outing in the past year, but now, I feel rather too exhausted and nauseous to contemplate such an expenditure of energy.
My grateful thanks go out to Tony Blair’s Uncivil Service.
Feeling more charitable, I paraphrase a couple of lines from Philip Larkin (Poet and Librarian of my alma mater):
“They f*ck you up, D W P.
They may not mean to, but they do.”
As soon as I mentioned the nature of my visit, the doctor informed me that the anonymous caller’s suggestion was a breach of protocol. The protocol, unsurprisingly, is that they (the DWP or their medical agents) contact the GP but, he did suggest that he felt a home visit would be more appropriate!
So, having had my completed form for three months, it seems that the Department of Work and Pensions are practising a cheap emotional blackmail with the now pressurised timescale, or perhaps they are quite simply incompetent! My beloved will attempt to contact the relevant section of DWP to ask them to contact my GP, following the correct protocol, as the calendar buzzes around my head.
I had intended to go to an Exhibition Preview this evening, which would have been only my second real social outing in the past year, but now, I feel rather too exhausted and nauseous to contemplate such an expenditure of energy.
My grateful thanks go out to Tony Blair’s Uncivil Service.
Feeling more charitable, I paraphrase a couple of lines from Philip Larkin (Poet and Librarian of my alma mater):
“They f*ck you up, D W P.
They may not mean to, but they do.”
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
A Regressive Impulse
Three months after submitting my Incapacity Form to the DWP, suggesting that a home visit would be more appropriate than visiting the ‘locked box’ waiting room in York for a medical, I received a phone call this afternoon from Medical Services. Within a few minutes the smoky tarry contents of my nicotine sticks were being consumed at an excessive rate! Their intention is to arrange an appointment in York’s claustrophobic box for February 9th.
However, if I can get my GP to write a few lines, to say that a home visit would be more suitable, that appointment will be over-ridden. Already, the palpitations are at hand as my pulse races and a general feeling of nausea overwhelms me.
My thoughts race too; what a bloody fool I was, futilely struggling to remain at work until the end of 2003 despite ailing health. Had I yielded sooner then, perhaps, my health would not have plummeted to such uncomfortable depths. I curse, once more, the day that the Protestant Work Ethic was infused into my soul.
After the best ten days or so, I have experienced (within my limitations) health-wise, for the past eighteen months, it is almost as if I feel a pall descending to cover and devour this progress.
However, if I can get my GP to write a few lines, to say that a home visit would be more suitable, that appointment will be over-ridden. Already, the palpitations are at hand as my pulse races and a general feeling of nausea overwhelms me.
My thoughts race too; what a bloody fool I was, futilely struggling to remain at work until the end of 2003 despite ailing health. Had I yielded sooner then, perhaps, my health would not have plummeted to such uncomfortable depths. I curse, once more, the day that the Protestant Work Ethic was infused into my soul.
After the best ten days or so, I have experienced (within my limitations) health-wise, for the past eighteen months, it is almost as if I feel a pall descending to cover and devour this progress.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Reporting for duty
Having ventured out for an early morning meeting at the Health Centre, I feel just about ready for my second snooze of the day. At least I now have the sense of achievement attached to having kept that appointment! The meeting proved much more satisfactory than I had anticipated.
At lunchtime the casserole, prepared on Saturday, made a welcome return to the oven and the dining table. The extra ‘standing day’ seems to enhance the flavour of an already enticing dish.
Post lunch, I retired to a cosily supporting fireside chair, legs elevated on an appropriate support stool whilst I listened, half attentively, to an excellent afternoon play on Radio 4. The ‘half’ attention was due to my state of exhaustion rather than the drama’s calibre.
In retrospect, I’m quite surprised just how (reasonably) alert I had been during the morning’s meeting. Despite the shockingly early (by my standards) start to the day, I still find it easy to say “I rejoice and am glad in this day the Lord has made”.
At lunchtime the casserole, prepared on Saturday, made a welcome return to the oven and the dining table. The extra ‘standing day’ seems to enhance the flavour of an already enticing dish.
Post lunch, I retired to a cosily supporting fireside chair, legs elevated on an appropriate support stool whilst I listened, half attentively, to an excellent afternoon play on Radio 4. The ‘half’ attention was due to my state of exhaustion rather than the drama’s calibre.
In retrospect, I’m quite surprised just how (reasonably) alert I had been during the morning’s meeting. Despite the shockingly early (by my standards) start to the day, I still find it easy to say “I rejoice and am glad in this day the Lord has made”.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Dr Gillian McKeith - dubious nutrition advice by Gillian McKeith - "You Are What You Eat"
When my wife watched the first TV series by this personality, I coined the pet name "the anorexic witch" for this "Dr". This page grants her the appropriate degree of respect that my affection for her demands! Highly entertaining and a tad worrying.
Dr Gillian McKeith - dubious nutrition advice by Gillian McKeith - "You Are What You Eat"
Dr Gillian McKeith - dubious nutrition advice by Gillian McKeith - "You Are What You Eat"
... and early afternoon
My beloved has returned, from her visit to Sheila (her retired vicar friend) on the outskirts of York and, has indeed restored the brightness to my day! I welcome her flying visit home, although she will soon be venturing out again for a lunchtime appointment, with members of her German conversation group, at the local ‘Brewers Fayre’.
Ma belle amoureuse smiles and, all is right with the world!
Ma belle amoureuse smiles and, all is right with the world!
New every morning ...
As I look out at the world, through bleary half-gummed eyes, the dull and drear drizzly scene doesn’t exactly proffer joie de vivre; never mind, the day is still young and, when my beloved returns from her morning’s outing I will have all the brightness I need.
Twelve and a half hours of sleep, from which must be subtracted the night-sweat disruptions, has left me feeling quite drowsy; a bruised sensation around the ribs has the habit of reminding me that I am indeed awake and, in this knowledge, I move on towards my goal … whatever that may be!
Twelve and a half hours of sleep, from which must be subtracted the night-sweat disruptions, has left me feeling quite drowsy; a bruised sensation around the ribs has the habit of reminding me that I am indeed awake and, in this knowledge, I move on towards my goal … whatever that may be!
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