Clearing The Air

The last employment I had, before my present bout of ill health, was as Caretaker / Steward at my local Parish Church. The ill health actually started whilst I was still in that employment, a fact which was soon to be overlooked by the Vicar. Throughout the employment, I received much praise for my dedication and commitment above and beyond the hours for which I received remuneration.

Frequently, whilst suffering various minor ailments (and even flu-like symptoms), a bout of labyrinthitis etc. .. I continued to labour there, even whilst undergoing chiropractic treatment for a frozen shoulder, after the failure of hydrocortisone injections to alleviate the problem.

Eventually, I reached a state of both physical and emotional collapse and, had no option other than to quit rather abruptly. A couple of the wardens apologized to me but, the rather myopic Vicar could only say that I had let them down.

It was over three months later that I was able, with the encouragement of Helen, to pluck up the courage to visit my GP; such was the severity of my emotional exhaustion!

My successor was given double the hours to perform much the same tasks (unsuccesfully, in part due to theill-health of the new postholder) and, with additional chores, it has now become a full-time post.

Now, some twenty months down the line, I still smart at the Vicar's insensitivity and, realize that I must let it go! In so many ways I still have a great deal of respect for the man but, this one splinter took on such gargantuan proportions that, neither my wife nor myself felt able to continue worshipping there. Admittedly, at the moment, I have great difficulty in being condemned to a be in a roomful of people for the duration of a service, no matter where!

I seek forgiveness for holding this grudge; as I've already stated in many ways I admire this man, who was an amazing mixture of pastor, minister and administrator; his major failing is being a workaholic, which perhaps leaves him blind to the all too frail flesh of others!

I just, suddenly, had the desire to sweep out this murky closet.