Making the most of a bad job!

This evening, at 10.00pm, I went out for my first BBW (brief brisk walk) since rather overdoing it last Friday. An attempt to speed up on the return leg (of the walk ... I actually used both each way!) proved moderately successful. Irregularity of ability seems to be pretty much the blueprint for me at the moment. It would be nice if I could know in advance how, within reason, I was going to be the next day. I don't so much mind having to learn my limitations and so, pace my activities but, one days reasonable pacing seems to be the next day's struggle.

If I was more capable of an active social whirl I wouldn't moan on so much about limitations but, I do recognize how fortunate I am in what I can manage. The real frustration is that my energy deficit, lack of concentration, even the joint pains, seem to get passed off as symptoms of the depression of which I am 95% of the time unaware. As someone who has suffered spasmodic bouts of depression, not at all regularly, since my "breakdown" in the mid-60's, I do wish that my opinion that I am not in any way suffering any classic form of depression could be taken seriously. What "low" bouts I have these days, often of just a few hours duration, bear no resemblance to the pall that hung over me when I was depressed; they usually are a frustrated re-action to my lack of energy and physiological discomfort. The "chicken and egg problem" is all too obvious.

Body and mind are quite clearly closely intertwined, one can quite easily feel down because of a physical or neurological ailment ... this is not the same as being depressed!

PS I actually baled out 100 litres of water from the pond at lunch-time ... my, my, haven't I managed an exertionful day? My halo's positively shining.